Category: Workplace Navigator

Should I Stay or Should I Go? The Case for Leaving.

On By Cathy NoiceIn Workplace NavigatorLeave a comment

In last week’s post, I made the case for staying at your current job.  This week, I’m looking at case for leaving, jumping ship as it were.  As a study by Assochom revealed, “About 70 percent of [survey] respondents said that employees who quit their jobs complain about the indifferent attitude of their bosses or immediate supervisor.”  I’ve left several jobs because I just couldn’t stand my boss.  I didn’t find an indifferent attitude as the cause of my dismay as much as either poor ethics or micro management (the opposite of indifference?). Should I Stay or Should I Go. The Case for Leaving.

I would venture to say that another cause  is culture.  The  culture of a Company  is something that morphs over time.   When you came on board, they were really family friendly and then two CEOs later, you feel guilty for asking to leave early for a PTA meeting.   One or two changes in senior positions can change the culture of the company to make it more unpalatable for the folks in the trenches.   I remember an incident when I was in Human Resources and the Company would not terminate a manager who had falsified time card records for a friend.  Turning a blind eye to this was not something I could tolerate.  I had to leave.  That incident had changed the culture of the organization in such a way, that I could not stay.

So here are some reasons to leave:

1. Poor Business Ethics.   When I went looking for a new position after the timecard falsifying incident  and a potential employer asked me why I was looking, I would say “Poor business ethics”.  End of story.  You don’t need to bash your current organization; you don’t need to dig out all the dirty details, that’s just not necessary.   Most of us have been around the block and it’s a valid, if not compelling, reason to leave.

2. Get Off the Sinking Ship.  Depending on your position in the company, you usually can see when the ship is not moving forward any longer.  It may be my years in the restaurant industry, which is notorious for high failure rates but once a paycheck bounces, look for that door.  Update your resume.  Hit the pavement.  When creditors are always calling or accounts payable (money owed to other folks) is over 90 days?  Call your friendly head hunter.

3. You’re Losing Your Soul.  If the mission of the company doesn’t match your values, it may be time to start looking for greener pastures.   There was a time a few years ago when I had to lay off employees who had worked for the company for more than 15 years.   It was killing me inside.  I knew it wasn’t my decision and that it had a “business purpose” but I have to say I wanted to walk.  At the end of the day, you have live with yourself and no job is worth giving up your values.  If you are losing your soul, it’s probably time to leave.

4. An Offer You Can’t Refuse.  This is one of the best reasons to leave.  Someone offers you so much money, or time off, or world travel or autonomy and independence…that you can’t refuse?  It might be scary, or stretching your comfort zone or require moving your whole family, but if it feeds your soul? Take it.  I applied for a job a few years back at a highly acclaimed university.  My family was worried that I would be moving.  I never got past the application stage, but I can assure you, that if I had the offer, I would have taken it. There are some situations which are worth turning your life upside down over.

5. Personal Obligations.  This is the reason I left the hospitality industry.  Somewhere back when I was in my late teens  I decided that I love the hospitality industry.  I loved working and serving folks on Friday and Saturday nights.  I loved providing a great experience for patrons of the establishments I worked for or owned.  By the time I was in my thirties, I had two small kids and suddenly working weekends wasn’t so much fun and, was now, a burden.   Your obligations in your life change.  So will your career.

6. Go With Your Gut.  There may not be an apparent reason why you should leave.  Sometimes the Kool-Aid you used to love, suddenly tastes funky for no reason.  It’s like the job I left over timecards.  I found out years later that the manager I wanted to be gone was blackmailing someone in a position of power in the company.  I intuitively knew there was a reason to leave, and I did. I never looked back.

7. Too Much Baggage.  Sometimes you know too much.  You know where all the bodies are buried, all the skeletons and all the missteps of the past.  Sometimes you just can’t do the heavy lifting anymore.  Sometimes it best to not be the last person to turn off the light and lock up the place.  If you can’t find a way to let go and you are waking up at 4 in the morning unpacking that baggage,  it’s time to go.

8. There is No Moon.  Your new opportunity promised you the moon and, after a year, you discover there is no moon.  The job was not as advertised and now you are languishing in a career that is taking you in the wrong direction.  There are parts of your grey matter that are fading away from lack of use.  Time to get your groove back and move on.

It’s cliché to say that when one door closes, another one opens but it’s so true.  There are times when it’s best open the next door.

Should I Stay or Should I Go? The Case for Staying.

On By Cathy NoiceIn Workplace Navigator4 Comments

Should I stay or should I go?  There are a plenty of reasons to leave a job.  You don’t like your boss. The company is floundering.  You can’t stand the person in the cube next to you.  In fact, your brain is always looking for danger; the fight or flight response.  It’s really easy to make the case that you should move on, because your brain is wired that way.  Let’s look at all the reasons why you should stay. should I stay or should I go

1. The Devil You Know – Any new job is a giant unknown. Even if you are returning to a position you held in the past, it’s still an unknown because you don’t know what has changed.  It’s the devil you know versus the devil you don’t.  Even if the parking is lousy with your current job or the commute is brutal; you know it because you’ve lived it. If your boss is a jerk on Monday mornings or your email crashes every Tuesday, you know it.  Knowledge is power. 

Have you ever seen the new college graduate employee walk into their first day on the job wearing a jacket and tie?  Right, and it’s dress down week.  All the employees are in polos and jeans and the newbie is sticking out like a sore thumb.  Do you really want to be that guy?  I don’t think so. 

2. Benefits. I can hear the folks under 30 groaning.  Why care about benefits?  I’m not sick.   Maybe it’s my 7 plus years in the insurance industry or my 20 plus years in Human Resources but you just never know what tomorrow is going to bring.  The main thing is to make an accounting of your current benefits and what it will cost to replace them in your next position. Sometimes we take if for granted that every company offers the same benefit package. Make sure you know the numbers.  And maybe even be grateful, if your current employer is generous with their benefits.  You should view your benefits as part of your income.  Trust me, without them you’ll be paying out of your pocket.

3. You Know Where the Landmines are. There is personal information that you stubble on over time.  Your boss’s child has cerebral palsy, your co-workers son just came out of the closet, and the customer service rep’s wife is a drug addict.  This is not obvious stuff and it’s not like it should matter in the workplace but it shows up when you least expect it.  My kid’s are Hispanic.  I am not.  It is not obvious from the pictures on my desk.   If someone lumps all Hispanics into being Mexican and derides them,  my skin crawls and my opinion of the offender changes dramatically.  There are social landmines within every company and the longer you’ve been somewhere, the more you know.  There are pluses and minuses with this. 

4. Your Resume Looks Better. This is why it’s a good idea to stick it out.  One more month at your current employer is one more month on your resume.  I know that the statistics from the Society of Human Resource Management say that 61% of resumes have inaccuracies on them but don’t cover up gaps.  Any company that you want to work for is going to do some fact checking.  Be honest.  Don’t jump the ship you are  on until another one comes along.  If your current job is overwhelming, see if you can take a step down, back, get help or work part time; anything to avoid that gap in employment.  If you are being laid off, then start volunteering at Habitat for Humanity, Meals on Wheels, the Boys and Girls Club, the local community college’s literacy program.   The last thing you want to do is look like you are on the couch or watching YouTube all day. 

5. It’s Easier to Add Skills. Get on a new project team.  I had a Plant Manager years ago who asked me to lead a group around the book, “Discipline without Punishment” by Dick Grote.  It was a great idea.  It’s true that it fit the organization for the Human Resource Manager to lead the team but it gave me a perspective from all aspects of the plant and we did a great job implementing the ideas in the book.  If you can get on a new or existing team, raise your hand high.  Step up and do the things that scare you.

6. Achievements are Easier on the Home Turf. This is similar to school sports.  It’s easier to win on the home field.  You know where all the divots in the field are.  The folks in the stands are  rooting for you.  It’s just easier to succeed in the space you know.  It’s also easier to slam the football down in the backfield and dance.   The crowd around you knows you.  They expect you to understand the impact of your accomplishments. 

This also could be a good way to decide that you want to stick it out in your current situation.  Cool your jets so to speak.  Maybe your job isn’t as bad as you thought it was. Maybe you should start taking advantage of the resources around you.  Regardless, it’s food for thought.

S.P.E.L.L. it Out. 6 Ways to Set Expectations.

On By Cathy NoiceIn Workplace NavigatorLeave a comment

Spelling out expectations is so critical in all aspects of life; like when you have a new employee, when your child cleans their room and, even when we start on a new project.  If you don’t spell out the expectations, it will, at the very least be frustrating and at its worst, an epic fail.  I see this step being skipped constantly.  Why bother?  Shouldn’t your child know what the expectations for a clean room are?  Didn’t we hire that employee because they were the most qualified for the job?  Haven’t you accomplished other projects?  You will be doomed for disappointment without clarifying expectations.

I can imagine that if we did a poll of one hundred parents about their expectations for room cleanliness that we would find at least 80 different sets of expectations (this assumes that some of those poled are married and have already had a few grumbles about room cleanliness and, therefore, have the same expectations).  The point is, you cannot assume that we would all agree about what a clean bedroom is.  And we certainly cannot assume that your child has the same standards.

Your child gets grounded because they didn’t realize that stuffing all the toys under the bed does not mean “clean”.  You’re disappointed in the home improvement project because you didn’t realize that fixtures you really wanted were five times more expensive.

So how do you avoid the tendency to think that everyone knows your expectations through osmosis and get down to the nitty gritty before you send that new employee off into battlefield of ambiguous work standards?  Here are a few steps.

1. Reflect. What do you want?  What does the perfect outcome look like?  You need to be clear with yourself and/or the team before you set your new employee a drift.  Why did we have to hire someone new?  Did the last customer service rep go down in flames because he didn’t know that the schedule was completely inflexible?    As they say, history tends to repeat, so reflect on what went wrong (or right) the last time.

2. Anticipate. When I send my husband to the grocery store for milk, you might think that is a very basic, simple item for him to purchase.  Well, it isn’t.  I need to anticipate who will be opening that refrigerator door for the next seven days.  If it’s my daughter, it better be soy milk.  If it’s my son, it better be organic skim milk.  If my husband is the intended user, it better be 2% lactose free milk.  Simple item.  Complex expectations.

3. List. It’s a good idea to have a list; whether it be a written checklist, employee manual or just a short mental checklist. “Benson”, that’s my son, “a clean room means clean clothes hung up or folded and put away, the bed being made and no items on the floor”.  In my days as a Sizzler restaurant owner, we had a pre-meal checklist for each meal period.  It was important that even the temperature ranges for the food was spelled out.  Soup < 145 degrees.

4. Engage.  Have a conversation.  It might even be a lecture.  But explain your list.  As in, the soup needs to be over 145 degrees because we don’t want anyone getting sick.  The bed needs to be made because we are having visitors this weekend.  We need personal phone calls kept to a minimum because we have a limited amount of incoming phone lines.  Explain the rationale.  It makes for more buy in.

5. Clarify.  There may be a deadline.  There might be a budget.  There may be other resources.  If the grandparents are arriving at 6 PM, this might be important information when my husband heads out for milk at 5 PM.  The new employee might want to know who else on the team has done this job so they have them as a crutch.  S.P.E.L.L. it all out.

6. Rinse and Repeat. Unfortunately, this is not a one shot deal.  It can be time consuming and tedious.  It was obvious which Sizzler restaurant was not using its pre-meal checklist.  And it usually translated into lower sales.  The customers had expectations.

Take the time and energy to S.P.E.L.L. out your expectations.  It will save you frustration, time and energy.  It will also keep your relationships on a higher plane.  Those around you will appreciate knowing what to expect.

What would you do?

Are You Wearing Armor All Day?

On By Cathy NoiceIn Workplace Navigator2 Comments

I’ve been listening to Brené Brown‘s  “Power of Vulnerability” for the last few days.  One of the things she talks about is “wearing armor” or suiting up everyday to keep everyone (and I mean everyone) at arm’s length.  I loved it when she compares “suiting up with armor” to putting on Spanx.  I don’t know if you have ever put on Spanx but I’ve attempted it once…or maybe twice and it is an ordeal.  Trust me, it was worse than trying to zip up my Sassoon jeans while lying on a bed gasping for air when I was 15.  So this analogy really hits home.  Duke-of-Burgundy-Suit-Of-Armor-Headshot

It also reminds me of putting on my New York attitude when I was in the big Apple earlier this summer.  You put your sunglasses on, take off your smile and stomp down the street.  That cold “leave me the hell alone” look so that people don’t ask for money and you can stay on your trajectory on the sidewalk with no interruptions or course corrections from anyone.  It’s exhausting.   The antidote is vulnerability.  So how do you lose the armor? 

Here are some tips:

1.  Moment.  Instead of shutting everything out, you need to be present in the moment.  Author Olivia Fox Cabane recommends feeling your toes.  Feeling your toes brings you awareness of the moment.  I remember breaking my arm when I was thirteen.  I remember every moment, smell, sight and taste of the experience of the emergency room.  When you are really in touch with your body, you are really in the moment.  Don’t bother to break your arm, just stay in touch with your toes and you will be in the moment.

2. Eyes.  Notice the color of people’s eyes.  When you are listening to your child, your  client or your spouse, look for the little flecks of color in their eyes. But as Drake Baer wrote in Fast Company, “The Goldilocks of eye contact comes in two flavors: If you’re in a one-on-one setting, hold eye contact for 7 to 10 seconds; while if you’re in a group, shorten that to 3 to 5 seconds.” If you aren’t making eye contact you come across (intentionally or not) as untrustworthy.  So don’t give them an eye exam. and when walking the streets of Manhattan, take off the shades and connect.  Look into their eyes.

3.  Perspective.  When listening to your partner or boss, try and focus on their perspective.  This is not the time to chime in with how you got stuck in traffic for two hours and “please feel sorry for me” rebuttal.  Stay focused on their “story” regardless if you feel like they are viewing from a skewed perspective.  Feel their perspective and embrace it.  This is not the time to fight it.  Regardless of the “lens” you are looking through it’s not their “lens”.  As David Rock says, no two brains are alike, and whatever their viewpoint is, it is what it is.  Accept the other person’s perspective.

4. Nix sympathy.  Don’t respond with sympathy.  I initially found this difficult to comprehend.  As Brené says in her CD, when you empathize you get into the hole with your friend and help them back out, when you sympathize, you stand at the edge of the hole, stare down at your friend and say you are sorry they are in the hole.  Essentially, sympathizing let’s you raise your self above the person and let them wallow in the suffering.  I think there is a place for sympathy (i.e. funerals) but if you want to really help your friend that just got dumped by her boyfriend, it’s not the time for sympathy.

5. Respond.  Instead of sympathy, respond with empathy.  The easiest way to do this is to label the other person’s feelings.  “I can see you are upset that your boyfriend dumped you”.  “You are obviously frustrated that you had to cancel the meeting”. Labeling works from a brain perspective in that it clarifies  what you heard and lets them know whether or not you got it right.  They might respond, “I’m not frustrated; I’m angry”.  But it makes sure you are on the same page.  You have identified with their perspective and you’ve been open enough to “label” the feeling.  Respond to the feeling with empathy.

Being more present and vulnerable is work.  It’s not easy.  Take one step at a time.  You will get there.  Eventually, you will be able to leave your armor at home.

What are you guarding against?

 

Interrupters Anonymous.

On By Cathy NoiceIn Workplace NavigatorLeave a comment

This is really hard to write about.  I’m Cathy Graham.  I’m an interrupter.  It’s been 3 hours since my last interruption.  So you other interrupter’s out there are saying, so what?  I’m sure you have something important to say.  What’s the big deal?

It is a big deal.  It shuts the door.  It says that my idea or thought or rebuttal is more important than your idea or thought.  I am not saying that I am the only guilty party.  We are a society of interrupters.  Every good political debate, decent reality show and “60 Minutes” investigation usually involves someone interrupting someone else.  Shame on all of us.

Some of you aren’t interrupters.  Thank you. Thank you for your patience and forgiveness.  For the rest of us those who will admit we have a problem let me give you a few pointers on how to get over to the other side.

1. Listen.  I know I’ve written about this before but it cannot be over stated.  Actively listen and quit letting your mind wander into the war zone of rebuttals and/or watching the clock so that you can pretend that you are really listening.  Hmmm.  I’ve let my co-worker talk for at least 2 minutes, so now is my time to jump in.  Stop.  Turn on all receptors.

2. Digest.  Take in the conversation or discussion.  If this is a team meeting, take it all in.  Try and get the whole picture of the other participants’ viewpoint. Is your teammate telling you he can’t get the project done; or just not done in the parameters that the team wanted?  Or by the deadline he initially agreed to?  Take in every detail.  Knowing all the details will help you in the end and the rest of the team will be impressed with your knowledge of the facts and details (pretty cool, huh?).

3. Suspend.  Stay far away from making assumptions.  This is dangerous territory.  If you are assuming then you are not digesting.  There is no way possible for you to read someone else’s mind.  You might have a good guess as to someone else’s motivation but you can’t know for sure.  Your boss might have shot this idea down ten times before but assuming she is shooting you down now puts you on the defensive and lights the match for interrupting.  Suspend all your beliefs and assumptions.  Really.

4. Pause.  As in, wait a cotton pickin’ minute.  OK, maybe not a minute, but wait 5 seconds.  Let there be a little air in the room.  Let everyone take a breath.  Don’t be waiting at the ready to rebut and/or shoot down whatever idea has just been floated.  Pause and take a breath.  And if someone else jumps in, this is your opportunity to learn patience (not my strong suit…this is where I struggle).  Engage in listening mode and bite your tongue.

5. Unselfish. It’s all about them.  Unless this is your wedding day, Eagle Scout induction or your retirement lunch, this is always about them.  Them, as in, everyone else in the room; your teenage daughter, your boss, your coworker, the soccer team or the class.  If you keep them as your focus, you slowly eliminate the amount of interrupting you are doing.  If you can keep your focus on them, on their ideas; you will break your habit.

6. Rinse and Repeat.  Just like your shampoo bottle recommends.  Just keep on keeping on.  There will be times when this is irresistible.  Like when someone tries to instruct me that Napa Valley has the best Zinfandels.  I need to just smile and listen patiently and choke the words back that want to spew forth.  Let them have their peace.  Let them impart their knowledge.  When a manager tries to explain a labor law that I know intimately as well as the latest regulations I  smile and let them have their due.  I’m not going to say that I won’t say anything.  But if they ask?  Sonoma Valley Old Vine is the best, in my humble opinion.  But what do you gain by interrupting to bestow that fact. Unless you’re tasting wines or buying a winery, let them have their way.

I find this to be especially effective with hot button issues like politics, religion and most sporting events (my college Alma Mater is worth interrupting for).  I will say that when I listen patiently, smile and acknowledge others in a heated debate or team discussion, it really improves your reputation.  People gravitate to the person who listens rather than tries to interrupt.  So if you have the habit, acknowledge it and start working on it.  You will be on your way to being a social magnate.

I am Intelligent and Witty. Blind Spots and the Johari Window

On By Cathy NoiceIn Workplace Navigator2 Comments

I’ve been working on a coaching certification for the last 5 months and the class work last week involved the Johari Window.  The Johari Window is an instrument developed by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham and it helps you understand the way you view yourself and how others view you (or don’t).  It has 56 adjectives and if you’d like to try, take this link.  So our assignment last week was to coach a class mate through the Johari Window and my class mate, Stephen Starkey, coached me. blind spot 3

Blind spots on the Johari Window are those adjectives that others selected to describe you but that you did not select.  Of the friends and family that participated, the majority chose intelligent and witty to describe me.  I was taken a back by this and my coach, Steve, helped me uncover why.  Although I think I’m smart and that I can be witty, I don’t really own it.  It’s OK for me to describe someone else with those adjectives but it seems egotistical to own them myself.  Wow.  Was that a breakthrough!  I’m thinking it’s OK for me to describe others as intelligent but I can’t embrace it myself.  How is that holding me back?

This brings up a recent book I read by Sheryl Sandberg called “Lean In”.  She describes how women hold themselves back and offers advice on how to “lean in”. I can remember being in the top of my class in elementary school and then, suddenly, flicking the switch.  Smart girls (intelligent girls) weren’t valued.  At least from my skewed eleven year old female perspective.  Time to lean into and recognize my attributes.

If you think your blind spots are holding you back, let’s look at some ways to embrace them:

1. Own.  The first thing I did was set up an action item to own the words.  My action item was to incorporate the words into my daily meditation.  You might need to incorporate them into your daily prayers, affirmations or gratitude at the end of the day.  You can’t live the words unless you own them.  Obviously, others already know you own them so it’s time for you  to pick them up and carry them around.

2. Utilize.  So start using them.  If one of your adjectives in your blind spot is “happy”, then go out and “be happy”.  Live it so that you feel it.  Smile to yourself in the mirror.  Don’t forget, it’s you that you need to prove this to.  Most others already know that you are “happy”. Utilize the adjective so that it comes alive in you.

3. Free.  Set it free.  I have to say I found this to be quite empowering since acknowledging these two blind spots.  Suddenly it’s not as hard to write or develop a solution to a problem.  I’m saying to myself, “Cathy, you’re intelligent and witty, writing a blog post shouldn’t be that hard…pssssht.”  Like I said, it’s like a road block as been removed.  Now I am free.

4. Get over it.  I have to say I was terrified to write this post.  I initially felt like an egomaniac to actually put those two words out there.  I can’t embrace it unless I “get over it”.  Everyone out there has attributes and it’s obvious to everyone else that you are “happy, compassionate and adaptable”.  Get over it, they already see it. You’re not an ego maniac (yeah, it’s not one of the adjectives available).

5. Live.  Live your acknowledged adjectives.  Keep them alive and depend on them going forward.  Don’t forget to make them apart of your everyday life.  This is what you “are”, so live it.  Quit trying to hide your “happiness” or “silly” sense of humor.   There is a reason you were gifted these adjectives, so go live it.

I hope you check out the Johari window and see what blind spots you might be ignoring or hiding.  Can’t wait to see what you embrace.

Drink the Optimism Kool-Aid

On By Cathy NoiceIn Workplace NavigatorLeave a comment

Having a positive outlook can change everything.  If you think you can succeed, finish the race, or complete the project, you will.  If there are a few hiccups along the way, well, that may be what the universe intended.

You probably think that I am being a Pollyanna (for those under 40 and don’t know who Pollyanna is click here) Which is exactly what I’m suggesting you do—be optimistic.  It makes a difference in how you face life; in how you recover from setbacks; in how you lead. In Srinivasan Pillay‘s book Your Brain and Business, he shows why leaders need to be drinking the optimism Kool-Aid.  Dr. Pillay writes, “When you have hope and optimism, you have an automatic way of replacing fear in the line of emotions asking for attention from the amygdala.” Basically, if you dwell on the fear and negativity of the situation, your amygdala goes nuts and shuts down rational and reasonable thoughts.  So if you don’t want to fire up your amygdala (your lizard brain), look on the bright side.  Don’t worry about the “how” and all the obstacles in your way, just have belief that you can succeed and you can lead everyone else (and their lizard brains) out of the fire. See what I mean?  It’s a game changer. optimistic

At my Rotary club every week we have a 50/50 raffle.  There is one guy who wins it on a regular basis.  He knows he’s lucky.  He’s optimistic.  He wins. There are times when he doesn’t win, but he wins a lot more often than anyone else.  Certainly more than anyone who thinks they are unlucky.  They aren’t even putting a dollar in.  They don’t think they have a chance.

OK.  So here is how you can drink the optimism Kool Aid:

1. Suspend. As in, suspend your negative thoughts.  Don’t go listing all the ways why this won’t work.  That is a self-fulfilling prophecy.  You will be correct.  There is absolutely no possibility of succeeding if you think you can’t.  You do not pass “Go” and collect $200.  You will be stuck.

2. Pause.  When adversity comes along (and it will), take a breath and disconnect from your present situation.  Unplug and regroup.  Your reaction under pressure is only feeding your lizard brain.  Don’t let the amygdala go nuts and set off all the firecrackers.  Have a Zen moment and disconnect.  The last thing you need to feed when you are under pressure is your lizard brain.  Chill out.

3. Discerning.  Now is the time to pick the thoughts that go reeling through your head.  Something negative comes along like, “This will NEVER work,” or “Here we go again.” Or worst of all, “You dummy…you always fail at this stuff.”  Stay off the merry-go-round of negative thoughts and pick the right time to select your thought.  Is there something good that could possibly happen?  That is the thought you want.  Wait for it.  It’ll show up, especially if you’ve already done #2.

4. Explore.  There must be something good about the current situation.  The sun is out.  It’s finally raining.  It’s finally summer.  It’s finally winter.  There is a bright side to everything.  Just find the right context.  There is a roof over your head.  Your car started this morning.  You finished high school.  You woke up this morning and still have a pulse.  There is good out there—just go do some exploring.

5. Digest.  Dwell and ruminate on those positive thoughts and outcomes.  Make it real and believe in it.  The board will accept the idea.  Your car can be fixed for less than $100.  The next big client is going to call tomorrow.  The sun will come up tomorrow.  Digest the positive and dwell on it.

I’ve said this in other posts but I’m still working on this and many other positive habits. Practice makes perfect.  Start working on your optimist. It doesn’t come naturally to a lot of us and if it does come naturally to you, share the optimism Kool-Aid with others.

How do you stay optimistic?

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Just say No.

On By Cathy NoiceIn Workplace NavigatorLeave a comment

I’m not sure why, but I have been the trigger person for most of my career.  The gunslinger brought in to say, No.  Human Resource professionals are frequently referred to as The Fashion Police (that skirt is too short), The Personal Hygiene Moderator (deodorant is a necessity), Policy Patrol (insubordination IS grounds for termination) and, worst of all, the b-word.  So why can’t everyone else draw a line in the sand? I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve asked myself that.  They are in avoidance.

It’s so much easier to bring someone else in to say No.  You can stay at arm’s length, point the finger and, in essence, say, “This wasn’t my decision”.  Let someone else be the trigger person and stay clear of the wake.

Try taking a giant step forward and say No. Here are the reasons why you should:

1. Respect.  People pay attention to those who pull the trigger once in a while.  You earn the reputation for being someone who has a backbone and stands up for their principles.  People want you on their team when they know you can be counted on to make the tough decisions even if they are unpopular.

2. Honest.  We’ve all known people who are brown-noses.  How many corporate projects have you been party to that went in the wrong direction because no one in the crowd wanted to say No.  Earning the reputation for being candid takes a few No sayings. I’m not advocating just blurting out No but a well-polished, properly crafted No will increase your authenticity.

3. Less Bunkum.  I had to look up that one up in the thesaurus to keep this polite.  When you get the promotional phone calls for a vacation getaway; don’t hang up.  Say No and take my number off your list.  Disingenuous people stay away from No sayers.  They move on to fawn over someone else who doesn’t mind swimming in bunkum.

4. Relief.  Unresolved conflict can fester.  Be the one to step forward and make the decision.  Do you really want to be up at 3 AM worrying about how you tell the PTA that you want off the committee?  When you have given that well-crafted No; you’ll be sleeping like a baby.

5. Empowerment.  Saying No is gratifying.  You can look yourself in the mirror and know that you stood up for something; you stood up for your beliefs.  It might have been difficult (it almost always is uncomfortable…messy even) but once you get past the No, your self confidence will be rebooted.

6. Culture.  No one likes co-workers who get away with clocking in late, not pulling their weight, constantly stepping over the line that no one else would dare to cross.  That crowd; the group at large.  They are rooting for you.  They want you to pull the trigger.  Be the gunslinger for the 95% who are pulling their weight.  Raise the tide for the culture of your company.

It’s not easy.  But you need to do it.  Be the go-to gunslinger.  Everyone is waiting for you to be a No sayer.  Draw a line in the sand.

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Volun-told. Lessons from Rotary.

On By Cathy NoiceIn Workplace NavigatorLeave a comment

I’ve been a member of Rotary for over 10 years.  It is a great organization that does wonderful work locally and around the world. Every year at the end of June there is a changing of the guard, we install a new president and a lot of the committee chairs change.  This invariably means a few positions are not filled via “volunteers” and someone ends up getting “volun-told” to be a committee chair or purchase a gift for the District Governor or buy tickets to a fund raiser. Invariably, it’s the person who failed to show up for that meeting who ends up being selected since, they are not there and can’t refuse.  Lesson learned. Show up for the weekly meetings.Rotary International

This isn’t isolated to service organizations.  This happens at home.  “Pick up some milk on the way home”.  At work, “Cathy will be in charge of selecting an office location in Charlotte”.  At school, “Each parent will be responsible to bring a snack once during the term”.  Congratulations, you’ve been volun-told.  So now what?

Here are some tips:

1. Show up.  Obviously, if you show up, you cannot be assigned something against your will or without some understanding as to why you were chosen.  You have the added bonus of being counted on.  We’ve all been a part of a team, service organization or committee where there were a few hardy souls who could always be counted on.  Show up so you have input.

2. Expectations.  Find out what the expectations are for the duty or position.  Sometimes we can blow it way out of proportion.  Like if we are doing a “garden project”, I might figure I’ll be on my knees for 8 hours digging with my hands in the sweltering sun without a water break.   You might just need to show up with a shovel and donuts and be done within 2 hours.  Make sure you investigate the expectations of the project and your part overall.

3. Avoid the creep.  Don’t let obligations start creeping in and taking over.  There was a point about two years ago when, suddenly, I was on 6 different boards, committees or non-profits.  Did I mention I’m a mother, a wife, a daughter and a full time professional?  6 obligations on a monthly, if not weekly, basis was too much.  Obligations had crept in and taken over.  I had to say “no” and pared down my obligations.  It wasn’t easy but I had to make a decision to stop the creep.

4. Niche.  Figure out your niche.  Where do you do your best work?  We have a member  who does a great job on fund raising.   He is well-connected and knows how to put the pieces in place to make it happen.  This makes for a great, painless fund raiser.  Capitalize on the area you are at your best.  If you love numbers, be treasurer.  Leading? Be president elect.  Baking? Be in charge of the bake sale.  Find the place where you can shine so that it aligns with your skills.  Find your niche.

5. Dig in.  Sometimes you just need to dig in.  Git ‘er done.  Hold your nose and take out the garbage.  Call the contacts on a fund raising list.  Send out the invoices.  Mail the check.  Dig in the garden.  Just do it.  No whining.  No resentment.  No procrastination.  Dig in and get it done.  Sometimes the work is the reward.

I’d like to express all my gratitude to all those folks, whether volun-told or volunteered, who show up for great organizations like Rotary, Kiwanis, Lions Clubs, Chamber of Commerce, Shriners and the thousands more out there.  Where would we be without volunteers to pitch in and serve others?  Thanks for showing up and pitching in.  If you want to pitch in, I’m sure there is a service organization in your area looking for your talents.  Volunteer instead of being volun-told.