5 Strategies to Optimize Your Strengths

On September 20, 2014September 20, 2014 By Cathy NoiceIn Workplace Navigator1 Comment

As leaders and managers we seem to spend a lot of time focusing on everyone’s weaknesses or short-comings; very often our own. Performance improvement plans, appraisals, report cards and even weighing yourself can focus on the negative. The area that needs improvement. The areas we or our direct reports fell short. I can focus on the typo my assistant had in an email and totally overlook the project he took on all by himself, flawlessly. It’s always easy to default to picking out what went wrong in order to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Whether it’s the B on the report card with the balance being all A’s, remember the brownie you had yesterday when you weigh a pound more even though you also ran 10 miles or focusing on the budget shortfall when sales are way above expectations. We focus on the weaknesses and try and mitigate them.
How about focusing and leveraging your or others strengths? I can remember a Marketing Director who was horrible at catching typos. Catching typos is pretty important when it comes to marketing collateral. The director was outstanding at design and implementation but wasn’t that great at details. I can identify with this. I’m horrible at details. Grammar even. So do we send the Marketing Director and me to a course on finding mistakes and typos or do we find someone who “loves” to find all the flaws? They actually find it a challenge to make sure an entire document is flawless. We can send us to courses, school and for an MBA but it’s only going to mitigate the issues. We will never be flawless. It’s best to play to our strengths and find someone else to pick up the slack on our weaknesses.

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So here is how to do that:

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1. Inventory. Take an inventory of what you are good at. In Scott Adams’ book, How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big, he suggests recalling what you loved to do when you were 10 years old. What could you spend hours at? I can remember setting up class rooms and pretending to be a teacher or creating plays when I was a kid in our basement. Hmmm. Maybe that’s why I like facilitating and coaching. Another option is to take an assessment like Strengths Finders. If you purchase the book, they give you an access code to take the assessment. My top three strengths are Strategic, Relator and Positivity. It’s good to know. Being a claims adjuster or mortician might be a bad fit. Inventory your strengths.

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2. Delegate. Figure out your weaknesses, and if possible, delegate them. I’m really fortunate that one of the members of “Cathy’s Brain Trust” (folks who give me feedback before I post these posts) is an English Major. Actually, you all are very fortunate that she is an English Major because grammar isn’t my strong suit. I also don’t have a very good handle on Excel. I can do the basics but it’s tedious to me. I have no desire to attend classes to become an Excel wiz. If I can avoid working on a spreadsheet, I delegate. So look at your team. Are you trying to make someone who loves sitting at a computer trouble shooting, try and improve their customer service skills? If they aren’t friendly and accommodating, perhaps there is someone else who is better suited to take phone calls. As any good team coach would say, put your aces in their places. Delegate your weaknesses.

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3. Dedicate. Now dedicate some blocks of time to your strengths and get into the flow. Csíkszentmihályi (the psychologist who coined the idea of flow) described flow as “being completely involved in an activity for its own sake. The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one, like playing jazz. Your whole being is involved, and you’re using your skills to the utmost.” Parlay what you are good at so that you can do your best work. This is much more productive (and enjoyable) instead of trying to fix your weaknesses. It’s also a much more positive experience. Dedicate blocks of time to flow.

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4. Reflect. Takes some time to reflect on your accomplishments. From my years of coaching experience, this is something most of us don’t do. Take a look back on what you accomplished with your strengths. Acknowledge yourself for all that you have contributed to the world. Even small things can add up. Did you just run your fastest time for a 5k? Did you spend a half hour with your aging mother? Did you pay it forward by buying a latte for the car behind you? Did you make a contribution to ALS? Did you make sure you smiled at a stranger at the grocery store? All of these things add up. Take stock and reflect on all that you have accomplished.

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5. Assess. Assess your optimization of your strengths. The strengths that you have are your gifts. Make sure you are using them. Take my biggest strength, Strategic. I’m talented in creating alternative ways to proceed. If there is any given scenario, I quickly spot patterns and issues. When I am coaching or facilitating, I’m open to all options which enhances my students and clients thinking. When I am given a set curriculum that is regimented and unbending, I might as well be in a straight jacket. I suffocate. I make sure that I have an outlet for my strategic strengths. If you were a concert pianist, a toy xylophone would be an insult and unbearable. If someone enjoys people, don’t put them in a window-less office for 8 hours a day. Assess the utilization of your strengths.

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I realize that most of us can’t spend 60 hours a week on just our strengths and delegate taking the trash out for the rest of our lives. I do think you can strike a balance so that you and the folks around you can feel empowered by making sure that their gifts are being utilized on a daily basis.

Be Your Own Choice Architect. 6 Ways to Stay Out of the Ben and Jerry’s at Midnight.

On September 14, 2014September 13, 2014 By Cathy NoiceIn Workplace NavigatorLeave a comment

I make the worst choices at the end of the day. Whether it’s a brownie after dinner, an extra glass of wine or blowing off the work out I skipped in the morning. All bad decisions happen after 5 PM. I make a lot more mistakes at the end of the work day. The last email I send out isn’t as well thought out and the report to my boss is full of errors. I have a lot more typos and I can come across as insincere. As my friend Michele Woodward says, “We all start with 100 units at the beginning of the day and that’s all we get. There is no carry over and you can’t go to the bank to buy some more. 100 units period. If you are out of your 100 units by 5 PM, you are going to make some bad choices.”

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In the book, Nudge, by Thaler and Sunstein, they suggest that there is no such thing as a “neutral design”. Whether it’s a voter ballot, where a bathroom is located in an office building or whether organ donation is a forced choice, design has an effect on what we do. Take the example of organ donation, if you require a driver to chose to either be a donor or not, the amount of those who opt into donation increases dramatically. In the state of Texas, when they forced drivers to choose, the amount of donors went from 70,000 donors to over 936,000 in the first year. One small design change, and suddenly the organ donation skyrockets. Making it mandatory to decide if you wanted to donate, made it easier to do so, and therefore, save lives. Wow.

So here are some ideas on how to sustain your habits and stay away from the Ben and Jerry’s at 9 PM:

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1. Loss adverse. We are much more loss adverse than reward driven. I found this out when I implemented a wellness program at a company with about 100 employees. When we rolled out the program, we charged employees $100 per month for their insurance premiums if they did not participate. We had 100 percent participation. Other programs that use $100 incentive to join up typically have about 60% participation. The stick of paying $100 more caused everyone to sign up because they were loss adverse. The program where you gain the $100 is much more beneficial to the participant but they don’t participate to the same degree. So how do you use this in your life? Go to stickk.com and sign up. Want to get fit? You can set it up so that if you don’t run 10 miles a week for a year, you can send money to an objectionable group such as the Tobacco Growers Association. The stick will drive you to stick to your plan. Utilize your loss aversion.

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2. Priming. Studies have shown you can “prime” behavior. One study had participants list words associated with older people and then afterwards they walked slower. In another study, subjects were primed to leave a larger tip if an altruistic saying was imprinted on the bottom of their tab. Think of ways to prime your behavior. Maybe it’s an energizing red shirt to go running in or a green plant on your desk to prime your creativity. Even the mere smell of disinfectant can prime folks to keep their space cleaner (hmm. I wonder if that works on teenage sons). Prime for the behavior you want.

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3. Peer pressure. If it weren’t for peer pressure, I doubt you would have worn bell bottoms. Set up some peer pressure to help you develop new habits. Tell your spouse you’ll be getting up at 5 AM so that you can get your exercise done in the morning. Tell your friends you are going sugar free so they help support you at the next company picnic with snow cones and cotton candy. Be part of the solution by asking about your coworkers’ progress on their fitness program. Apply some peer pressure.

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4. Rise early. Either rise early or at least at the same time every day. Successful people get up early. I have to say I’ve been getting up at 5 AM for the last nine months and I feel a lot more productive. First of all, it helps me get some form of exercise in before my day gets going. There is no excuse if you have to be to work by 8 AM. If you are up at 5 AM, surely you can get on the treadmill for at least 30 minutes if not an hour. Regardless, consistency in the time you wake up helps keep all your other habits on track. Systematize your day by rising early.

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5. Two days in a row. I read this in an article recently. To keep your habits on track, never skip more than one day. So I have to say I skipped exercising last Sunday. The next day was pouring rain, I had a horrible night’s sleep but when the alarm went off at 5 AM, I briefly thought about sleeping in but I remembered the article, and I thought, I can’t skip two days in a row. So I got up and drove in the pouring rain to the gym. It’s kind of like, you can slide for one day but two? It keeps me on track and accountable. Skip one day with your new habit, but never two.

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6. Environment. Set up your environment for success. All my running garb including water bottles, socks and shoes are in my bathroom closet. I don’t need to wake my husband up in order to get out the door at 5:15. There isn’t any Ben and Jerry’s stashed in my freezer. I keep my smart phone charging in the kitchen at night so I’m not tempted to check it in the middle of the night. I keep my desk clear and uncluttered so I am not distracted when I work. Design your environment so that you make the best choices.

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Being your own choice architect helps you take responsibility for your life. There is a choice between believing that you are the captain of your own ship or you are at the whim of the current. Take control of the choices in your life.

6 Ways to Deal With the Gifts We Don’t Want

On September 7, 2014 By Cathy NoiceIn Workplace NavigatorLeave a comment

We all get gifts we don’t want from time to time. Unless you have a gift registry or Wish List for every birthday, Mother’s Day, Christmas and dinner party; you will end up with that clunker gift. The one you have no idea what to do with or why the gifter gave it to you. I just spent my entire Sunday, helping my daughter sift through the treasures and trash of her life, as she moves into her first “real” apartment in her “real” adult life. We had some 15 boxes and bags that contained the contents of her childhood, adolescence and college life. There were figurines her grandmother gave her, several stuffed owls with caps from her graduation, the portrait an old friend painted of her and earrings that she was sure she would never wear. Many gifts. Many laden thick with dust. She diligently sorted through everything and made the tough decisions.

The unwanted, indiscriminate, poorly chosen gifts were a subject of an email conversation with my “Brain Trust” (my trusted friends who edit and tinker with the blog). What do you do when someone gives you a White Zinfandel, when you are clearly a red wine lover? Isn’t it obvious? Or the house guest brings a fake wooden bowl to a farm to table type foodie. It’s kind of like bringing a Rap CD to a Buddhist monk. What were they thinking? It’s easy to get caught up with the indignant judgment of “Is this what they think of me?” Getting WAY too wrapped up into what the gift givers intent was. It’s all a part of acceptance. Taking the good with the bad. The poorly chosen with the “spot on – this makes me so happy – you really, really know me” gift.

So what do you do when you receive the battery operated singing fish, the Chia pet or the cuckoo clock that chimes every 15 minutes? Here are some ideas.

1. “Your gift is your presence.” This was on a recent invitation to a 50th wedding anniversary I attended. When I saw that on the invite, it was SUCH a relief. What do you buy a couple who have been together for 50 years? A punch bowl? A vase? Nope. A card. That’s what. So, if you really don’t want a gift, say it. Or ask for a donation to your favorite charity. Obviously, this is easier when the occasion dictates a formal invitation but if you really don’t want anything, say it. Let their presence be their gift.

2. Register. If you are having a baby or getting married, please set up a gift registry. This is so much easier for the rest of us who have never been to your home and have no idea if you have a sister who just had a little boy and will have tons of hand me downs. And if you register, please make sure there are gifts at lower price points so that going to your baby shower or wedding doesn’t cause us to take out a second mortgage.

3. Ask. If you are the guest-to-be at the house warming party, ask the hostess if you can bring anything. I’m lucky. My husband is a home brewer, so most folks I visit end up with some homemade brew (if they enjoy beer, which I ask in advance). You never know what they might say if you ask. Folding chairs. Munchies. Extension cord. Imagine the host’s relief when you lend him the 8 foot ladder he needs to hang the party lights instead of yet another “chip and dip” bowl. Ask.

4. Gratitude. Whatever someone brings you, be sure to show your gratitude and appreciation. Halloween dish towels. Thank you! Box of Gallo Chablis. Wonderful! 3 pound bag of Skittles. You shouldn’t have! Do not explain that you are a …diabetic, an alcoholic or that you don’t celebrate Halloween. Take the gift with gratitude and acceptance. The gifter is someone who went out of their way to select a gift for you. Accept it with gratitude and move on.

5. Suspend judgment. It’s easy to get indignant and start thinking about why someone would purchase for you a set of Easter mugs or insulated cups with your rival school’s mascot on them. Any gift is more a reflection of the person giving it to you rather than the receiver. After all, unless you registered for it, this is all about the person giving it. Maybe there is a story to tell. Their brother in-law makes handmade Easter mugs. Their daughter just started going to Syracuse. Or not. Worrying about it will only eat you up. It’s really about them and not about you. Suspend judgment.

6. Let go. When we went through my daughter’s life history in 15 boxes and bags on Sunday, it took a lot of letting go. There were pictures that hung in my daughter’s bedroom for some ten years, that she hated (who knew?). There were gifts from South America that she cherished. There were several things that held a little guilt if we took them to Goodwill. What if Aunt so and so or Grandma or my friend Suzy find out that I gave the gift away. They won’t. There is someone who can use that clock radio, or teddy bear, or bracelet. The last thing you want to do is hold on to stuff and start dragging it around the earth. The guilt will drag around with you when you keep the clock radio stuffed in a box in the attic. Just let go.

I’m not suggesting you get rid of everything. If something is cherished or a memento you want to keep, please do. If you are keeping something only out of obligation or guilt; it might be time to let it go. I have to say that having all the “stuff” out of the house has been liberating. Now I’m looking in closets and thinking…hmmm…I wonder what I need to let go out of here?

Is there something you need to let go of? Please leave a comment on the WordPress site.

6 Ways to Make the Best Impression. It Might Even Keep You From Being Sued.

On August 31, 2014 By Cathy NoiceIn Workplace NavigatorLeave a comment

We make snap decisions based on a single interaction. A smile, a glint in the eye can be infectious. Someone holding the door open or handing you the quarter you inadvertently dropped. The small moment of generosity is a gift that keeps giving. On the flip side, something as insignificant as a doctor spending three less minutes with a patient and not asking any questions…or listening to the response, can increase the chances of that doctor being sued for malpractice. In Malcolm Gladwell’s book, Blink, he says, “What comes up again and again in malpractice cases is that patients say they were rushed or ignored or treated poorly.” Think of that! There was no appreciable difference in the quality of the care, just a difference in the behavior of the doctor.

Nowhere do these snap decisions have a bigger impact than a job interview. In my years of recruiting as a restaurant owner and as a Human Resource professional, I have seen the entire gambit. I’ve had candidates come in to the interview with a toddler and infant in tow. Applicants who fill out the application with just their name and the box that asks what position they are applying for is filled in with “Any”. Then there are waiters who look terrified and never crack a smile. Or recent college grads with their collar and necktie so tight, I thought their head might pop. Special moments like an interviewee who hugged the hiring manager. All these things matter when the decision to have a candidate continue on in the process comes down to the first few seconds of the interview. Most screening interviews (which is what a Human Resource professional is usually doing) can last less than 15 minutes. If you want to move on in the process, you better shine. You can think you will overcome the tight collar, the lack of a smile. But you can’t. I’ve already made a decision, consciously or not, to move on.

So how do we connect with folks and make the best impression? Here are some ideas:

1. Smile. Perception is reality and if you smile, you will be more approachable. This was a painful revelation last year when I took a presenting skills class through Dale Carnegie and my insightful instructor, Jackie Kellso, went over the video tape of my first presentation. I never smiled. I looked angry. I didn’t want to listen to the woman in the video tape (and it was me). By the last video, I was smiling and what a difference it made. It is so much more engaging. Approachable. I want to be around people who smile. You want to be around people who smile. Let’s all smile. And often.

2. Contact. Make eye contact. When I interviewed for a spot at the Cornell Hotel School, I made eye contact with the recruiter and never broke it until he did. Eye contact means you are engaged. It means you are paying attention. This also means you can’t look at your phone or your watch or out the window. Keeping eye contact keeps the other person engaged as well. You can bet that the doctors who were sued for malpractice didn’t make eye contact. They were probably staring at the medical chart. Stay connected by making eye contact. People find it flattering as well.

3. Laugh. Laughter equals joy. I’m not talking about self-deprecating laughter or sarcasm; I’m talking pure laughter without rolling the bus over someone at their expense. I try to find the joy in others: My son doing a Nathan Lane impression, the crazy faces/noises my daughter makes and my dog chasing a squirrel she has no intention of actually catching. Find the joy. The laughter. Who would you rather be around, someone with no sense of humor or someone who can find the joy, even over spilled milk. Laugh.

4. Ratio. Have a five-to-one positive-to-negative ratio in your interactions. John Gottman, the marriage guru, studied over 700 couples. Those couples who dropped below the five-to-one ratio in a 15 minute conversation, predicted a subsequent divorce with a high level of accuracy (81% to 94%). So it’s not just about being positive, it’s about how often you are positive versus negative. So if you tell your spouse, thanks for doing the dishes and then go on a diatribe about all the unfinished chores…no dice. Maintain the ratio with those around you.

5. Body. Look at your body language. Shoulders back. Head erect. Along with feeling more confident, you will sending out a positive impression. I can remember in a class I took that the instructor told us to slump our shoulders, look at the floor and say “I feel great today”. I didn’t feel great when my body language was speaking volumes of the opposite. When asked to do the flip and sit erect and shoulders back and say “I feel lousy today”. My words didn’t not resonate because my body was speaking confidence. What is your body saying in that project proposal, the job interview or on that first date? Pay attention to your body.

6. Connect. If possible, physically connect. A good friend of mine, Susan Passino, was a server with me when I worked at the San Francisco Airport (MANY years ago). She always told me to touch customers on the back of the shoulder if possible. Connecting with someone physically, whether a handshake or a light tap on their shoulder or arm is powerful. Suddenly you are not anonymous. You are connecting on a different level. If you are shaking someone’s hand, be sure to make sure you have been holding a warm beverage in it before. Studies have shown that cold beverages lead to cold hands and a “cold” impression. If it’s possible, try and physically connect.

It’s easy to look around an pick out those folks you don’t think give off a positive impression but everything really does start with you. Work on giving off that positive vibe yourself. Be the light that shines out on everyone else.

Attitude and the Flawless Croissant. Never Lost in Translation

On August 24, 2014August 23, 2014 By Cathy NoiceIn Workplace NavigatorLeave a comment

I recently traveled to the province of Quebec with my daughter. French is the official language in Quebec and neither my daughter, who is fluent in Spanish, nor I speak French. I have to admit that I took three years of French in high school but outside of a few cooking terms like mise en place and sauté…I don’t remember a lick of it. This was quite intimidating as we crossed the border in our car on Interstate 89 just north of Burlington, Vermont needing to find a bathroom desperately.

Quebec is largely rural with a ton of farms, and, to our dismay, did not have any gas stations or fast food locations within the first 40 or so miles inside the border. And EVERY sign was in French. In addition, my cell coverage was not working. This might have been a bad idea. We are reading signs as we pass through the little villages near the border. “Bar Laiter” appeared on several signs. “Wow, they sure have a lot of bars here in Canada”. Finally, one of the signs that said “Bar Laiter” also had a picture of an ice cream cone. “Ohhhh. That’s a dairy bar. Let’s see if they have a bathroom”. We walked into the shop and there in the back was a sign saying “Toilettes”. Whew. When in doubt, always look for the food sign, a food sign, any food sign!

As we traveled through Montreal and Quebec City for the next few days, we learned that food would be our common denominator. Here are some key learning’s:

1. Greetings. Wherever you go, be sure to know the local greetings. Whether “bon jour” or “howdy” or “hola”…know how to greet folks in their own language. Making the effort to meet them in their own language shows respect and effort on your part. It’s ok if your “bon jour” lacks any Parisian flair and nuance (heck you don’t want them to think you really speak French anyway). It’s fine if if you sound like a New Yorker speaking Midwestern; people will make allowances if you try. There is nothing so sweet as the waiter or valet responding with a sweet , melodic “bon jour” in return. Study up on your greetings.

2. Smile. A smile forgives a thousand sins. It’s easy to get so nervous about a lack of fluency that we put our stone face of fear on. The best response is smiling. It is the international language. A smile is disarming. It’s very difficult to get upset if someone is smiling at you. Even if you don’t know how the credit card machine works or need directions to the ladies room ~ Smile.

3. Patience. Turn up your patience dial. Just 48 hours before arriving in Montreal, we had been in the center of stress inducing, manic, adrenaline provoking Manhattan. The pace in Manhattan is in stark contrast to laid back Montreal. When you eat in a restaurant, it’s expected as we later learned from our tour guide, that a meal will take hours and no one is ever going to ask you to leave or even present a check until you ask. We were on vacation for god’s sakes. Relax. Linger. Take your time. Embrace patience.

4. Local. Eat local. We found out on a food tour we took in Old Montreal, that Canada produces excellent duck and maple products. In the next three days, we had every manner of duck (canard in French) from confit, to pate, to a’la Orange. Delightful. In fact, every menu contained duck and every preparation was wonderful. Quebec is the center of the world on maple syrup and sugar production. Whether maple pie, maple crème brulee or maple ice cream…we had it all and it was perfection.

We stumbled upon a Patisserie that had a French trained chef who made the most perfect croissant my daughter and I have ever eaten. We didn’t need to know the language to understand great food. We may have killed our ability to have a Pillsbury Crescent Roll going forward but the experience of tasting that flaky perfection was worth it. Always try to eat local products.

5. Open. If you travel to places with different cultures and languages, you’re going to need to be open. If you want scrambled eggs and Maxwell house coffee for breakfast, stay home. If you are uncomfortable saying “merci” instead of “thank you”, stay on your couch. If you are afraid of being embarrassed by your pronunciation of “bonsoir”, don’t bother with a passport. My daughter and I had a blast practicing the common phrases we heard and tentatively tried them out on unsuspecting front desk and busboys. At one restaurant we were given a gigantic jar of cornichons with our pate, OK, so this is how they do this here, let’s give it a try. Service folks are there to shape your experience, be open to letting them do their job.

6. Permission. It was terrifying at first, but we got used to asking for permission to speak English. Like I said, we really didn’t know any French. So invariably, someone would bring our meals and rattle off what they were serving and we didn’t have a clue what they were saying. It took a few bungled requests but eventually, I would say “Do you speak English?” Of course they did. They ALL did. We watched one Maiter D’ go from one table and speak Spanish, another and speak French and then, ask us if we enjoyed our meal. Flawless. I am humbled by their outstanding service and their ability to effortlessly switch from one language to another (and they didn’t even need an app…which by the way we did to help translate). Ask for permission.

In every trip I have ever taken, it’s always been about the food. My memories are wrapped up in the flawless croissant and succulent Canard A ‘la Orange prepared table side. I’ll always remember it. Let the food be the mile posts in your memory and help you embrace a different language and culture.

Constantly Overwhelmed? Adrenaline Drag? 6 Steps to Making Easier Choices.

On August 17, 2014August 4, 2014 By Cathy NoiceIn Workplace NavigatorLeave a comment

The double edged sword of today’s society is that we have so much to choose from but we have so much to choose from. It can be overwhelming; Even selecting something as “simple” as peanut butter can end up being a 5 minute dilemma in the middle of the grocery isle. Hmmm. Extra chunky, chunky or smooth? Jif, Skippy, Peter Pan or store brand? Natural (are there really fake peanuts out there?), low sugar, low sodium? Extra-large container or individual travel size? And then there is the intended audience;my son likes the smooth stuff, I like the extra chunky and my husband doesn’t care. And just to really mix it up, what if this is for a Thai recipe that calls for organic peanut butter? Maybe I should just buy one of each and head home before even thinking about jelly. I think we often actually do this, let ourselves feel defeated and default to the simplest solution.

This is just one decision in a multitude of thousands that takes place in a grocery story every day. It can create or tap into feeling overwhelmed.

Think of all the marketing and/or product development professionals engage in trying to come up with a new candy bar, car or vacation destination to catch your attention. It’s almost like they get paid to overwhelm you because, I guess, they do!

It’s their job to somehow convince you to “Try Me! Try Me!” In Barry Schwartz’s book, Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less, he breaks folks down into two groups, Maximizers (a perfectionist who wants to look at every available option to make sure they make the absolute best choice) and Satisficers (people who will settle on something that meets a certain threshold). There is a quiz available to decide which way you lean with the following link by Nick Reese. Most of us probably already know which way you lean. But Schwartz claims that the Maximizers have a lot more anxiety and the Satisficers have less anxiety and perhaps are a bit happier and less overwhelmed.

So how do you step back from being overwhelmed and make decisions for quickly and painlessly? Here are some ideas:

1. Limit. Limit the decisions that you have to make. President Obama only has gray and blue suits. He’s not standing (I imagine) staring in his closet trying to figure out what he’s going to wear. I have five pairs of black slacks. I eat the same breakfast every week day. If you can limit the amount of choices, you save some gray matter for the more important decisions. If it’s not critical or life altering, eliminate the decision.

2. Criteria. Understand your criteria before making a decision. I’ve used this when coaching clients. Write down four or five criteria and then across the top of the page put the various options. So let’s take my decision for where to run my first marathon. Look at the criteria and options below with a scale of 1-10 (10 being the best) for each criterion:

	Richmond	Rock’n Roll Raleigh	Disney World
Flat	2	1	10
Fun	8	7	10
First timer friendly	7	8	10
Travel	5	9	1
Total	22	25	31

So based on my criteria, you can see what my decision was. You can do this with anything but because it takes a little bit of time, only use it on more important decisions. Set up your criteria.

4. Restrict Options. Whenever possible restrict the options you have. So if you want to decide which restaurant to go to, limit it by driving distance or type of cuisine or cost. I now realize why I would drive my family nuts by throwing out ten different restaurant option – sushi? pizza? steak? seafood? fast food? BBQ? Chinese? Peruvian? My children would roll their eyes and groan. If I had said, “Sushi or Pizza?”; everyone would have been so much happier. So when you can, restrict the options you are considering to reduce anxiety for everyone involved.

5. Let Go. Let go of perfection. I can assure you that your neighbors will never know that you spent 3 days of intense research to decide on the lawnmower you bought. Agonizing over big ticket items can eventually cause regret. If perfection is the measuring stick you’re never going to get there, ever, really. The more features you research, the more regret you will have after the fact. If you let go and make a quick decision, the time is not vested, you’re not aware that you could have gotten three bells and whistles that you didn’t consider. Sometimes the less you know; the better. Let go.

6. Hangry. Don’t make decision (if you can help it) when hangry (hungry and angry). My daughter can read my hangry radar instantly. “Mommy, are you hungry?” Grab a snack. When I am hungry, I am on edge, impulsive and not at my best. If you are a little sleep deprived, hungry, on edge from a meeting that didn’t go so well;wait to make a more weighty decision and never, ever, go to the grocery store hungry. You will buy half the candy and snack aisle – what’s wrong with a 2 pound bag of Peanut M&M’s and Junior Mints? Your willpower and decision making power is limited so make sure you aren’t hangry.

There are things that need some research. College, careers, cars, health, homes and significant others come to mind. There may be more but some of these steps can work to reduce the options or at least reduce the “Buyer’s Remorse” that Maximizers tend to go through. Relax. Be clear on your criteria and limit the options. Escape the State of being Overwhelmed.

Your Kingdom, My Kingdom. Aren’t We All Sovereign?

On August 10, 2014August 5, 2014 By Cathy NoiceIn Workplace NavigatorLeave a comment

SOVEREIGN (noun)

a: one possessing or held to possess supreme political power or sovereignty

b: one that exercises supreme authority within a limited sphere

c: an acknowledged leader : arbiter

Each of us is sovereign.

I learned this concept from a great coach I know, Alysia Vrolyk. I think this is completely applicable to all sorts of areas of your life (and of course mine). It’s probably most applicable if you have a teenage son, are in a committed relationship, work with others or are a coach. So if you are a hermit? Not so much. But if you aren’t; pay attention. You have supreme power over you. I am the acknowledged leader of me. I can love you or lead you or teach you but it is only you who decides what to do with what I give you. Sovereign.

The best illustration or example of this is the first time a teenage child gets behind the wheel and drives off without any co-pilot…without their mom to tell them to slow down or turn the iPod down. It’s terrifying but true; they are now officially sovereign. Whether that car (and its contents) returns to the driveway is completely and utterly up to that child behind the wheel and all the other sovereigns out there on the road. I have to say I wish I had this concept when my kids were looking at colleges. It’s not up to me, or their guidance counselor or their best friend. The decision of what school is completely up to my sovereign child.

So how do you incorporate a little sovereignty into your life? Here are some tips:

No meddling. Do not meddle in other sovereigns unless you are invited to a détente. So if I’ve started a new exercise regime and I think it would be an awesome idea if my significant other would do the same….stop. If I think the Vice President of Operations should make her whole crew work every weekend until the backlog is gone…stop. If I think the client’s goal should be to get a promotion instead of feeling confident in their industry knowledge…stop. Respect the authority of others to make their own decisions. If you have not been invited to meddle, don’t.

Detach from the outcome. I wrote recently that my daughter had to decide between three jobs. One of them would have left her in NYC and the other two brought her back home to North Carolina. I could not get attached to any outcome. All three jobs had their pros and cons but if I was excessively attached (like calling every day to find out how job prospect B was coming or constantly talking up prospect B), she would not have ultimately been able to make her own decision. I would have been way too invested in one outcome over another and…she would have resented my opinion Detach from the outcome.

The gift you bring is your presence. Just because they are their own sovereigns does not mean you can’t be present. In the anguishing weeks where my daughter had to decide where she wanted to be this Fall, we talked several times on the phone. I was present. I listened. She played through the scenarios. She made decisions. I was a sounding board. I wasn’t there to sell her on what I wanted. I was there to let her think things through. It’s the same with clients working through a dilemma. I am present and ask the questions that help them do their own best thinking. You don’t know what you don’t know until you know. Only a sovereign can know what they really want. Sit back and be present.

No sweat. The great facilitator Paul McGinniss uses this phrase when modeling the coaching dialogue and the client hasn’t taken a step they planned. This happens all the time when a client doesn’t do the action they said they wanted to. They didn’t start… exercising, studying for the exam, standing up to their boss, having a meeting with their team. No sweat. Is it still important to you? What would make you feel like you are moving forward on this goal? They are their own sovereign. Let them decide the direction they want to go. You aren’t there for accountability; you are there for reflection and re-framing. Don’t sweat it.

You need to respect your own sovereignty. Don’t lose yourself in giving your time and presence to others. Don’t change the borders of your sovereign just because your neighbor asks. This is not a time to let folks roll over you. Keep the moat filled, the drawbridge in working order and your crown shined up. Don’t diminish your own self-respect. It is great to respect someone else’s space as long as they don’t tread on yours. Keep your back bone and self-respect.

When you grant other’s sovereignty, it’s freeing. You are no longer trying to be a backseat driver for everyone else. You have control of your steering wheel; if someone else fails, let it be. They are on their journey and you are on yours. Accepting that everyone has their own sovereignty untangles the expectations so that we are free to make decisions for ourselves and no one else.

Hummingbird Wars. 5 Steps to Sharing Resources in Your Organization.

On August 3, 2014August 3, 2014 By Cathy NoiceIn Workplace NavigatorLeave a comment

Our hummingbird feeder was empty for a few days…er weeks. Once refilled, my husband and I have noticed this massive war going on over the feeder. And I do mean war: One bird dive bombing another, rapid retreats, eating while staying vigilant for the enemy, lonely patrols, even dogfights with pointed beaks. I have to say that having breakfast at the table while I watch these skirmishes going on outside the window has become quite stressful. What is crazy is that there is PLENTY of nectar in the feeder to go around and three separate perches by which to partake. There is more than enough to go around, plenty for all.

This reminds me of some organizations that I have worked for in the past. There are loads of resources, including the human kind, but everyone is running around drawing up battle lines. I can remember an executive who suggested we share a few admins. Cross train a few folks across departments so that we could cover illnesses, lunch breaks and vacations more easily. No one liked it. Silence. Everyone wanted to make sure their team stayed with their team and not cross to the “other side”. Let’s have four humans where, if we could cross train and utilize them more efficiently, we could use two. It’s like that hummingbird guarding the feeder. It’s mine…ALL mine even though he doesn’t need all those resources.

So how do you get folks to share the nectar? Here are some ideas:

1. Benefits. Clearly state the benefits for all. Email it. Have a meeting. Have a round table. Have a family meeting. Get the information out there. There’s more than enough nectar in the feeder and we can all get our sip. If we all wait our turn we will reduce costs, have less turnover and build trust. Explain the rationale so that everyone can understand (I’m not saying they will all get on board immediately) but it’s a little easier to swallow the new “stapler sharing policy” if they understand the potential benefits. Communicate the benefits; for the group as well as the individuals.

2. Sounding Board. Make sure there is a sounding board for dissenting views. This is where it gets uncomfortable. “But hey…Cath…I don’t want to hear dissenting views…I want them all to smile and nod.” Sorry. If you want folks to buy into the new procedure, you are going to have to hear them out. They might have a good point. Or some irrational fear that needs to be addressed. I know those hummingbirds must have some irrational fear. I’m not saying that there are good soldiers out there that will happily (er…grudgingly) comply with the new “stapler sharing policy” but the new plan will have a much better chance of success if you hear them out through a sounding board.

3. Address. Make sure you address the concerns before moving forward. There is nothing worse than asking the folks at large for some feedback and then not responding. So many organizations have one way communication and it’s all down. Nothing is permitted to bubble up. When I used to work in the tortilla manufacturing business, I used to say that no one knows the issues with packing tortillas better than the ladies (yes, it was 100% female) who pack the tortillas. If you spend all day packing tortillas you have much better ideas on how to fix quality or productivity issues than any engineer. So make sure you address the humans concerns. And, just as with the sounding board make sure you’re not just nodding and listening. If there are good ideas, incorporate them into the plan.

4. Re-engineer. Take the feedback and re-engineer the process, procedure or new policy. Information that bubbles up from the folks with their hands on the tortillas. I remember walking out on the production floor and you would see one line that had a stack of tortillas several feet high. All you had to do was ask the now small crowd of ladies what was wrong. They always knew exactly what was wrong…the temperature on the press was too high, the masa was too moist, the operator (on the other end of the line) was new. I can assure you that calling an engineer in Dallas was not going to fix our growing mountain of tortillas as fast as asking the folks up to their elbows in them. Take the feedback, the ideas, the concerns, the irrational fears and address them in the re-engineering effort.

5. Roll. Roll with it. After re-engineering it, roll it out. Make the decision. Pull the switch. There is nothing worse than saying you are rolling out a new process and then letting it languish; especially if you have received some poor feedback. Obviously, if the new procedure now seems obsolete like say a new “stapler sharing policy” when the folks point out that we are paperless now and there is no need to share staplers. Make sure that you communicate that the department or company has abandoned the plan because “we heard you”. This is what builds trust in an organization. When the bosses communicate, listen and then make a decision based on feedback from the folks with their boots on the ground the culture changes and trust is built. Roll with it or pull the plug….just make sure you communicate it.

I think the biggest issue with companies is one way communication. I know it can be difficult if whoever you report to is the main culprit but if you supervise other folks or lead a team or parent? It all starts with you. Set the example. It will have ripple effects and the trust will grow.

The Butterfly Effect. One Small Change Can Have an Impact. The Ripple of a Wing

On July 27, 2014July 27, 2014 By Cathy NoiceIn Workplace Navigator2 Comments

In case you are not familiar, the Butterfly Effect was coined by Edward Lorenz when he found that while trying to predict a hurricane’s path; he inadvertently rounded the decimal on a weather model and the outcome was vastly different than it would have been otherwise. This became termed chaos theory and equates with outcomes being influenced by minor fluctuations such as the flapping of wings of a distant butterfly at an earlier time, affecting current occurrences. This eventually turned into “if a butterfly flaps it’s wings in Brazil it could set off a tornado in Texas.” I prefer to think that the flip side of this is that if a small change is made by one person, the impact could potentially change a community and be like a wave gathering strength.

I have a client who is training for an ultra-marathon (any distance over 26.2 miles). For the last year he has been running and biking in his neighborhood, sometimes by himself and at other times with his young daughter. In the last month or so he’s begun to notice that there are a lot more folks who are either running, walking or riding bikes. In addition, people he doesn’t even know have been coming up to him and saying, “Oh you are that guy that runs”. Small change. Big impact. There’s no way to know if he’s the cause of the increase in exercise in his neighborhood but it seems like it might be and it sure didn’t hurt.

So how can you have an resounding impact? What butterfly are you? Here are some ideas:

More. Always, always, always phrase whatever change you want to make as doing “more” of something. It’s just easier to measure doing more of something rather than less of something. So if you want to lose weight, say to yourself that you want to be more physically fit. If you want to be less shy, say to yourself that you want to be more self-assured. It’s the same thing when you are reprimanding an employee or writing a performance evaluation, phrase it in a way where it’s more. Like, “Suzy could be more accurate (instead of less sloppy)”. Suzy can then measure her effectiveness by being 99% accurate (instead of less than 5 errors). Always phrase it in terms of being/doing more.

The 20 Second Rule. Have whatever change you want to make be just 20 seconds away (or less). Shawn Achor wrote about this in “The Happiness Advantage”. All my running garb is in the same location and is twenty seconds away from my sink where I brush my teeth. I know I’m going to brush my teeth when I wake up, so it’s easy for me to put on my running stuff first thing in the morning and start running; no excuses. Make a path of least resistance. If you need to get that expense report done, put it on your chair so it’s the first thing you see when you come into work. Leave the document you are working on open on your desk top so that it is visually the first thing before you start any other project. Follow the 20 second rule.

Small. Start small. I recently started doing Yoga again. I knew if I did more than ten minutes the first time out, I would be way to sore and dejected to want to go back and do it a second time. This is true with anything. When I first started writing this blog, I would write for maybe 10 or 15 minutes at a time. I would never finish it in that time but if I spread it over several days, it was wasn’t a drag and, more importantly, it didn’t seem to be as overwhelming as “I want to write a blog post once a week for ten years”. When I start a new training, I just put an outline together for 15 minutes and then move on to something else. Easy peasy. Take a very, very small step; incremental steps will get you to the same place.

Confederate. Find yourself a confederate. In the book “Change Anything”, they talk about having a source of social motivation. If you want to run a 5k find someone else who wants to run one as well. If you want to save more money, find an accountability partner who wants to save as well. If you want to start your business, join a group of like-minded folks who will support you (especially when things get tough). This is the point of having an accomplice, they lift you up when there are bumps in the road and there will be bumps (if not potholes) in the road. A confederate will keep you on track.

Plan. Make a plan. When I ran my half marathon last year, I had my runs planned out for the entire 4 months leading up to the race. I know I need to have my blog post written before Saturday so that I can get it to my “Brain Trust” for feedback and edits. It’s a habit. It didn’t start off as one. This can be phrased anyway you like. “The day starts at 4:30 AM”. “Exercise 3 times a week (at least once in the morning)”. “Study for 30 minutes a night”. “Spend 15 minutes cleaning the top shelf”. These are all actual action items from different clients. They all phrased it in a way that meant something to them. But they all had a plan.

I spend maybe an hour a week on this blog and most of the time it’s completely out of my mind. But then I run into someone at a party and they say, “I love your blog”. I may not see the end result but it’s having an impact somewhere for someone. In fact, I know someone who signed up for a half marathon and ran it, after my post on crossing the finish line. There is an impact. You may not see it. So just like that butterfly in Brazil, you just need to start flapping your wings.

Embrace Uncertainty. It’s the New Black.

On July 20, 2014July 19, 2014 By Cathy NoiceIn Workplace NavigatorLeave a comment

We sail within a vast sphere, ever drifting in uncertainty, driven from end to end. – Blaise Pascal

Jim Collins is the culprit of a concept; The BHAG [Big Hairy Audacious Goal]. It is the setting of a huge gnarly goal that is set ten or twenty years down the road…and, in theory, the entire company is expected to start paddling in the same direction toward it It turns out, that’s not the best approach.

According to Oliver Burkeman, in his book, The Antidote, “We tend to imagine that the special skill of an entrepreneur lies in having a powerfully original idea and then fighting to turn that vision into reality.” But in a relevant study, entrepreneurs rarely bore this out. Their long-term goal often remained a mystery to them. Overwhelmingly, a goals first approach in one direction was not the ultimate approach taken. I have to say this is quite a relief. I don’t necessarily need to know what my business should look like in 15 years. In fact, I think having a grandiose goal can make you start seeing myopically and suddenly you don’t realize that you are rowing towards a waterfall because you haven’t noticed the current.

A brilliant example in Oliver Burkeman’s book is the fateful day in May of 1996 when 8 climbers perished heading to the summit of Mount Everest. Burkeman posits that the deaths were not due to a storm on the mountain but that 34 climbers from three different groups, American, New Zealand and Taiwan were all headed to the summit at the same time. This caused a bottleneck on Hillary Step which was later referred to as “The Traffic Jam”. Three different parties were headed to the summit and had not arrived at the summit by 2 PM which is the ABSOLUTE latest you need to arrive at the summit before turning around and heading back down. There were climbers headed to the summit well after 3 PM. No one wanted to turn around and fail to achieve their BHAG. They had Summit Fever and eight of them paid with their lives.

So what are we supposed to do? How can we achieve with a manageable perspective? Here are some ideas:

1. Embrace. Embrace uncertainty. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. So much of fear and anxiety is based on uncertainty. But guess what…there is only uncertainty. The more you strive to keep things constant, comfortable, certain, the more uncomfortable you will become; because you will ultimately enforce chaos. You cannot control the future. Even if you happen to be Warren Buffet or Bill Gates. There is no one with their finger on the switch. Businesses fail, accidents happen and deadlines get missed. Stuff happens and it’s not going to stop. Embrace it.

2. Horizon. Make sure you reign in your horizons. I heard an interesting speaker last week and he was pointing out that just some three years ago companies were making 5 year strategic plans…now it’s 6 months. No one can predict what will happen in 12 months let alone 5 years. Forward thinking innovative companies have given up on the 5 or 3 year strategic plan, there are just too many variables in the environment (i.e. innovation, hurricanes, terrorism, etc.) There is no crystal ball. Get through this quarter. Finish the semester. Run the first mile of the marathon. Shorten your horizon.

3. Correct. Make course corrections. Let go of the perfectionism that you planned on paying off your credit cards by 8/1 but you just needed to buy a new transmission. Move it out to 9/1…or 10/1. It’s OK. This happens with clients I coach all the time. In fact, I think every client I have ever coached has had to change something about their goals whether it was the date they wanted it complete, how they were measuring success or if the goal was even reasonable with the current economy. A sailboat doesn’t sail in a straight line, it criss crosses the water finding the most advantageous wind and finally ends up at its destination. Be open to course corrections.

4. Worst Case. What is the worst case scenario? Sometimes we get so wrapped up in trying to be optimistic that we fail to look at the worst case scenario. In the case of Mount Everest, obviously, death became an option. It’s healthy to look at the worst outcome, if at least, to allay your fears. So if you are giving a presentation, perhaps the worst that can happen is that the audience laughs at you and you are embarrassed. Painful but not life threatening. You fall short on revenue, so you need to dig into your savings. You don’t get your first choice job (or college, car, house, partner) there is always another option. Examining what can go wrong will help you move forward, forewarned and forearmed. Look at the worst case.

5. Goal Odyssey. Burkeman suggests that everyone on the mountain that fateful day was focusing their resources on the goal much like Homer in the Odyssey. There was no turning back, and every resource was used to achieve the goal. Leaders need to be open to information that runs counter to the end result. If we have an audacious goal for revenue but we have high turnover (employees leaving) or poor customer service ratings…we need to take a second look at the goal. We have to be open to changing the end result based on the feedback we get along the way. This also means we need to be open to feedback. If everyone is smiling and nodding…you probably aren’t receiving all the information you need. Make sure you have someone (spouse, assistant or co-worker) who is willing to speak up and let you know there aren’t enough oxygen bottles to make it to the top and back. Give up the goal odyssey.

6. Outcome. You need to let go of the outcome. My daughter has been in the middle of three different directions in her career this week. Two options involve moving back to North Carolina. The third involves staying in New York City in a job that is completely in alignment with her career goals. I have been struggling with uncertainty and letting go of the outcome for the last ten days. She, on the other hand, is completely open and flexible. The anticipation of the outcome is unbearable. I just need to sit back and let it happen. Whatever “it” is. Let it go. What will be will be. Let go of the outcome.

I’ve worked with leaders who were completely inflexible on the revenue or the cost of goods sold target. One of the caveats of any SMART goal is the “A” for attainable. If there are changes in the environment that make the goal unattainable…change it. There is nothing more demoralizing than not being able to attain the yearlong goal you are working on. It’s not motivating folks, it’s destroying their morale. Embrace uncertainty. It’s the new black.