Category: Cathy Noice

😈 How to Slay the Clutter Monster

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One of the biggest attention suckers is clutter – Physical clutter.  I’m sorry, all you pack rats out there; it’s time to purge.  A post in the unclutterer states that “scientists find physical clutter negatively affects your ability to focus & process information.” Basically, visual clutter grabs your attention so that you can’t focus on the process, decision or project at hand.  Might be time to clean up all those nick-knacks or piles of newspapers, huh?

I’m a chronic pillow straightener.  I can’t leave the house unless the pillows are in their place.  In fact, this causes my son to deliberately knock pillows off the couch.  Because he knows it will get under my skin.  Now I know why – they are messing with my visual cortex!  Lay off my visual cortex, will ya?  I want to get something done today.

I bet you know someone in your office that is a clutter monster.   You know, someone whose desk looks similar to Andy Rooney when he was on 60 Minutes.  No wonder his pieces were only 5 minutes each week, his visual cortex was holding him hostage.  I’ve walked into a colleague’s office and, often wondered, “How do they get anything done in here?”  They don’t.  They are being held hostage by their clutter monster.

So how do you slay the clutter monster? Here are a few suggestions:

1.  Commit.  I know we’ve all watched at least one episode of “Hoarders“.  These poor people basically bury themselves in objects.  Even with therapy, most of them can’t commit to keeping clutter at bay.  You’re going to need to commit or there is no point in entering the ring to fight the monster.  Your best work, project or masterpiece is under that load of visual clutter and you are going to need to make up your mind that it needs to surface and the clutter has got to go.

2. Plan.  It can be overwhelming to decide to declutter your entire office or home in one day.  Make a plan and break it up into parts that can be accomplished in 15 or 30 minute chunks.  Such as: top two book shelves, bottom two book shelves, right bathroom cabinet, left bathroom cabinet, etc.  Then schedule it on your calendar.  Maybe every Saturday morning you work for 30 minutes or Mondays and Wednesdays at 5 PM for 15 minutes.  Plan it out.  It will help eliminate the overwhelming need to run out of the house screaming as well as procrastination.

3. Prepare.  You might want to agree to some rules  such as, if I haven’t worn it in the last year, two years, decade (scratch that…if you haven’t worn it in a decade, it’s out of style) then out it goes.  If your last paramour gave it to you, probably bad mojo;  let it go.  That’s a whole other kind of mind clutter.  Is it worth donating?  Is it trash? Is it worth saving?  I went through cookbooks not that long ago and those that were of sentimental value are in a box in the closet, otherwise, I’m either using them or they were donated.

4. Dig in.  Grab two garbage bags and get started.  How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.  It’s either a donation or trash.  If that blouse has a stain on it that you couldn’t get out – neither can Goodwill.  It’s trash.  If you wore those pants thirty pounds ago – someone at Goodwill can wear it now.  It’s a donation.  If you aren’t sure if you want to keep it, put it somewhere that would take some effort to get to.  A box under the bed, the basement, the attic, or your Mom’s house and give it three months.  If you haven’t thought about it, time to purge.

5. Containers.  You’re going to feel tempted to run out and go crazy at the Container Store before Step #1.  Don’t.  You’ve got to start untangling first before you can start organizing.  You won’t know what you need until you’ve started digging in.  Purchasing 50 – 20 gallon fluorescent pink tubs might seem like the right fix but once you’ve unpacked all your kitchenware, you figure out that the cupboard will work just fine.  Do you really need a coffee mug from your old bank in California?  Sometimes an old basket will find a new purpose.  And sometimes, one 20 gallon fluorescent pink tub will work just fine.

6. Rinse and Repeat.  Clutter monsters seem to grow back like kudzu along southern freeways.  Set up a reminder to go back through your office in six months.  On the second pass, you might finally get rid of that conference binder from 6 years ago on employment law. Might be time to refresh the pictures on the credenza (your son gave up soccer 5 years ago).  You still haven’t found a pair of shoes to wear with that dress – time for it to go.  As Christine Kane says “If it’s not an Absolute Yes, it’s a No”.  You’ll need to say No as you move forward to continue to keep the monster under control.

If you buy a new dress, pair of shoes, coffee mug or stapler, swap it in kind with an old dress, pair of shoes, coffee mug or stapler.  Starve your monster, your visual cortex will appreciate it.

What would you do?

🤗 Steps Toward Acceptance

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I’ve just finished reading Gabriel Bernstein’s book, Judgment Detox.  The book is quite thought provoking and it has helped me work on being more accepting instead of judgmental. Gabriel points out how omnipresent judging is and that, “The root cause of all judgment is the fear of not being good enough, not being worthy of love, and not being safe.”  She offers 6 steps in her book but the step that resonated for me was Step 4: See for the first time. This step is all about acceptance.

Here is how to embrace acceptance:

See. I need to see people as they are and not how I want them to be. I think frequently throughout the day when I start to judge someone for some physical attribute, what they’re saying or not saying or what someone is wearing.I tend to have a current judgement of choice like white shoes in winter or stilettos on a subway. In order to “see” the person I need to get rid of all the assumptions I’ve created in a matter of seconds including but not limited to age, income, marital status, attitude, preferences and general intelligence. My judgements are built on a shaky scaffolding of past experiences and slights and wounds that take me away from acceptance and seeing each soul as they are. 

Light. One of my favorite quotes from the book is, “The light in you is all I see”. When I assume that everyone has a light inside just trying to break out and shine, I’m am much more forgiving. As Brene Brown espoused, “All I know is that my life is better when I assume that people are doing their best.  It keeps me out of judgement and lets me focus on what is, and not what should or could be.” I just imagine that everyone is trying to let their light shine and I just need to find that light.  Whether it’s a smile, or nod of a stranger or holding the door open or winking at a toddler. I’m trying to find ways to let other’s shine.

Self Acceptance. Acceptance is much more effective if I can accept myself. After all, judgement is the root of self recrimination.  As Bernstein wrote, “I use judgment to take the focus off my own feelings of inadequacy and I project those feelings onto someone else to feel relief.” If I am able to accept myself, including the extra weight, and creaking knees, I am much better equipped to accept others as they are. When I’m feeling self conscious, suddenly I notice everyone’s weight whether it be too much or too little. Self acceptance leads me to accepting other’s and their light.

Humanity.  I need to recognize that the other person is me. We all struggle and I need to have compassion for everyone else’s path. I think to back to when I was drinking, I scoffed at those who didn’t drink. Now that I am on the sobriety path, I need to make sure I have compassion for those who are on the same path, a different path and those who want to be on my path but just aren’t there yet. We are all working on something and I need to be able to hold space for everyone regardless of where they are on their journey.

Assume the best. If I have experience with someone that is frequently negative, I can start creating a play list of what I expect the person to do. Things like, ”She’ll shoot down my idea”, “He never likes my meatloaf”, “They always walk too fast.” I come into the next meeting with that person and expect the worst and set myself up with armor. When I can reframe the situation and assume the best, it’s much more likely to have a positive outcome. So even if she shoots down my idea, I can come back with “what are your thoughts?” It’s the old Henry Ford quote, “If you think you can or can’t, you’re right.” When I think that I can, I feel much more powerful and accepting. 

Acceptance is most difficult closest to home.  I have to be accepting of my children’s choices, my brother’s feedback and my friend’s complex schedule. It’s a relief to accept others as they are and to let them walk their own path without my judgement. How do you practice acceptance?

👑Each of Us is Sovereign

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SOVEREIGN (noun)

a: one possessing or held to possess supreme political power or sovereignty

b: one that exercises supreme authority within a limited sphere

c: an acknowledged leader

Each of us is sovereign.

I learned this concept from a great coach I know, Alysia Vrolyk. I think this is completely applicable to all sorts of areas of your life (and of course mine). It’s probably most applicable if you have a teenage son, are in a committed relationship, work with others or are a coach. So if you are a hermit? Not so much. But if you aren’t, pay attention. You have supreme power over you. I am the acknowledged leader of me. I can love you or lead you or teach you but it is only you who decides what to do with what I give you. Sovereign. 

The best illustration or example of this is the first time a teenage child gets behind the wheel and drives off without any co-pilot…without their mom to tell them to slow down or turn the iPod down. It’s terrifying but true – they are now officially sovereign. Whether that car (and its contents) returns to the driveway is completely and utterly up to that child behind the wheel and all the other sovereigns out there on the road. I have to say I wish I had this concept when my kids were looking at colleges. It’s not up to me, or their guidance counselor or their best friend. The decision of what school is completely up to my sovereign child.

So how do you incorporate a little sovereignty into your life? Here are some tips:

  1. No meddling. Do not meddle in other sovereigns unless you are invited to a détente. So if I’ve started a new exercise regime and I think it would be an awesome idea if my significant other would do the same….stop. If I think the Vice President of Operations should make her whole crew work every weekend until the backlog is gone…stop.   If I think the client’s goal should be to get a promotion instead of feeling confident in their industry knowledge…stop. Respect the authority of others to make their own decisions. If you have not been invited to meddle, don’t.
  2. Detach from the outcome. I wrote recently that my daughter had to decide between three jobs. One of them would have left her in NYC and the other two brought her back home to North Carolina. I could not get attached to any outcome. All three jobs had their pros and cons but if I was excessively attached (like calling every day to find out how job prospect B was coming or constantly talking up prospect B), she would not have ultimately been able to make her own decision. I would have been way too invested in one outcome over another and…she would have resented my opinion. Detach from the outcome.
  3. The gift you bring is your presence. Just because they are their own sovereigns does not mean you can’t be present. In the anguishing weeks where my daughter had to decide where she wanted to be this Fall, we talked several times on the phone. I was present. I listened. She played through the scenarios. She made decisions. I was a sounding board. I wasn’t there to sell her on what I wanted. I was there to let her think things through. It’s the same with clients working through a dilemma. I am present and ask the questions that help them do their own best thinking. You don’t know what you don’t know until you know. Only a sovereign can know what they really want. Sit back and be present.
  4. No sweat. The great facilitator Paul McGinniss uses this phrase when modeling the coaching dialogue and the client hasn’t taken a step they planned. This happens all the time when a client doesn’t do the action they said they wanted to. They didn’t start… exercising, studying for the exam, standing up to their boss, having a meeting with their team. No sweat. Is it still important to you? What would make you feel like you are moving forward on this goal? They are their own sovereign. Let them decide the direction they want to go. You aren’t there for accountability; you are there for reflection and re-framing. Don’t sweat it.
  5. You need to respect your own sovereignty. Don’t lose yourself in giving your time and presence to others. Don’t change the borders of your sovereign just because your neighbor asks. This is not a time to let folks roll over you. Keep the moat filled, the drawbridge in working order and your crown shined up. Don’t diminish your own self-respect. It is great to respect someone else’s space as long as they don’t tread on yours. Keep your back bone and self-respect.

When you grant other’s sovereignty, it’s freeing. You are no longer trying to be a backseat driver for everyone else. You have control of your steering wheel; if someone else fails, let it be. They are on their journey and you are on yours. Accepting that everyone has their own sovereignty untangles the expectations so that we are free to make decisions for ourselves and no one else.

🧐How to Act as IF

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To act As If is to invite or attract what you want into your life. It is a basic tenant of the Law of Attraction. As I headed home from New Bern, North Carolina driving in the rain, I initially became tense behind the wheel and was afraid I was going to hydroplane. I decided that I needed to act as if I would arrive safely at home and to let go of the tension. I imagined that the rain would slow, and I focused on the book I was listening to. The rain didn’t stop immediately, the car didn’t drive itself but once I relaxed into the feeling that I was a safe driver and could handle this, the rain subsided, the car handled beautifully, and I was home. I think that the initial stress and tension had me caught up in fear. When I relaxed and acted as if I was almost home and that the driving was easy, I eased into my goal of arriving safely at home.

It’s not just about positive thoughts. It’s also about positive action. I needed to slow down my car regardless of the truck bearing down behind me. I remember consciously relaxing my hands on the wheel from a vice grip to gentle navigation. I envisioned driving down my driveway safely at home. Most of the work is between the ears, but some of it can be body posture and a smile on your face. All of it is an inside game.

Four easy steps to act As If:

Actor

Imagine that you are Daniel Day-Lewis or Christian Bale preparing for a role. Acting as if requires acting; getting into the role. If you are a successful millionaire, how do you act? If you are a Vice President instead of a director, how do you act? If you are Daniel Day-Lewis performing as Abraham Lincoln, you keep your American accent all day and sign your text “Yours, A.” If you are a drug addict like Christian Bale in The Fighter, you lose 50 pounds and run for 4 hours a day. I have to say when I saw that movie, I remembered thinking, where did they find drug addict to play this part? I had no idea it was Bale. Method actors are famous for taking on the role off-set. They live and breathe it. If you are going to be that millionaire or own that seaside house, you’re going to need to act the part.

As Leeor Alexandra writes for Living Lovelee, “Act accordingly. If you would like to be rich, act rich by spending happily and generously. This is something you might have to practice, especially if you are short on cash. So many of us dread spending even a dollar, and we pay for things reluctantly and with regret. That is the quickest way to become even poorer.” I pay bills the minute they show up and do it with a smile. And, remarkably, money keeps showing up. Act the part and it will be so.

Feel

Take a look at past history and conjure up the feelings and emotions you are looking for. If it’s a new relationship, think back to the first months with your first love and how you felt. The joy, the smile, the giddiness, the wonder of the world. This will attract the same. As written on the Wisdom Post, “If driving a new car makes you feel like a ‘success’, find out an example that you have felt this same feeling before. Take note and be conscious every time when you feel this feeling of ‘success’ every day. Focus on how this feeling has already been attracted to you and continued to come to you on a daily basis. The key is to feel your root emotion in order to feel as if you already have it. As you project more of this emotion, your desire will draw closer to you.”

I have focused on a feeling of being carefree and full of abundance. I am careful not to get caught up in other’s sense of lacking. I don’t hold resentment if I pick up the check or need to help my son with a plane ticket. I feel into the abundance and sense of generosity. I’m not saying I never backslide; I am a work in progress. I regroup and see that I am infinite and can handle anything coming my way. Feel into it.

Speak

Your words are what you manifest. If you say to yourself you are fat, you will be fat. If you say to yourself that you are slim and healthy, you will be slim and healthy. Speak it so it will be so. I lived a long time from a sense of lack. I would tell my kids that we didn’t have enough money for new soccer cleats, a new clarinet or a Vera Bradley bag. I spoke the language of lack and therefore it was so. When I see a large bill now, I say to myself, “I always have money coming in.” It’s amazing how new clients and money are constantly showing up.

As Alexandra wrote, “Watch the way you speak about yourself and your life – if it doesn’t align with the reality you desire, you have to change it. And change it on the spot. Also, take notice of how you react to things people say as well as to every day occurrences. Make sure to only speak and react in the way that you would speak and react once you have manifested your desire. That is how to act as if you already have it.” Speak the language of what you want to attract.

Look

I think of that song, “You’ve got the look.” If I plan on hiking part of the Appalachian Trail then I need to look the part. I have the trail runners, the convertible pants and the quick dry shirt. I wear it on the weekends when I walk in my neighborhood. I may only be at 150 feet above sea level and not at 4,000 feet, but I look the part. It helps me feel the part. If you want to be a yoga instructor, buy the yoga pants. If you want to be a Chief People Officer, wear the suit as if you were born into it. If you want that motorcycle, buy the leather jacket and helmet.

As Alexandra wrote, “If you look the way you want, you will raise your vibration and speed the creation process along even more. Look the part is the equivalent of: ‘Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.’ Find clothes that fit the life you’re creating and make you feel amazing.” I know when I lost a bunch of weight after getting sober, I eliminated anything in my closet that didn’t fit my new lifestyle. No more loose clothes or things that didn’t make me feel great. As Marie Kondo says, “Does it spark joy?” If it doesn’t spark joy or align with what I desire, it’s gone.

It all comes down to belief and aligning with what you truly want. I originally titled this “4 Easy Steps to Act As If,” but the truth of the matter is that it’s not easy. I have to keep coming back to it. It’s easy to slide back into a sense of lack. I must stay vigilant to stay the course, but over time, it’s all coming into alignment. What do you want to attract into your life?

😎 Surprising SoFlo

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I have visited Southern Florida several times.  My son attended the University of Miami and then lived in Miami for about eight years.  I just returned from five weeks on the road in my RV, Abeona.  I wanted to check off the three National Parks in Florida and the historic town of St. Augustine. I found SoFlo to be a totally different vibe from other areas of Florida and certainly from North Carolina where I normally live. There is a Latin, family welcoming vibe and most people assume that you can speak Spanish which I have never found before in the United States. 

Flying over the vast expanse of Dry Tortugas National Park

Here is what I found surprising in SoFlo:

Farms. I always realized that a lot of citrus is grown in Florida but south of Miami in the towns of Homestead and Florida City, there are miles and miles of farms. And what seems like hundreds of fruit stands.  Two famous one’s which are not to be missed is one called, Robert is Here and Knaus Berry Farm. One is very different from the other. Robert is Here is a few miles from the entrance to Everglades National Park and is part fruit stand, food stand, milk shake stand and aviary. There is a small farm and aviary with everything from Goats to Cockatiels. They have tons of fruits you will only find in the Caribbean and South America like Mamey Sapote, Sapodilla, Cocao Pods, and Guanabana. They make the most delicious milkshakes I’ve ever had (I highly recommend coconut key lime). Knaus Berry Farm is in Homestead and they sell a terrific selection of baked goods in addition to being a farm stand.  The sticky buns are sold by the dozen and they are delectable. I’d like to thank my friend Sue (who lives in SoFlo) for recommending both places. Both are worth the journey to get to.

Animals.  The array of animals that happily exists in the wild is pretty amazing. If you have ever been to Key West then you know that Roosters are ubiquitous.  You can’t turn a corner downtown without seeing Roosters, Hens and chicks walking aimlessly. I was taken aback by the amount of Anhinga that were on the appropriately named Anhinga Trail in Everglades National Park. I could have stood two feet from one and it wouldn’t budge from sunning itself. Manatees, Ospreys, Crocodiles, Green Herons, Great Blue Herons, Egrets, Night Herons and Alligators.  They are all there coexisting in the vast region of wetlands that is south of Tamiami Trail. As I drove to Naples from Flamingo on Tamiami Trail, I stopped at several state and national preserves and saw upwards of 30 alligators hanging out sunning themselves. I was practically desensitized to being afraid of them because they were so plentiful but languid. 

Spanish. I went to a restaurant with my friend Sue and practically everyone that greeted us from the restaurant staff greeted us in Spanish. If you answer in English, they respond in Spanish.  It was wild.  The real test for me was going to a grocery store before heading to Key West. Both associates and customers were speaking Spanish throughout the store. I asked someone in the produce department for “Mushrooms” and he said “Don’t speakee English”. So, I asked for “Hongos” and he immediately took me to where the mushrooms were stored and he asked me how to say it in English. This was so wild for me. I think there were places in Spain that spoke more English than this enormous grocery store in Homestead. I had an issue checking out and the customers behind me were asking “Que pasa?” which I responded to in Spanish.  If you have ever tried to speak another language, most folks default to speaking English. I really enjoyed immersing myself back into Spanish.  It was an unexpected delight. 

Water. There are vast expanses of water everywhere.  Even if it looks like solid ground, it’s most likely a swamp. It’s humbling to drive Route 1 all the way down to Key West. It’s almost a hundred miles from Key Largo to Key West down the only connecting road, Route 1 or Overseas Highway.  It’s called Overseas for the reason most of the time all you can see on either side of the road is water.  Crystal clear water dotted with tiny keys covered in mangroves or grass. It’s quite the adventure.  Then there is the massive Biscayne Bay which is mostly National Park and water. Within the Everglades there is another gigantic body of water called Whitewater Bay. I realize there have been jokes about buying swamp land in Florida but there is a ton of it. It’s important to get out on it or over it by boat or seaplane or kayak.  There is so much to explore.

I admit that my expectations for SoFlo have mostly been driving around Miami and enjoying the restaurants, the beaches and the murals of the Wynwood Art District. There is so much more there than giant mojitos in South Beach and trending murals.  There is a ton of nature and culture to be explored. I hope you get a chance to do so. 

🐊Exploring the Everglades

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I headed to southern Florida to visit the three National Parks that make up most of the southern tip.  After experiencing the Biscayne and Dry Tortugas National Parks, I finally arrived in my RV at Everglades National Park.  I don’t camp that frequently in National Parks because most are so remote that connectivity is rare and I am unable to work. I was able to schedule my visit on the weekend, when connectivity is not an issue. I have previously been to the Everglades because it’s 1.5 million acres but I have never been “into” the National Park.  I had a terrific airboat ride 5 years ago with my family in the Everglades that was absolutely magical.  Those airboat rides are along the Tamiami Trail which is the northern border of the park. For the first time, I actually entered Everglades National Park and enjoyed the unparalleled landscape that 1.5 million acres of water and wetlands provide.

Planning is critical for any visit to Florida in March. I had to book the campsite 6 months earlier so that I could be assured of making the rest of my plans.  So, if it ends up raining or it’s super-hot, so be it. I also secured a Back Country Boat Tour that was operated close to my campsite in Flamingo. Flamingo itself is on the very tip of Florida and some 50 miles from the park entrance. I learned this while visiting Big Bend National Park in Texas.  It could take an hour or more to get from the entrance of the park to wherever you want to end up. Flamingo has a visitor center, marina, a restaurant, some lodging and a campground.  So, once you get down there, there are some amenities although you can’t take a hot shower in the campground (yikes). 

An Anhinga drying it’s wings on the Anhinga Trail in the Everglades

Based on my previous visit on the airboat ride, I expected the whole park to be wet grasslands.  That is completely untrue. The southern end of the park near Flamingo is mostly water and mangroves of all varieties.  I was really glad I had booked a boat ride that had a naturalist to explain all the flora and fauna in the area. There were about fifteen of us on the pontoon boat as we glided through the waterways of the park.  

We encountered a very large Osprey nest that had two active parents and two chicks that were starting to fledge. Apparently, it’s unusual to have two chicks survive so watching the two chicks and mother all in the nest with the father guarding from afar was pretty amazing. Osprey mate for life and these two had been coming back here for years. 

As we headed down a canal, we were constantly stopping the boat to observe Tricolor, Green Herons and Yellow Crowned Night Herons as we passed by.  The driver would stop and back up so that we could all observe the birds. Green Herons and Yellow Crowned Night Herons are much more elusive and almost immediately go hide in the brush.  The Tricolor Heron, on the other hand, frequently stay in the spotlight by flying ahead of the boat, stopping and then chasing us again.  It was remarkable.

By far the most elusive animals are American Crocodiles and Manatees. We had a woman on the boat spot a Crocodile.  I have no idea how she spotted it but sure enough we backed up and there it was hanging below the surface with just it’s eyes and snout pointing out of the water. We were able to see a Manatee when we returned to the marina and it was in between the docks. They can take a breath and go under for an extended period of time. 

It wasn’t until the end of the trip when I was connected to wifi again, that I saw how far we traveled on the boat tour. We had traveled from Florida Bay to Coot Bay and onto Whitewater Bay.  Whitewater Bay is an enormous body of water and one of the few places in the world where both alligators and crocodiles live.  Crocodiles need salty or at least brackish water to live. It’s hard to express how large a body of water it is. There are warnings not to kayak it without a guide since there is a monotony of mangroves ( and they all look the same).

My only hike in the park was on Anhinga Trail which is close to the main entrance.  I must have seen 30 or more Anhinga while hiking the boardwalk high above the swamp below. Anhingas are impressive because they open their wings like a bat and hang just about everywhere.  It’s intimidating to walk by but they don’t move. There were Great Blue Herons, Green Herons and Purple Gallinules as well.  It’s a bit creepy as I walked across the boardwalk because I could hear splashes of water below. I had no idea if it was a fish swimming in shallow water or an alligator grabbing lunch. 

I was really glad I ventured into the depths of Everglades National Park; it was dramatically different than an airboat ride gliding across wetlands but just as interesting and special.  It’s reassuring to see so much wetland protected and the preservation of habitat for endangered species like the manatee, American crocodile and Florida panther.  I hope this spurs you to venture out yourself. 

✈️ Secluded and Intriguing Dry Tortugas National Park

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I decided to check off three more National Parks from my bucket list in the Spring of 2025. Dry Tortugas was the one I was most intrigued by. Dry Tortugas was discovered in 1513 by Ponce de Leon and it was initially called Las Tortugas (Spanish for turtles) and later called Dry Tortugas since it doesn’t have fresh water.  It’s very inaccessible because you can only get there by boat or seaplane and it’s one of the least visited National Parks with about 70,000 folks visiting annually.  It encompasses seven tiny islands (keys) 68 miles southwest of Key West and most of the National Park, like Biscayne National Park, is water. Just getting to Key West is an adventure as there is only one way in and one way out by road. Factor in construction, traffic and, in my case, a few fires, I was quite relieved to successfully finish the drive to Key West. 

This goes down as one of the most amazing adventures I’ve ever embarked on. In fact, outside of visiting historic Saint Augustine, this was the main point of venturing to the bottom of the continental United States. Traveling by motorhome in Florida in March is something that must be planned at least six months in advance and finding a campsite took several weeks to finally obtain.  After that, I booked my seat on Key West Seaplane Adventures. Yes, it’s expensive, but it’s oh so worth it.

The Seaplane to Dry Tortugas National Park

I had a 10 AM flight out of the Key West airport. First of all, a seaplane can take off on a regular runway, which I did not know.  There were two other groups on my plane which were families with kids and then me for a total of 10 adventurous souls all with window seats.  We donned our headsets and listened to our pilot as we took off in the middle of the airstrip (because the whole airstrip wasn’t necessary). It’s not a pressurized cabin so the wind, disconcertingly, is blowing in. But the view? Mesmerizing. The seaplane flies at 500 feet above the crystal-clear water and all of the coral and sand are visible from above. Much of the trip the water is only 3-7 feet deep and the water is a bright aqua blue. Our pilot described the various shipwrecks, pointed out dolphins and sharks and told stories of Spanish treasure. The seaplane ride alone was worth the effort. 

We landed a 100-yards from the edge of the Garden Key which is home to Fort Jefferson and the area of Dry Tortugas that you can visit. The airplane backed up to the beach and we all came down the ladder and stepped safely onto the beach. It feels like about 90 percent of the island is taken up by Fort Jefferson. It is the largest brick masonry structure in the Western Hemisphere with more than 16 million bricks.  Construction started in 1847 although it was never completed. At the time it was being constructed there were upwards of 400 people living on the island which seems crazy since there is no fresh water source. It also was never used as a fort although it was a prison during and after the Civil War.   Dr. Samuel Mudd who aided John Wilkes Booth and three other conspirators were held in the fort. 

It was interesting to explore the fort which doesn’t have electricity or running water.  If you head up the spiral staircase, don’t expect lighting or a handrail. Apparently, they abandoned finishing the fort which was designed to house 7,500 men. It became obsolete due to the invention of rifled cannons; the weight of the bricks caused the fort to sink and there were several yellow fever outbreaks. There is a lighthouse on the fort itself and another lighthouse on Loggerhead Key which is visible from the fort. It’s disconcerting to hike around a fort with absolutely no safety features and realize that the whole thing is sinking. 

There is also Bush Key which is connected to Garden Key that is closed while there are nesting bird colonies of Sooty Tern and Brown Noddies.  It’s open in the fall once the birds have finished breeding. All the birds fly high above the fort along with Magnificent Frigatebirds which are quite stunning. 

The seaplane ride back was just as terrific as we went over shipwrecks from the last 400 years. One famous one is the Nuestra Señora Atocha which was a Spanish treasure galleon which sank in 1622 and was famously discovered by Mel Fisher in 1985 with almost a half billion dollars in treasure. From the seaplane I could see one ship with its mast from my seat on the plane. 

It was such an adventure all wrapped up in one spot.  The beauty of the scenic plane ride practically gliding over the crystal-clear water, the ecosystem of nesting birds, the massive coral reef and visible fish from the seawall as well as the deep history of an immense fortress that was never complete. Go see it for yourself!

🏝️ Discovering Biscayne National Park

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 set out to check off three more national parks from my list this Spring by heading to the south of Florida. The National Parks in Florida don’t have mountains or canyons or glaciers or tall ancient trees.  What they have a lot of is water. What they have in common with most of the other National Parks is remoteness. For the most part, it takes preparation and planning to set out to truly discover these national parks. Traveling by motorhome in Florida takes at least 6 months of planning as most RV parks are frequently booked 6 months to a year in advance during high season. Many of the tours that are available in Biscayne National Park need to be booked over 6 months in advance or you have to be very flexible with your dates.  The closest RV park was a Miami-Dade Park called Larry and Penny Thompson Memorial Park and Campground. This is a nice jumping off point for everything south of Miami.

Biscayne National Park sits off the coast of Miami south of Key Biscayne. The only way to see it, outside of stopping by the visitor’s center near Homestead, FL is to get on a boat.  There are a slew of boat tours available out of the Dante Fascell Visitor Center whether it be via kayaking, snorkeling, canoeing or stand up paddle board.  I elected to take a 3-hour cruise out to Boca Chita Key.  I was shocked to find out that 95% of the park is under water. Beneath the waters are manatees, coral reefs and countless abandoned mangrove covered keys.  The water was crystal clear.  We learned about the history of the area that was once inhabited by the Tequesta people. Later in the 19th century, pineapples, tomatoes and key limes were cultivated on these teeny tiny islands.  This became obsolete with several hurricanes destroying the crops.  In the 60’s and 70’s two power plants and two nuclear power plants were built on the shores.  This caused a backlash against development so the Biscayne National Park was born to preserve the delicate ecosystems of coral reefs, sea turtle nesting grounds and mangroves. 

Visiting Boca Chita Key in Biscayne National Park

The highlight of my boat tour was on Boca Chita Key which was originally developed to be a private club with a small lighthouse and barn.  Now the only way to arrive is by boat and many folks dock overnight.  I could see the coral reefs and schools of fish 

from the edge of the island. I really enjoyed walking on the perimeter of the key to see the birds and mangroves and very small beaches and the fact that no one was out there. I felt a million miles away from the towering Miami skyline; it was just me and the sand and the mangroves.  It was quite the boat ride back although most of bay is only seven to ten feet deep, when the wind picks up the waves come splashing over the boat. I don’t think any of the 30 of us on the boat escaped getting soaked on the trip which made it more of an adventure.

The park is a juxtaposition with the enormous metropolitan center just minutes away and the vast expanse of crystal clear water and mangrove covered keys dotting the water. I had been to Key Biscayne and its lighthouse guarding the bay some years ago.  To travel from the visitor’s center for Biscayne NP to the Key Biscayne lighthouse would take 2 hours and I still would not have circumnavigated the entire park. I’m just so glad I was able to have this experience and I was grateful for the forethought of those who sought to protect it. 

🇪🇸 Historic Saint Augustine

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I traveled to St. Augustine in March of 2025. I have wanted to go to one of the most historic cities in the United States for the last decade or so. I tried last year but as with most winter/spring plans involving an RV, St. Augustine was fully booked.  This time I was well prepared in advance and booked 9 months in advance. St. Augustine did not disappoint. 

I grew up in Wilmington, Delaware and most of my historic lens is built around the thirteen original colonies, the Mayflower and Delaware being the first state (Dover is closer to Philadelphia than Harrisburg; so Cesar Rodney arrived first to sign the Declaration of Independence). Florida and the history of the Americas has never really been in my knowledge base. It’s quite surprising to realize that St. Augustine is the oldest European inhabited city in the United States and that it wasn’t part of the United States until 1819. In fact, it was occupied for 300 years before it became part of the United States.  

In front of the Castillo de San Marco

Ponce de Leon ventured onto what he thought was an island in 1513. He aptly named the island “La Florida” which means the place of flowers and claimed it for the Spanish crown. It was founded in 1565 by Menendez de Aviles. In contrast, the Mayflower sails to the United States in 1620.  The Spanish were here a century before the English. In St. Augustine most of the oldest homes in the United States are here as well as the oldest wooden school house which was built in 1702 and it still exists on St. George St. in the heart of old town St. Augustine.

Castillo de San Marcos was originally built by the Spanish in 1695 and is the oldest masonry fortification in the United States. A wooden fort was built after Sir Francis Drake attached St. Augustine in 1565. The masonry fort was built after an English privateer Robert Searles attacked and destroyed much of St. Augustine and the existing wooden fort. Most of the fortress was completed in 1672.  The Spanish Crown wanted to protect the shipping routes from Central and South America. Touring the fort is easy and it’s located right next to the water in central St. Augustine. It’s complete with a moat and drawbridge. It’s an unusual shape with pointed corners so that any intruder can be fired upon. The mortar is made from coquina or seashells which makes it extremely impregnable. The fortress itself was never breached or taken by force and was only exchanged through treaty or agreement. 

The Spanish held the fort from 1565 until 1763 when the British took over the fort in exchange for the British giving up control of occupied Havana. When this happened, many freedmen left for Cuba since they could not be assured of their rights under the English. In 1783, the Treaty of Paris ceded Florida back to Spain in recognition for their efforts on behalf of the American colonies during the Revolutionary War. Florida and the fort came under American rule when Spain ceded Florida in the 1819 Adams-Onis Treaty.  Quite the amazing history for an impenetrable fort. 

I was able to tour Flagler College which is on the site of the Hotel Ponce de Leon which was built by Standard Oil co-founder Henry Flagler.  It was built between 1885-1887 and it’s a terrific example of the Spanish Colonial Revival style. There are hundreds of homages to Spain inside and outside the hotel with the coats of armor for many Spanish cities. It has an incredible collection of Tiffany windows and many nautical themes throughout what once was a hotel that was only open for four months of the year for wealthy snow birds. It really is stepping back in time to tour the inside of the buildings which now house students for Flagler College.

Right across the street is the Lightner Museum of St. Augustine which is on the location for Flagler’s Hotel Alcazar. There is now a cafe in what once was an indoor pool.  I had lunch in the Cafe Alcazar and it’s wild to see pictures of this pool full of water and folks diving off of what is now a terrace. The museum if full of photos of the hotel from the late 1800’s. 

I was surprised by the beautiful architecture, the swaying palm tree lined avenues, the tiny shops in the historic district, and the mighty fortress that still sits perched on the Matanzas (which mean massacre in Spanish) River. Here the many folks that called this home and then had to either voluntarily or involuntarily move on as one ruler came on and another exited. So much history in an idyllic town which at one point was the north end of the entire Spanish kingdom. 

Let Them and Let Me 😃

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I finished Mel Robbin’s book Let Them Theory last month and it’s a great mantra to keep in mind throughout the day. My friend didn’t respond to a text about stopping by, let them. Spouse leaves the dishes in the sink (while the dishwasher sits empty), let them. Flat tire on the way to an appointment, let them. Your boss is in a bad mood, let them. Your dad judges your new job, let them. Mel Robbins’ Let Them Theory has unlimited use moments. Every day. 

Robbins talks about seeing old friends on social media having a great getaway weekend…without her. She spiraled. How could they? What did she do wrong? That whole feeling of FOMO and feeling the injustice that someone could overlook her or shut her out. I think of this as the “story I’m telling myself”; where I create a whole story that everyone is against me and somehow I’m not worthy. It’s futile, damaging and painful. And it’s completely self-defeating. It does absolutely no good. 

Here are the steps to Let Them and Let Me:

Know what you can control. Almost everything that is outside of me is outside of my control. The weather, time, gravity, people’s opinions, other people’s effort, other people’s decisions and other people’s habits. My worry and consternation cannot change something that I have no control over. Making someone interested in you, getting a job offer, being picked on the kickball team, making the traffic jam disappear or getting that screaming baby to calm down on an overseas flight.  These are outside of my immediate control. What can I control? That’s the let me part. I can focus on what I’m interested in, I can keep putting out resumes and expanding my network, I can practice my kickball skills or pursue basketball instead, I can be grateful for the break in a traffic jam and hope that no one is seriously injured, and I can put on headphones or offer to fill a bottle for the baby. There is also my response to all these aggravations. I can breathe deep and stay centered instead of reacting or turning up the volume on my inner critic. I look for what I can control and that is where my peace lies.

Know your brain.  We all do our best thinking when we have access to our prefrontal cortex (PFC). This is where the magic happens.  We plan, we find solutions, we are creative and we are innovative when we are able to be in our PFC. Unfortunately, stress hijacks us out of our PFC and into our Amygdala. When we are in our Amygdala, it’s all fight, flight, freeze or fawn. This is when I say stupid things and frequently do things I regret (I’m looking at you Ben and Jerry’s).  I was alarmed this past year when I read in a research study that it takes a minimum of 20 minutes to get out of our Amygdala and back into our PFC. So, if I’m called out at a budget meeting in front of the entire senior staff, I’m not likely to have a well thought out eloquent response. In my opinion, this is the time to get some kind of break so that I don’t put my foot in my mouth. There are also centering exercises like thinking about my big toe, taking 3 deep breaths, or rubbing my thumb and forefinger together to feel my fingerprint ridges. The point is to focus on your body instead of your brain which is currently drowning in chemicals. So, before I engage in responding, I need to know where my brain is. Am I in my Amygdala or my PFC? Once I know the answer, I can take the next best steps. 

Know your power. Learning to let them is very powerful.  When I get caught up in someone else blocking my way or getting sucked into wanting to change them, I feel empty and fragile. By pushing back or resisting, I end up expending a lot of energy and I feel depleted. It’s like trying to push a rope.  I realize now it’s futile and exhausting. Let them helps me feel more powerful because I’m focused on what I can do and control instead of getting wrapped up in what I can’t. 

Know your values.  The Let Them Theory frees me up to make choices that align with my values. I’m not trying to appease someone or worry about “how something” will look to others.  As long as it’s aligned with my values, then I can Let Me. I get to take ownership of where I want to be and what I want to do instead of (unsuccessfully) trying to drive others to what I want.  Or what I think they should want. I get to follow my values and let them follow theirs. 

Know others. It’s impossible to change someone else. Robbins spent several chapters on a woman who wanted to get her husband to shape up. Nagging and cajoling just don’t work.  The more I push the less the other person wants to comply. If it’s not their own idea, it’s not going to happen. My son isn’t going to apply for an early decision at my alma mater.  My partner isn’t going to quit drinking. Respect that each person is on their own path and they get to decide which direction to go. Robbins suggests setting the example and then let go. So, If I want to get my friend to start running every morning, I can go running every morning and tell them how great I feel when I do.  Beyond that, sit back and see if they get there on their own.

Relinquishing power to control others is so powerful. Robbins does a great job making it so easy in just two words: Let Them. And then, Let Me. Let me respond with my values and set the example of having the boundaries that align with them. Can you let them?