worst case scenario – Workplace Navigator

I coach around 30 to 40 professionals across many industries. They range from technology, manufacturing, finance and government. I’ve noticed a real uptick in the amount of folks suffering from stress and overwhelm. I believe it’s partially due to so many businesses are short staffed and many are still trying to negotiate the boundary between home and work; and post pandemic, what’s safe and not safe. There is an underlying stress for many folks that a crowd of people still equals danger. Their body is sending stress signals that other humans are germ carrying vessels and to go wash your hands again. It’s hard to rewire our brains into relaxing and resetting into calm. Several of my high performing clients are petrified to return to the office whether the fear is unfounded or not. It’s difficult to recapture calm once the cortisol is released in your body but there are some tricks that can be helpful.

Here are 5 tricks to reset to calm:

Take 20 Minutes. When you perceive a threat whether real or imagined (I can’t tell you how many times I thought a root was a snake on a hiking trail), your breathing is shallow, your heart rate goes up, adrenaline and cortisol are released. As Donna Marino wrote for Fast Company, “Psychologists call this process the “fight, flight, or freeze response,” referring to the body’s instinctual reaction to this event. Once this process is triggered, it can take up to 20 minutes for the parasympathetic system to intervene and return you to a state of calm.” So, let’s say you were just embarrassed on a conference call or the offer on your house fell through or you are angry at your partner. Take a 20-minute break. Once you are triggered it’s very difficult to speak and think coherently. If there is any way to take a break to later in the day or, better yet the next day, get some space and time to reset.

Best, Worst, Most Likely. Perhaps you are nervous to confront your direct report on a poor-quality project or to present to the executive team or to get through this really challenging class. Think through or write down or chat with a close friend or coach.

Ask yourself the following three questions:

What is the best outcome? My employee turns around and gets promoted, I am flawless on the presentation and they tap me for a promotion I get an A+ in the course.
What is the worst outcome? My employee quits and goes on Glass Door to trash me, the executive team hate the presentation and I’m demoted, and I flunk the course and have to take it over. I saw a fun example of this on “This Is Us” as a married couple tries to compete for worst case scenario usually involving a parenting decision.
What is the most likely outcome? My employee makes improvements and we have a better working relationship, my presentation goes well with only a few hiccups, and I get a B in the class which slightly drops my GPA.

This helps keep me from dwelling on what could go wrong to imaging the best; realistically facing the worst and then relaxing into what is most likely.

Reframing. The words that I use to describe a situation can influence the way my body perceives it. If I say, “I’m nervous about this new client as opposed to I’m excited about this new client.” My brain is deciding I’m on high alert in the first part and curious in the second part. For many weeks leading up to a cross country trip last year I referred to putting my beloved dog Baci into prison for 4 weeks. Imagine how that made me feel. When I told a colleague about it he said, “That boarding place? That’s a resort”. When I reframed it into a resort, I was less stressed out and more excited (not nervous) to drop Baci off. My good friend Mark sold his family home and while it was daunting, he changed his language to be “I’m excited to clear the garage or cull through my parent’s books.” The language we use in our head and how we frame it is very important to resetting our mind.

Role play. It’s extremely helpful to role play or practice a difficult discussion or presentation. I can play in my mind what I want to say but saying it out loud either by myself to a mirror or to a trusted colleague or to a coach can be super helpful in dampening down one’s nerves. It’s helpful to work the kinks out. I do this a lot with my clients and I can give helpful feedback like, “You said “um” six times and you rambled a bit in the last sentence Is there a way to tighten it up?” I personally like to have bullets if I’m going to speak to a crowd or facilitate to a group but you may want flash cards or talking points. Figure out what makes you most comfortable and practice it to reset to calm.

Comfortable. If I know I’m going into something that might make me anxious like a performance discussion with an employee or speaking to a new group or taking an exam, I try to make sure I am as comfortable as possible while matching the situation (I’m not wearing pajamas to a speaking engagement). As Francis Kuehnle wrote for Healthline, “Aromatherapy is thought to help activate certain receptors in your brain, potentially easing anxiety.” Wear a scent that makes you feel good. If a shirt or blouse has a tag that rubs against your skin or you are constantly tugging on a top, wear something that makes you feel confident and comfortable. Being comfortable will help you reset into calm.

These are more short-term ways to deal with stress and anxiety. There are many regimes that can help with your ability to cope like yoga, meditation, walking outside, better sleep and reducing alcohol and caffeine. I’ve made many lifestyle changes over the last ten years and I have to say I’m much less anxious and tend to roll with the punches more easily. My suggestion is to try out one of these and see if it has an impact. How do you reduce stress?

We sail within a vast sphere, ever drifting in uncertainty, driven from end to end. – Blaise Pascal

Jim Collins is the culprit of a concept; The BHAG [Big Hairy Audacious Goal]. It is the setting of a huge gnarly goal that is set ten or twenty years down the road…and, in theory, the entire company is expected to start paddling in the same direction toward it It turns out, that’s not the best approach.

According to Oliver Burkeman, in his book, The Antidote, “We tend to imagine that the special skill of an entrepreneur lies in having a powerfully original idea and then fighting to turn that vision into reality.” But in a relevant study, entrepreneurs rarely bore this out. Their long-term goal often remained a mystery to them. Overwhelmingly, a goals first approach in one direction was not the ultimate approach taken. I have to say this is quite a relief. I don’t necessarily need to know what my business should look like in 15 years. In fact, I think having a grandiose goal can make you start seeing myopically and suddenly you don’t realize that you are rowing towards a waterfall because you haven’t noticed the current.

A brilliant example in Oliver Burkeman’s book is the fateful day in May of 1996 when 8 climbers perished heading to the summit of Mount Everest. Burkeman posits that the deaths were not due to a storm on the mountain but that 34 climbers from three different groups, American, New Zealand and Taiwan were all headed to the summit at the same time. This caused a bottleneck on Hillary Step which was later referred to as “The Traffic Jam”. Three different parties were headed to the summit and had not arrived at the summit by 2 PM which is the ABSOLUTE latest you need to arrive at the summit before turning around and heading back down. There were climbers headed to the summit well after 3 PM. No one wanted to turn around and fail to achieve their BHAG. They had Summit Fever and eight of them paid with their lives.

So what are we supposed to do? How can we achieve with a manageable perspective? Here are some ideas:

1. Embrace. Embrace uncertainty. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. So much of fear and anxiety is based on uncertainty. But guess what…there is only uncertainty. The more you strive to keep things constant, comfortable, certain, the more uncomfortable you will become; because you will ultimately enforce chaos. You cannot control the future. Even if you happen to be Warren Buffet or Bill Gates. There is no one with their finger on the switch. Businesses fail, accidents happen and deadlines get missed. Stuff happens and it’s not going to stop. Embrace it.

2. Horizon. Make sure you reign in your horizons. I heard an interesting speaker last week and he was pointing out that just some three years ago companies were making 5 year strategic plans…now it’s 6 months. No one can predict what will happen in 12 months let alone 5 years. Forward thinking innovative companies have given up on the 5 or 3 year strategic plan, there are just too many variables in the environment (i.e. innovation, hurricanes, terrorism, etc.) There is no crystal ball. Get through this quarter. Finish the semester. Run the first mile of the marathon. Shorten your horizon.

3. Correct. Make course corrections. Let go of the perfectionism that you planned on paying off your credit cards by 8/1 but you just needed to buy a new transmission. Move it out to 9/1…or 10/1. It’s OK. This happens with clients I coach all the time. In fact, I think every client I have ever coached has had to change something about their goals whether it was the date they wanted it complete, how they were measuring success or if the goal was even reasonable with the current economy. A sailboat doesn’t sail in a straight line, it criss crosses the water finding the most advantageous wind and finally ends up at its destination. Be open to course corrections.

4. Worst Case. What is the worst case scenario? Sometimes we get so wrapped up in trying to be optimistic that we fail to look at the worst case scenario. In the case of Mount Everest, obviously, death became an option. It’s healthy to look at the worst outcome, if at least, to allay your fears. So if you are giving a presentation, perhaps the worst that can happen is that the audience laughs at you and you are embarrassed. Painful but not life threatening. You fall short on revenue, so you need to dig into your savings. You don’t get your first choice job (or college, car, house, partner) there is always another option. Examining what can go wrong will help you move forward, forewarned and forearmed. Look at the worst case.

5. Goal Odyssey. Burkeman suggests that everyone on the mountain that fateful day was focusing their resources on the goal much like Homer in the Odyssey. There was no turning back, and every resource was used to achieve the goal. Leaders need to be open to information that runs counter to the end result. If we have an audacious goal for revenue but we have high turnover (employees leaving) or poor customer service ratings…we need to take a second look at the goal. We have to be open to changing the end result based on the feedback we get along the way. This also means we need to be open to feedback. If everyone is smiling and nodding…you probably aren’t receiving all the information you need. Make sure you have someone (spouse, assistant or co-worker) who is willing to speak up and let you know there aren’t enough oxygen bottles to make it to the top and back. Give up the goal odyssey.

6. Outcome. You need to let go of the outcome. My daughter has been in the middle of three different directions in her career this week. Two options involve moving back to North Carolina. The third involves staying in New York City in a job that is completely in alignment with her career goals. I have been struggling with uncertainty and letting go of the outcome for the last ten days. She, on the other hand, is completely open and flexible. The anticipation of the outcome is unbearable. I just need to sit back and let it happen. Whatever “it” is. Let it go. What will be will be. Let go of the outcome.

I’ve worked with leaders who were completely inflexible on the revenue or the cost of goods sold target. One of the caveats of any SMART goal is the “A” for attainable. If there are changes in the environment that make the goal unattainable…change it. There is nothing more demoralizing than not being able to attain the yearlong goal you are working on. It’s not motivating folks, it’s destroying their morale. Embrace uncertainty. It’s the new black.