8 Tools No Traveler Should be Without

On March 8, 2015March 12, 2015 By Cathy NoiceIn Workplace Navigator3 Comments

After a trip to the west coast last week, I realized that I had a bag full of tools that I depend on to travel with. I have to say it was one of the most difficult trips I’ve taken recently because we had snow and freezing rain here in North Carolina. There are plenty of folks who deal with this on a regular basis but I’ve been a transplanted Yankee for over 30 years. I haven’t dealt with slippery roads for an extended period of time since I left Ithaca, New York (home of lake effect snow, hills and parkas) in the early 80’s.

I had an early flight on Wednesday, so my husband insisted I get on the road on Tuesday afternoon as the sleet and snow were coming down. The plan was to drive the 75 miles to a hotel near the airport and then be able to get to the flight in the morning without a long harrowing drive in the pre-dawn. Well, the drive that afternoon was horrible. The snow/rain/sleet was freezing on my windshield which made it really difficult to see; it was like looking through Vaseline which made everything distorted. Trucks would pass and spray more liquid onto my car. Let’s just say, I was really tense for about two hours. When I finally got to the hotel, I was greatly relieved. It was the right decision because the roads close to the airport were much better than the roads in my hometown.

I came out the next morning to drive my car to the airport only to find that my battery was dead. Luckily the hotel I was staying at had an airport shuttle, so I made my flight.

So here they are. The 8 tools that no traveler should be without.

1. Phone charger (s). There is nothing worse than having your phone die while flying over Kansas City. I always plug my phone in whether I’m in a rental car, at the gate at an airport or in a conference. Any time my phone is less than 50% charged, I am on the hunt for an outlet. There are also portable chargers available, and I have two swimming in the bottom of my purse as an emergency backup. Keep your devices charged.

2. Calendar. Everyone has a calendar. I make sure that everything I need is on my calendar. If it’s a flight number and the time I need to get to the airport, once I book a ticket, it’s on my calendar. The address and name of the hotel? On my calendar. The confirmation number for my car rental? On my calendar. A reservation at a restaurant and its address ? On my calendar. I also copy my husband or my daughter on my air travel, so they know when I will be out of town. I have forgotten to tell my husband more than once…didn’t I tell you I’m going to Tampa? Calendar everything.

3. Headset. I have a set of really nice Bose headphones with a microphone that I can conduct conference calls with while I am traveling. I will use earbuds when running but when I’m on a plane there is a lot of external noise that makes earbuds inadequate. Whether it’s a book, podcast or Spanish lesson, a nice headset can block noise and can fold up when you are back on the ground. Make sure you can plug in to be able to listen.

4. Auxiliary cable. Most cars post 2000 have a plug in for an auxiliary cable. This lets you drive while having directions given through the car speaker system. This is invaluable when driving a rental car in a strange city. No need to crank up the phone and hope you hear every instruction. It also makes volume control much easier because you don’t have to mess with the actual phone and just turn the knob on the volume control on the dash. Be sure to take an auxiliary cable with you.

5. Phone. I wrote about the 7 apps (actually it was more than 7) no traveler should be without last week. Well you need to have a phone to have that all on. I organize my phone so that the most frequent apps I use are on my main screen. I know exactly where to find my navigation app (critical when driving a rental car) and usually have the hotel address preloaded so all I have to do is click to navigate. Keep it charged (see item 1), dry and you will always be ready to go.

6. Umbrella. I always keep a compact umbrella in my car. Not only does it pack easily if I might need it on a trip to Seattle (wait, that is a must) but it serves a dual purpose. I ended up using my umbrella to take all 5 inches of snow off my stranded car when I got back on Saturday. I know an ice scraper would be more efficient but a tool like a compact umbrella can be a multitasker (especially when you are desperate, cold and have nothing else). Keep your umbrella handy.

7. Jumper Cables. So my car battery was still dead when I returned to the East Coast on Saturday. AND I did not have jumper cables. So this is a new tool for my travel toolbox. AAA might be a better tool but I didn’t have AAA as of Saturday. I have to send a big shout out to Ron and Gustavo from the Doubletree Hotel in Durham. They searched the hotel for some jumper cables but failing that, they went to a local auto parts store, bought some and then came back and jumped my car in the dark, icy snow drift with the hotel shuttle. Saved my bacon. So, keep a set of jumper cables in your car, because you never know.

8. Toolbox. Make sure you have something to carry all these tools to keep them handy. I don’t think I’d keep the jumper cables in there, but having a backpack or purse (like this new one I have from Thirty One) is invaluable. I can keep all the cables, charges, headphones, umbrella and a dry secure spot for your phone all in one spot. Make sure it’s small enough store under the seat in front of you on a plane. The purse I have has a place for a water bottle with is a necessity for any two hour plus plane or car trip. Make sure you have the right toolbox.

This is my list (with the addition of the jumper cables). I’m curious as to what you see as an essential travel tool that you can’t live without?

7 Apps No Traveler Should be Without.

On March 1, 2015 By Cathy NoiceIn Workplace Navigator2 Comments

I travel alone a fair amount. I’m not a road warrior by any stretch of the imagination but as a woman traveling alone, there are apps that I would literally be lost without. Some of the apps I have are purely for my own daily routine that keep me mindful and present even if I’m in a hotel three time zones away. I can remember about 7 years ago, my cell phone fell into a toilet while I was in St. Petersburg, Florida at a conference. Toast. Gone. It was just a regular cell phone (not smart in anyway) but it stopped me in my tracks. How in the world was I to communicate with only landlines? The horror of it. I survived, but I can tell you, I know where my phone is any time I am near water.

I have to say that I view a 5 hours car ride or a 3 hour flight as an opportunity to learn something. I actually look forward to either hearing a book or playing brain games or learning a language while on cruise control or 30,000 miles above the earth. It’s like a blank slate of time that gets filled with a great collage of information, drama and inspiration.

So here they are. The 7 apps that no traveler should be without.

1. Waze. Waze is a navigation app that my cousin’s wife turned me onto about two years ago. It’s free. There are other navigation apps out there but my favorite is Waze. There is a communal feel about Waze. Everyone else who is on the app traveling at the same time is reporting events on the road, they are called “Wazers”. Whether there is an accident, police (visible or not visible) or an object in the road, you are alerted about half a mile in advance. It even tells you if it’s raining or snowing or the traffic is moving at 17 miles an hour just ahead of you. Check out Waze.

2. OpenTable. This is another free app that is indispensable for the woman traveling alone. This will get you a reservation in practically every city in North America (I haven’t tried it overseas). If you are traveling to Seattle, you can research in advance to find the perfect sushi restaurant with walking distance of your hotel or find a reservation on the fly when your flight is delayed. So why is this great for a woman traveling alone? Well, the last thing you want to do is to walk into a restaurant that has a 45 minute wait, is closed on Tuesdays or went out of business 3 months ago and they forgot to take down their website. In addition, you can review the menu and reviews to see if it’s in your price range and lines up with your palate. AND you earn points towards gift cheques to be used at participating restaurants.

3. Audible. I am an Audible devotee. I’ve been a member for over 4 years. Basically, you can listen to most books using this app. There is a membership fee depending on how many books you want to listen to. I have listened to everything from Gone with the Wind to Huckleberry Finn to The Five Dysfunctions of a Team. When books are recommended at a conference, I add it to my wish list. Even my commute is not a waste of time because I am constantly listening to books. As Zig Ziglar describes automobile university, “A study by the University of Southern California revealed that if you live in a metropolitan area and drive 12,000 miles a year you can acquire the equivalent of two years of college education in three years’ time by listening to educational information in your car.” Utilize your travel by learning more.

4. Do It Tomorrow. This is a free app that is basically a list keeper. There is one list for “Today” and another list for “Tomorrow”. I use these lists for everything from keeping notes in a conference, checklists for my trip (don’t forget your bathing suit!), or a running grocery list (AAA batteries, orzo and butter are on my list right now). It’s super easy to use. There are other apps that will share lists which are great as well. This has just been my default for the last two years. Make sure you either have a note pad or some other app but don’t muddle your head with trying to remember AAA batteries. Save that brain space for something else.

5. Weather. I have the default weather app on my iPhone that I can add or delete cities from anytime I want. So if I’m making a connection through Atlanta, I can look up the weather for the next seven days. I recently traveled to Tampa and while you might expect temperatures of 75 degrees in January, the highs were only in the low 60’s (perish the thought). At least I was dressed appropriately and I left my bathing suit at home. Have the weather handy at all times.

6. Routine. I have three apps that are part of my daily routine. I meditate using an app called Holosync usually while on a treadmill or running outside (kill two birds with one stone). I then spend 5 minutes using the free version of Luminosity which has brain games to improve cognition. After that, time permitting, I spend 10 minutes learning Spanish on Duolingo (there are other languages available and it’s FREE). This is part of my daily routine and it grounds me no matter where I am. When I’m traveling, it’s nice to have some things I can count on to enrich me.

7. Hotel Plus. Make sure you download your hotel app. You never know when you are going to be needing a hotel at 2 AM while driving on the belt line in DC (oh wait that actually happened to me). I was traveling to Florida a few years ago with my elderly parents. We were delayed for 4 hours and were to arrive after midnight. I used my Hilton app to find a hotel close to our destination airport and made a reservation. My parents thought I was a wizard. Make sure you have the right apps available before you travel so that you can be a wizard as well. Also, make sure you have your bank app, Starbucks if you’re a fan, etc. so that your life on the road isn’t over the top alienating.

This list could be endless but I think I have the essentials (and I realize there are more than 7). I’m curious as to what you see as an essential travel app that you can’t live without?

Every perfectionist should focus on these 7 things.

On February 22, 2015February 21, 2015 By Cathy NoiceIn Workplace Navigator3 Comments

I see so many of my clients get wrapped up with perfection. I have been guilty of constantly striving for perfection myself. I have measured my ability to be happy based on whether or not: I’m the perfect weight, I have the perfect job or I own the perfect house. I’ll warn you right now, you will never, ever, get to THERE. You never arrive at perfection so quit putting off your happiness until you get THERE. THERE is mythical. No one ever gets THERE.

I won’t deny that there are peaks along the way; those moments we refer to as the milestones of life – falling in love, getting married, job promotions, graduations and births. But invariably we slide right back to our happiness set point within 6 months. Generally, hedonic adaptation involves a happiness “set point”, whereby humans generally maintain a constant level of happiness throughout their lives, despite events that occur in their environment. So whether it’s hitting the lottery or having a spinal cord injury, your level of happiness resets to the same pre-event level.

The key is to change your set point, boost it; change the landscape. I’ve been working on this for the last year or so. It’s like setting your thermostat up one degree at a time. It’s a slow process but I think it is actually working.

Seeing this photo of the Leaning Tower of Pisa prompted this post. It took over 344 years to build the tower and it was already leaning when they put on the second story. So, even though it was less than perfect, they kept at it. It is a nice metaphor. Embrace the lean and keep going. Keep building; one stone at a time.

So if you are a perfectionist (and most of us are) here are the 7 things to embrace the lean:

1. Accept. Obviously, the town and builders of Pisa accepted the lean. In fact, they have said they would rather see the tower topple than fix the lean. There is peace in acceptance. Where are you leaning right now? I’m not at my ideal weight. I’m still paying for student loans from my Master’s degree and, apparently, I’m not getting any younger. This is all true but getting on the scale in the morning cannot be the barometer of how I will feel all day. A pound up or a pound down. Hmmm. Interesting. One more data point. It’s still going to be a great day. Accept what is.

2. Gratitude. I’ve been writing a gratitude journal for over three years. Every evening I write in it before I go to sleep. Usually it’s anywhere from four to ten names of people (or my dog) that I am grateful for. I’m not sure why I focus on people who had an impact on me during the day, it may have to do with how involved I have been with people in my career. You can write anything you want whether it’s the blue sky, the much needed rain or the roof over your head. Counting your blessings helps you focus on what is right with your world. This has had a huge impact on me. It keeps my glass half full. Focus on what you are grateful for.

3. Beauty. Beauty is everywhere. In the middle of winter it’s easy to see the outside world as cold and barren; leafless trees and arctic winds can seem ugly. But it’s all in how you look at it. A bracing wind makes me feel every part of my body. Barren trees make the squirrels, deer and birds much more apparent and reliant on us. There is the beauty of being snuggled up in bed when the wind is howling outside whether it’s with a good book, on the phone with a good friend or sleep. There is a beauty of slowing down to some degree with the seasons. And there is the truth that the beauty of the tower is the lean. Seek out the lean and the hidden beauty.

4. Reflection. Reflect on what you have accomplished. Most of the reason that coaching is so effective is that you have an outside person ask you to take stock in what you have done. We spend so much of our time thinking about what we haven’t done. Instead we need to think about all that we have done. I walked today, I made dinner, I worked, I wrote, I spent time with my dog, I finally sent that overdue email, I did laundry and so on. I have clients who put off our appointment because they feel like they didn’t get any action items done. When we end up meeting, even if they are resistant, they find out that they’ve done more than half their action items. They were just focusing on what they hadn’t done. Take time to reflect on what you have done and give yourself credit.

5. Reframe. Context is everything. Our perception of what we are achieving is completely in our own heads. We are the bellwether, not anyone else. Or we can be at the hands of “What will the public think or judge?” So, if you live in an expensive neighborhood, your Hyundai will never be good enough yet if you drive through a less expensive neighborhood, it might be the most coveted car on the block. I love a cartoon that was going around on Facebook that said “I wish I was as fat as when I thought I was fat”. Reframe and be OK with right now.

6. Optimalist. As written in an article by James Woodworth, ” Optimalists accept that life can be tough and painful at times. Their realism enables them to build resilience and the ability to cope with the difficulties life presents them.” This is the opposite of a perfectionist. Perfectionists are constantly disappointed by falling short as well as by every failure. They dwell on every shortcoming and they never push the envelope. Optimalists don’t fear what they might lose. They believe in the gain. The folks in Pisa didn’t worry about the tower tumbling down. Push the envelope and be an Optimalist.

7. Moment. Be in the moment. Be present. Perfectionists are constantly thinking about “what if” and are overly busy protecting their image and the “what ifs”. When you are doing this, you are missing what is in front of you. Enjoy what you’re looking at – how the sun hit that tree at just the right angle, or the taste of the coffee or the feel of the sheets. It’s your life; be there for it. Be here. Right now. Feel the chair. Feel your breath. Listen to the buzz of the room. This moment; right now.

Much like the folks of Pisa, this all takes patience. Nothing is accomplished overnight. Congratulate yourself with each small step. If you take a step back, so what, brush it off and know that you are on the right path. An imperfect path.

Gender bias at work. Who is making the coffee in your office?

On February 14, 2015 By Cathy NoiceIn Workplace NavigatorLeave a comment

In every office I have worked in, it’s always a woman making the coffee. At every meeting, it’s been a woman keeping the notes, all the guys beg off (if they are even asked) because their handwriting is supposedly illegible. It’s also a woman who is watering the plants, refilling the printer paper and making sure there are donuts for the morning meeting. I have been a part of the problem as well; I’ve made thousands of pots of coffee and ordered cake for the retirement party for years. In an article by Adam Grant and Sheryl Sandberg for the New York Times called Madam CEO, Get Me a Coffee, “This is the sad reality in workplaces around the world: Women help more but benefit less from it. In keeping with deeply held gender stereotypes, we expect men to be ambitious and results-oriented, and women to be nurturing and communal.” So while I’m making coffee and taking notes, some guy is getting the promotion. Yep!

In an article by Dana Wise in HR Magazine called Bringing Bias into the Light, it turns out that some of this gender bias is unconscious. I might be the breadwinner in my family and my husband may be the one who makes the coffee but when I recently took the Implicit Association Test (IAT) on Gender – Career, I discover I have a moderate bias towards men being associated with the workplace and with women being associated with family and the home. Me! My mother was the only person who worked outside the home on my street in the mid-sixties and my father dutifully did the dishes every night but regardless, I subconsciously associate men with the workplace.

So here are some ideas on how to make work a more even playing field with opportunities for everyone to change:

1. Discover. Take the IAT and discover if you have a bias. Odds are that you have a least a slight bias because the overwhelming majority of assessment takers did. You can’t know that you have a bias unless you find out where you are on the continuum. I tested into the largest cohort (32%) with a moderate bias. Now that I am aware of it, I can look at more objective data like scoring applicants on years of experience, certificates held and level of education. You don’t know what you don’t know.

2. Equalize. Make sure tasks in your workplace are handled equally by both genders. In the Times article they suggest “Assigning communal tasks evenly rather than relying on volunteers can also ensure that support work is shared, noticed and valued.” So ask Joe to make the coffee on Tuesdays or have the minutes be taken on a rotating basis. I actually knew a Vice President who did this with his team and one of his managers was responsible for setting up the minutes and agenda on a rotating basis (two male managers and one female manager). Share the load.

3. Public. Make sure that the efforts are public. In the article, “studies demonstrate that men are more likely to contribute with visible behaviors — like showing up at optional meetings — while women engage more privately in time-consuming activities like assisting others and mentoring colleagues.” This can be especially difficult for women. We are much more comfortable going behind the scenes and making it look easy. So guys out there? Make sure your female co-worker is being acknowledged publicly for pulling that project off. Make it public.

4. First. Women need to put themselves first. I can remember reading in Sheryl Sanberg’s book “Lean In”, that women will advocate for everyone else but themselves. So become an advocate for yourself. Sometimes I think it’s a great idea to imagine that you advocating for yourself fresh out of college. It’s easier if you think about yourself in the third person. I can ask for a raise for my twenty year old self but not for my middle aged self. According to Grant, “numerous studies show that women (and men) achieve the highest performance and experience the lowest burnout when they prioritize their own needs along with the needs of others.” This means that the women out there need to put themselves first, if not equal to everyone else. So don’t wait to be the last to grab a cookie from the plate, grab it first.

I have to say that as I write this, I asked both of my children to take the IAT (it’s free by the way). I am curious to see how both my son and daughter measure up on the Gender – Career assessment. I really hope that I have been an example of a hard working career minded women and that, on some level, it has seeped into my children’s subconscious mind. I’m guessing that it’s difficult to move gender bias in just one generation.

There is No Secret Sauce to Being a Great Manager – Take Action

On February 8, 2015 By Cathy NoiceIn Workplace NavigatorLeave a comment

I remember the first time I had to manage others. At the ripe old age of nineteen, I had just been promoted to Supervisor at a campus restaurant at Cornell University. So magically, I went from being a worker bee to being in charge of a shift. From soldier to sergeant. Just like parenthood, they don’t hand you an instruction manual on “how to supervise others”. It’s a trial and error process. I did everything from being a micro manager (“Did you greet that table yet? “or “How many French Fries are on that plate”) to being everybody’s friend (“Sure you can come in 30 minutes late for your Sunday morning shift” or “Go ahead and have another cigarette break, that line of folks can wait”). Trial by fire. But somehow I survived and managed to keep my job and most of my friends.

As a Human Resource professional for many years, I have seen newly promoted, and dyed in the wool managers make the same mistakes I did and some that were much more egregious. I’ve seen the power go to manager’s heads as they exploit their position by flirting with their underlings or bullying those from a different ethnicity. But what prompted this post is an infographic from the TD magazine, Key Drivers of Effectiveness for Managers and Leaders. Using a Towers Watson 2014 study of more than 32,000 employees from around the world, they found 5 drivers for effective managers and here is my take on them:

1. Respect. 70% of employees favored Manager treats employees with respect .Jackie Robinson said, “I’m not concerned with your liking or disliking me… all I ask is that you respect me as a human being.” I think it’s important that respect is not about liking someone. I may not like the Vice President of Logistics or the new mail clerk but I should respect them. I’ve seen leaders get all tangled up in titles so that a Dishwasher can’t ask a Prep Cook for help. Respect is unilateral with no boundaries defined by title, income, age, gender or culture. Manage with respect.

2. Follow through. 57% of employees favored Manager does what she says she will. A manager has to deliver. If you promised a raise or resources or a decision, do it. This is especially true in making decisions. If you need to cut the cord on a project that is bleeding red ink, make the decision. Your department is waiting for you to be decisive. They want to stop working on that project that is a dead end, which no one else is supporting. Make the call and cut the cord. And if you promised to approve the promotion by Friday, do it. Don’t wait until Monday (see item #1). Follow through builds respect and trust.

3. Communicate. 57% of employees favored Manager clearly communicates goals/assignments. I have seen managers who expect to be communicated to but fall flat on communicating themselves. There is nothing worse than a boss who does not respond. The project or promotion will come to a standstill as the department doesn’t know if they should continue on or stop or focus on something else. We all need to know what direction the ship is going in. We don’t know that unless the end point or the metric is clearly and frequently communicated.

4. Remove. 54% of employees favored Manager helps remove obstacles. Whether it’s having the right equipment, software or enough folks on the project, it’s critical for managers to know what obstacles are botching up progress. Of course, with this integrated with #1, #2 and #3; you need to respect your direct reports opinions, follow through on what you promised and make sure you communicate the progress on removing the obstacle. They are all intertwined. You can’t have one without the other. So if your assistant needs a software upgrade, call IT and make it happen and let your assistant know when they can expect the upgrade. Remove obstacles quickly and efficiently.

5. Differentiate. 54% of employees favored Manager differentiates between high and low performers. Your highly engaged, empowered assistant needs to be given stretch projects to help them grow and develop. Your slacker business specialist who is constantly calling in sick and has work that constantly needs to be reworked needs to be put on an improvement plan or an exit plan. This will involve a difficult conversation. It’s much easier to praise your rising star than try and turn around your faltering dead weight. But you have to deal with them. Everyone on the team knows when you are letting folks skate and become sacred cows. Deal with it. Don’t let it fester. People can’t turn around their performance unless they are told they aren’t performing. For hints on how to do this read my post on 7 Steps to Turning Around Your Slacker Employee. The stars need to know that they are rising and the slackers need to know they aren’t measuring up. Differentiate so your folks know where they stand.

In that job at Cornell, supervisors had to rate each employee for their performance on every shift. That seems crazy now in retrospect but when you have some 200 part time student employees and 10 student supervisors, there needed to be a system that gave each employee feedback. When, at the end of my first semester as a dishwasher (yes, a dishwasher), I was give some low marks for not having any initiative, my performance did a 180. I was helping prep cooks in my free time, bussing tables and looking for ways to be a team player. I was promoted to supervisor and, eventually, the manager of student employees for my Senior year. Without that feedback, I might still be washing dishes or, worse yet, terminated. I don’t remember who gave me the feedback but I was relieved that someone did. Make a difference.

Take a photo, it will last longer. Apparently, it won’t.

On February 1, 2015January 31, 2015 By Cathy NoiceIn Workplace NavigatorLeave a comment

I’ve read a few articles recently that dispute the theory that taking a photo will make the memory last forever. I can hear my children applauding this finding and, from this point forward, will never ever let me snap another group, holiday, vacation photo again. Ever. It’s disheartening. I first read about this in The Rotarian in an article by Frank Bures called “Photographic Memory”. He was reflecting on a trip to Hong Kong and being atop a mountain called the Peak. He sat there for hours enjoying the experience and watched throngs of tourist come up and snap several pictures, delete the worst and then move on, never taking a moment to take in the view. Never appreciating the experience. The photo was just one of a myriad that documented their trip but they never stopped to take it in.

I remember being asked to video tape one of my college roommate’s wedding. When we got to the reception after the wedding, I was videotaping all of my old college friends dancing on the dance floor and an old friend said “are you just going to watch or are you going to experience it?” I put the camera down and joined in on the old Animal House hit by the Isley Brothers “Shout”. I will never forget that moment. It took me back to my Junior year of college. I got out from behind the camera and experienced the moment. Alas, there is no video of me singing “a little bit softer now” but I have it tucked away in my gray matter forever.

So what should you do? Dump your camera app from your phone? Nah. Nothing that rash. But here are some ideas on how to be more present and less dependent on your phone to capture the moment:

1. Cut. Cut back on the amount of photos you are taking. If it’s not your wedding or 75th birthday, one or two will do. There was a time when I took a picture of each present my children opened on Christmas morning (boring!). This year, I took one photo of my parents with Santa hats on. It’s a great picture and, as my Dad turns 90 this year, who knows how many more opportunities there will be. My children were both home for about three weeks over Christmas this year (a very rare occasion). I am proud to say I only took three pictures. Or should I say I was only permitted to take three pictures. Cut back on the volume of pictures you are taking.

2. Accept. Be open to accepting the experience. Bures in his article quotes Susan Sontag, “Travel become a strategy for accumulating photographs. A way of certifying experience, taking photographs is also a way of refusing it.” I experienced this when I went to San Francisco last year and traveled to Battery Spencer at the Marin Headlands to see the Golden Gate Bridge. There were groups of tourists walking out to the overlook to take a picture and then head back. There were those who sat and accepted the experience. It was a magnificent view. The pacific wind was blowing, the sun was lowering in the west and I remember hearing at least 5 different languages from the crowd milling about. Accept the experience.

3. Observe. Take a moment to observe. Bures cites a study by Linda Henkel at Fairfield University. 27 undergrads were asked go to a museum and observe 15 items and take a photo of 15 other items. Their memory recall on the objects they only observed was much more precise. Henkel calls this “directed forgetting”, where we tell our brain that it doesn’t need to remember something we have taken a photo of. I went to the National Gallery in Washington DC last year purely to see an Andrew Wyeth exhibit. The exhibit was the only place where I was not permitted to take pictures. I have to say that I took my time and observed. Every gossamer wisp of a curtain blowing in the open window. It’s etched in my brain. Observe.

4. Focus. In some of Henkel’s studies, if the photographer focused in on the details, they were more likely to remember the details. I went on a trip Brazil when I was in my mid-twenties, I remember videotaping a big black tarantula spider crawling on the side of the road. I recently saw the video again. It’s precisely as I remember. So when you take a photo, zoom in on the gray heron or the tree branch or the sail boat. Focus on the detail.

5. Present. It’s not that you shouldn’t be taking photos but that you need to be present regardless. Photos are just push pins in your brain. They work more effectively if you stand back and take in the experience. Breath in the salt air, listen to the sounds of the breaking waves, touch the tree, smell the fresh baked bread and taste the crème brulee donut. Be there. Right now. Pause. Then, if you have to pin it to your brain for future use, take a picture. But first and foremost; be there, be present.

6. Organize. When you have a catalog of photos, make sure you organize them. In order to relive the experience, you will want to go back and look at the photos. If they are in a box dated 1970-2010, you have a problem. They are jumbled mess. So put them in folders by date or by topic or by person. If you keep them in a jumbled mess, you are not likely to sit back and review them. My grandfather was an avid photographer and he painstakingly (way before iPhones) put his photos in albums in chronological order, with dates and each person labeled. What a treasure trove. Put your photos in some kind of organization so that you and your loved ones can go back and reminisce. Organize your treasures.

I have to say that I went back to my phone after reading the article and deleted any picture that wasn’t of a person. I have also tried to take pictures on a more judicious basis. But the most important thing is that I am in the moment and less about documenting it. It’s an amazing place to be.

6 Strategies to Kick Stress to the Curb

On January 25, 2015January 24, 2015 By Cathy NoiceIn Workplace Navigator2 Comments

This is the time of year when most companies are in the middle of figuring out if they are as profitable as they thought. As efficient. If all the effort in 2014 was worth it on the bottom line. Annual reviews are being drafted, bonuses figured out. The worker bee hamster wheel is in full throttle. Will we have red or black ink on the bottom of that Profit and Loss statement? Kind of stressful and overwhelming.

It’s so important to be able to take a break. Touch the pause button. Tough to do in a deadline driven society. There are so many business cultures where the guy who stays the latest or works every weekend is the hero. Burning the midnight oil is a sign of fortitude and admired by the guys in the boardroom. All you have to do is read a book like “The 4-Hour Workweek” by Tim Ferriss and you realize that in the long run (or even the short run) being stressed out and overwhelmed is not the end all and be all of life. We all need to make sure we are grabbing a little balance and honestly – Maybe a lot of balance.

Here are some strategies to right the boat and eliminate some of the stress in your life:

1. Exercise. Ugh no. I hate exercise. It’s snowing out. It’s too hot. It’s dark. I’m too tired. It’s raining. I have said all these things. I have come home at the end of a hard day of work and thought “just sit on the couch and watch the news”. But I force myself to go grab my sneakers, dress appropriately (i.e. rain gear, reflector vest or gloves) and head outside. I might dread the first 5 minutes it takes to get myself together but once outside, I am able to flick the switch. I’m not saying I don’t think about the day or start thinking about tomorrow but I’m out in the elements. I’m moving. I have a new perspective. My heart is beating, my brain is being restored and my stress levels melt away. I don’t care what it is. Get moving!

2. Music. Find some calming music. This is not the time to break out some AC/DC or Iron Maiden. According to P. Murali Doraiswamy, M.D, there are two criteria for music to be calming, “Tunes slower than your heart rate, and ones that are classical music, appear to be the most effective at soothing stress.” Grab some Mozart or Windham Hill or Snatam Kuar and chill out. You can even take a walk with your ear buds in and kill two birds with one stone. There is a time and place for upbeat music just not when you want to de-stress. Take five minutes at work and pop those earbuds in and chill out. It uses a different part of your brain. You’ll come back to do better thinking. Find your music.

3. Reading. This is not the time to pick up the newspaper which can be stress inducing. Find a book that will bring you pleasure and escape, an adventure for your mind. I read “Gone with the Wind”. No small feat. But completely engrossing. According to the University of Minnesota, “a 2009 study at the University of Sussex found that reading can reduce stress by up to 68%. It works better and faster than other relaxation methods.” Personally, I think it’s due to putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and seeing from their perspective for a bit. Poor Scarlet and all her trials and tribulations. Suddenly I’m not worried about whether that client calls back. Pick up a book.

4. Meditation. Try just 5 minutes of meditation. I remember getting all wrapped up in doing it “right”. Let go of that. There are not meditation police that are going to come over and correct you. There are recordings, apps and books on the topic. Pick one up and give it a spin. Start slow and work your way up. Don’t go head off to a week long retreat at a Buddhist Temple if you are just getting started. Praying or Yoga can provide the same benefit. Pick what you are most comfortable with and get started. According to the Mayo Clinic, “When you meditate, you clear away the information overload that builds up every day and contributes to your stress. And these benefits don’t end when your meditation session ends. Meditation can help carry you more calmly through your day.” It’s like taking a de-stressor pill in the morning and it time releases throughout the day. Find your breath.

5. Control. It turns out that stress is dictated by our sense of control. So find things that are within your control. Strum a guitar, knit a sweater, paint a water color or write a blog. As Eric Barker wrote for Time Magazine, “Anything that increases your perception of control over a situation — whether it actually increases your control or not — can substantially decrease your stress level.” Bearing that in mind, reflect on what you are in control of. The time you get up, making lunch, your response to an upset customer. Realizing that you are in control of much more than you might normally think reduces your sense of feeling overwhelmed. Be in control.

6. Boundaries. Set clear boundaries. I leave my cell phone in the kitchen (far away from my bedroom) to charge all night. I don’t answer work emails on the weekend. I try to limit screen time (i.e. television, internet surfing, Netflix, etc.) to two hours a day. We eat dinner at the table with the television off. I try to do creative work early in the day and, as my willpower and concentration evaporates, I will work on more repetitive tasks like paying bills, social networking and returning emails in the afternoon. The world is constantly bombarding you for attention, set up some boundaries.

I have to say that having an empty nest has really helped my stress levels. No running out to school to drop off a book report or finding out about a last minute wrestling meet some two hours away. It might also be that I realize now that I am in control of my response to something that might be perceived as stressful. Take back control.

Take Up the Gauntlet. 7 Strategies to Achieving Challenges.

On January 18, 2015January 19, 2015 By Cathy NoiceIn Workplace Navigator1 Comment

I ran a marathon last week. This is a crazy notion for a 53 year old mother of two, non-athlete who would rather perfect a bread recipe than get up at 5 AM to run. What possessed me? Why in the world would I even take this up as a personal goal? I realize now, it’s because I am constantly trying to challenge myself. I want to push the envelope. Test my tenacity. Perhaps even surprise myself. I knew the minute I finished a half marathon last year that I was going to have to attempt the full Monty. As a running friend of mine says, “No one wants to run half of anything.” I needed to go the distance and I did!

Challenging yourself is great for your brain. You build new neuropathways and break out of the ruts of old habits. Whether it’s learning a new programming language, climbing a mountain or playing Rhapsody in Blue on a clarinet, they are all helping build your brain’s plasticity. In Dr. Norman Doidge’s book, The Brain That Changes Itself, there are many examples of how those who have lost brain function due to an accident or illness can rebuild the lost neuropathways. The only way to do that is to try new things. Dr. Doidge compares neuropathways to a slope with snow on it. You can go down any way you like but as you go down repeatedly, if you select the same path you start to build a rut. Good (exercising at 5 AM) or bad (a glass of wine at the end of the work day) either way you are building a path. Challenge yourself by picking a new path.

Here are some strategies to taking on a challenge:

1. Select. Decide which challenge you want to select. I felt like a marathon was the natural selection because I knew it would only get tougher the older I got. If I want to pick up my classical guitar at 60, there’s plenty of time for that. My knees and hips have a limited horizon in comparison to my fingers. My suggestion would be to pick something that is physically challenging if you are under 50 and something more mentally challenging if you are over 50. Either way, you need to decide but research that peak you want to summit, the river you want to raft or that certification you said you wanted ten years ago. Look at your options and make a selection.

2. Schedule. I have had my running scheduled out for the last seven months. I knew when I had to run 17 miles or 6 miles since May. Half if not 90% of the battle with a marathon is the preparation to run it. It’s a bad idea, especially at my age, to not train and show up to run 26.2 miles. In fact, it’s a recipe for disaster and injury. Same goes for learning a new programming language. Set aside 2 hours a week or 10 hours a week to work on learning the language. If you don’t need to spend several hours a week on your challenge, then it’s probably not enough of a challenge. Schedule time into your week to set yourself up for success.

3. Prepare. Prepare for adversity. There were days where I was supposed to run 10 plus miles and it was 30 degrees and raining out. I went to the gym. I started having bursitis in my hip about one month out from the race. I stopped walking my dog as I realized that her tugging on the leash was exasperating the injury in my hip. I was surrounded by folks who had the flu or had kids at home with the flu. I stuck to my office, didn’t shake hands and started using hand sanitizer like hand lotion. The most important thing in any race is to show up injury and illness free. Make sure you save your project or book to the cloud. Update your virus protection, get new strings for your guitar, and investigate the safest route to the summit. Prepare, prepare, prepare.

4. Bumps. There will be bumps in the road (or pot holes or trash bags or discarded cups). On the day of the race, it wasn’t supposed to rain until late in the afternoon, I was rained on for over two hours. I had left my plastic baggie to cover my phone in the hotel room (duh!). My phone survived but I had to let go. If I need a new phone, so what. It’s not like I could stop at a Walgreens to pick up a plastic baggie mid race. Lining up with 26,000 folks for the start of the race at 4:30 AM (yes…AM!), you are basically in the dark. There were discarded garbage bags, jackets, and the ground could be grassy or gravel or roadway. I needed to flow with the crowd and pay attention. Anticipate some bumps in your challenge. Be prepared to take an alternative path or reboot your computer or change a flat tire. Stuff happens. Just roll on past the bumps.

5. Support. Get some support. I had a ton of support for this race. Whether it was another marathon runner asking how my training run was over the weekend, my doctor (who has run 6 marathons) giving me race day advice, texts and messages from family and friends, or my daughter running alongside me at mile 13. We all need a little help from our friends. So if you don’t understand the software or how to string your guitar or which trail is the best to the summit, ask for help. Folks love to help and they really love cheering on an underdog. Get support.

6. Mindfulness. Anything as challenging as a marathon takes some mental fortitude and mindfulness. I abandoned the idea of listening to my own music as there were so many attractions along the run. Why try and zone out when I wanted to experience the “experience”. Whether it was my swollen Mickey Mouse hands, to the rain dripping the salty sweat onto my lips, to the slant of the exit ramps on my exhausted feet, to passing one more port a potty in hopes there would never be a line. I was there. So don’t multi task when you are figuring out that programming code. Don’t try and write the great American novel while watching Downton Abbey. Be present and mindful.

7. Serial. Be a serial challenge setter. I promised myself that I would have another challenge in mind by the end of the race. Many a marathoner warned me about the big letdown after the end of the race. I needed to answer the question of “what’s next”. Sure enough I decided to walk/run 2015 miles in 2015 with my childhood best friend. If you want to participate as well go to http://www.runtheedge.com/ if you would like to give it a shot as well. It’s always nice to know what the next challenge is. It keeps me focused and moving forward. Be a serial goal setter.

So what do you want to take on? How are you going to push the envelope? Don’t push off to “someday” that one thing you’ve always wanted to do. Set up that challenge and go after it.

Stepping into Conflict; It’s OK to Rock the Boat

On January 11, 2015January 4, 2015 By Cathy NoiceIn Workplace NavigatorLeave a comment

Over the last few months there have been several events accompanied by insights that bubbled up into an enormous realization; I avoid conflict. I think a lot of us avoid conflict but I realized this had become an almost daily occurrence. The illusion has been that if I avoid something uncomfortable like telling my son “No”, he will remain happy and the conflict will go away. In reality, it just builds. It may not appear today but that conflict will be back or the effects of not saying “No” will have a long term impact. The worst case scenario is that a relationship whether at work or personally, can be irreparably harmed.

I recently facilitated a fantastic new training model called “5 Behaviors of a Cohesive Team” based on a book by Patrick Lencioni. The first behavior is vulnerability based trust, (i.e. can I admit mistakes, can I ask for help, showing weakness, etc.) and the second behavior is constructive conflict. Patrick describes conflict:

“Therefore, it is key that leaders demonstrate restraint when their people engage in conflict, and allow resolution to occur naturally, as messy as it can sometimes be. This can be a challenge because many leaders feel that they are somehow failing in their jobs by losing control of their teams during conflict.”

Just replace the word parent, partner or friend into that quote for “leader” and child, spouse or coworker for “team”. I realized that I felt like conflict was failing whether it was with my husband, my mother, my assistant or my son. It turns out that stepping into conflict is critical and necessary for all teams, relationships and marriages. Wow. So my avoiding the conflict or not letting the conflict occur between folks at work and at home was actually destructive. That’s a big, “Aha!”

So here are some of the things I’ve been working on in order to step into conflict:

1. Uncomfortable. I’ve been trying to embrace being uncomfortable. I’m the kind of person who goes around smoothing the waters. Human Resource folks do this all the time. Talk to Marketing, talk to Accounting, talk to Production and make it all right. Make sure everyone is happy. This is an illusion. It’s just pacifying everyone and no solution is ever figured out. In recent weeks I’ve tried to pick at the scab and to be uncomfortable. I need to rock the boat. I bring up the financial shortfall or the difference in opinion or talk about the lapse in communication. Step into being uncomfortable.

2. Discord. I’m trying to be accepting of discord. My idea or interpretation is not the only one that matters. I know that sounds obvious but we all have our own world view. I need to allow for a difference of opinion and let it go. It’s easy to get attached to a difference of opinion as if the other person doesn’t respect me or my ideas. Staying detached from the difference and not making up assumptions for the discord is critical. I realized this when I look at my parent’s marriage. My father is a devout conservative Republican and my mother is a bleeding heart Liberal. They will celebrate 60 years of marriage in 2015. That amounts to a lot of discord. From Carter to Bush, there was a lot of passionate debate but they were able to agree to disagree. Accept discord.

3. Ask. Be open to ask for help. As Tal Ben-Shahar espouses in his book, The Pursuit of Perfect, reaching out and being vulnerable enough to ask for help can strengthen your relationship with your team, your family and your boss. The perfectionist in all of us defaults to giving advice instead of asking for it ourselves. Think about it for a minute. When someone asks you for help, aren’t you honored? Doesn’t it strengthen your relationship? There is the fabled story that Ben Franklin asked to borrow a prized book from an arch rival. The arch rival lent it to him. From that point forward he was an ally. How can you keep an enemy of someone you lent a prized book to? It takes vulnerability to ask for help.

4. Empathy. Put on someone else’s shoes to understand where they are coming from. I’ve learned some very powerful tools from my training with CRR Global. One of them is about looking at someone else’s position from the perspective of them living in a different land. I did this recently with a group regarding the utilization of the company cafeteria. We divided the group into three “lands”, one group ate in the cafeteria on a regular basis, the other rarely or never ate in the cafeteria and the last group were the workers in the cafeteria. They each stood in their land and told us what is was like in the land. Then they each visited the other lands to find out what it was like to be from a different perspective. It was completely enlightening. To hear a coworker say that “it must be difficult to try and serve food when the employees are limited on time” or “I just want to escape from work so I go off premise”. Every point was valid and hearing it expressed built empathy for all the participants. Empathy is key.

5. Act. Do something. Sitting back and criticizing behind someone’s back is the coward’s way out. Take a deep breath, face your fears and take a step forward. If you don’t like the new policy, the bonus plan or the joke your co-worker just told; step up and speak up. This is definitely the hardest part for me. Based on several books and articles I have read this probably because women are more comfortable advocating for others than themselves. I’ve done this in baby steps. If I wait until I’m not emotionally charged and speak privately to the offender by saying something like, “You may not realize this but I was offended by what you said”, or “In my opinion this project looks tenuous based on the feedback I’m getting from our clients”; I am capable of acting to affect change Act and be heard.

Facing conflict instead of hiding from it is scary, messy and imperfect. It means that you can’t play it small. Rock the boat before it tips over! In the long run, your relationships and your team will be strengthened by it.

Being in the Moment. What my Dog Taught me About Presence.

On January 4, 2015January 4, 2015 By Cathy NoiceIn Workplace Navigator1 Comment

If you listen to the book, The Obstacle Is the Way, on Audible there is an interview between the author, Ryan Holiday and Tim Ferriss, author of 4-hour Workweek at the end of the recording. It is a fascinating interview and at one point Tim asks Ryan what he is grateful for. Ryan responds, his dog because he helps keep him present. I immediately connected. My dog, Baci, is the most joyful, present being I know and I absolutely learn from her every day.

Baci is a 6 year old Brittany who we have owned since she was 2 months old. Outside of being a pain to get house broken (I think it took almost 2 years), she is the best dog I have ever owned. I think she’s had an influence on our entire family, as she shares her joy and love unabashedly. So if one dog can change the culture of a house, imagine what you could do if you could adopt some her greatest attributes.

Here is what she has taught me:

1. Smile. Many dogs like Spaniels and Retrievers have a smiling face. The smile is infectious. You cannot look at a smiling dog and not smile back. So do you want to be infectious? Do you want your coworkers or your friends to be drawn to you? Think about smiling more often. Show up to the meeting with a smile. To the party. To the conference call. People will “hear” the smile. Curl up the ends of your mouth and let those pearly whites shine. Smile.

2. Eye contact. When Baci wants something (usually the door being opened so she can go run after a squirrel), she walks right over and makes eye contact. She gets my attention by staring deeply into my eyes. Imagine going into a meeting and the only way you could communicate is through your eyes. They cannot be ignored. I can see how this might be taken too far as staring down your boss in a meeting might be counterproductive but making eye contact is so important in getting someone to take notice. Be sure to make eye contact.

3. Touch. Reach out and touch. This may seem too familiar in the business setting and I grant you that women have more latitude than men when it comes to touching. There are many women that I hug when they come for an annual strategy meeting but not the men. It’s tricky and for all I know, it’s a Southern thing. But when Baci wants to be scratched, she reaches out and taps my hand or nuzzles me on my arm. Connecting with someone by just tapping them on the shoulder or the back of their elbow or shaking their hand can greatly enhance the outcome. You are more connected to someone when you touch them.

4. Roll. Baci rolls with the punches. She’s not pouting in the corner because I forgot to feed her yesterday or stomping off in a huff because she failed to nab that pesky squirrel before it reached the maple tree. There.are.no.regrets. There is another squirrel where that one came from. Dogs don’t end up with ulcers or depression or stress related illnesses. She isn’t ruminating about all the missed opportunities from yesterday or worried about whether or not it will rain this Saturday. She takes it all as it comes. Let it roll.

5. Chill out. Baci can chill out and take a nap ANYWHERE. When we get back from our morning walk, she takes a few sips of water and then heads to her favorite chair to chill out. She takes care of herself. She’s just exerted a lot of energy dragging me around the neighborhood and she sits back and relaxes. Don’t we all need to do that? Instead of focusing on the next task or project. Take 15 minutes and recoup. It helps your demeanor. Take a minute or five to chill out.

6. Love. I don’t know about your dog but my dog loves everyone. I’ll lick your face if you like, let me cuddle with you, I’m your BFF unconditional kind of love. She doesn’t care how old you are, what language you speak or what gender you are. If you are in front of her, she loves you. No questions asked. Imagine having that kind of love for everyone when you head to your next board meeting or widget manufacturing conference or high school reunion. Unconditional love is really freeing. It leaves you open with no attachments. Embody the Baci love (except maybe not licking anyone’s face).

7. Live. Baci inhales life. If it’s running through a pile of leaves, chasing the elusive squirrel, keeping the geese at bay or fetching a tennis ball, she is all in. She doesn’t hold back. If this is the task at hand, she will bring her whole self. I’ve never thrown a tennis ball and have her meander over halfheartedly to pick up the ball. So bring it. To your next project, washing the dishes or writing a blog post. Be all in.

As I write this, my dog is sprawled on the floor next to me. Never self-conscious. Never worried about the judgments of others. It’s so inspiring. Just be.