I’ve been working on a coaching certification for the last 5 months and the class work last week involved the Johari Window. The Johari Window is an instrument developed by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham and it helps you understand the way you view yourself and how others view you (or don’t). It has 56 adjectives and if you’d like to try, take this link. So our assignment last week was to coach a class mate through the Johari Window and my class mate, Stephen Starkey, coached me.
Blind spots on the Johari Window are those adjectives that others selected to describe you but that you did not select. Of the friends and family that participated, the majority chose intelligent and witty to describe me. I was taken a back by this and my coach, Steve, helped me uncover why. Although I think I’m smart and that I can be witty, I don’t really own it. It’s OK for me to describe someone else with those adjectives but it seems egotistical to own them myself. Wow. Was that a breakthrough! I’m thinking it’s OK for me to describe others as intelligent but I can’t embrace it myself. How is that holding me back?
This brings up a recent book I read by Sheryl Sandberg called “Lean In”. She describes how women hold themselves back and offers advice on how to “lean in”. I can remember being in the top of my class in elementary school and then, suddenly, flicking the switch. Smart girls (intelligent girls) weren’t valued. At least from my skewed eleven year old female perspective. Time to lean into and recognize my attributes.
If you think your blind spots are holding you back, let’s look at some ways to embrace them:
1. Own. The first thing I did was set up an action item to own the words. My action item was to incorporate the words into my daily meditation. You might need to incorporate them into your daily prayers, affirmations or gratitude at the end of the day. You can’t live the words unless you own them. Obviously, others already know you own them so it’s time for you to pick them up and carry them around.
2. Utilize. So start using them. If one of your adjectives in your blind spot is “happy”, then go out and “be happy”. Live it so that you feel it. Smile to yourself in the mirror. Don’t forget, it’s you that you need to prove this to. Most others already know that you are “happy”. Utilize the adjective so that it comes alive in you.
3. Free. Set it free. I have to say I found this to be quite empowering since acknowledging these two blind spots. Suddenly it’s not as hard to write or develop a solution to a problem. I’m saying to myself, “Cathy, you’re intelligent and witty, writing a blog post shouldn’t be that hard…pssssht.” Like I said, it’s like a road block as been removed. Now I am free.
4. Get over it. I have to say I was terrified to write this post. I initially felt like an egomaniac to actually put those two words out there. I can’t embrace it unless I “get over it”. Everyone out there has attributes and it’s obvious to everyone else that you are “happy, compassionate and adaptable”. Get over it, they already see it. You’re not an ego maniac (yeah, it’s not one of the adjectives available).
5. Live. Live your acknowledged adjectives. Keep them alive and depend on them going forward. Don’t forget to make them apart of your everyday life. This is what you “are”, so live it. Quit trying to hide your “happiness” or “silly” sense of humor. There is a reason you were gifted these adjectives, so go live it.
I hope you check out the Johari window and see what blind spots you might be ignoring or hiding. Can’t wait to see what you embrace.