Take the Stairs 👍

You’ve procrastinated all morning.  You keep checking your inbox or Instagram feed and haven’t touched that project you’ve been meaning to work on.  One more cup of coffee.  One more like on Facebook.  You’re staring at the staircase and then looking down at your phone to see if there is one more thing that you can use to distract yourself from actually, finally taking that step.

My dear friends Susannah and Janine on our trip to Paris

This has been me this morning.  I have set this time aside to write and all I want to do is putz around.  I keep opening my inbox thinking, “What are you doing here again? Get to work!”  I am never going to get to the top of the stairs unless I at least start.

So here are some things to keep in mind to get you going:

  • Time blocks. What really got me writing this morning was knowing that this was my time block to write.  I have a commitment to myself that I will get a post done by noon on the weekends.  It’s now 10:39 AM and I have to start.  I have to spend at least 30 minutes on it even if I have no idea what I am going to write.  So I write.  I know some of my clients have set up time blocks for returning phone calls, responding to emails, exercising and being with their families.  Set up time blocks and make a commitment to your work.
  • Have a vision.  What does the top of the stairs look like to you?  My vision is “Make a difference in people’s lives”.  Writing these posts aligns with that vision.  Even if one person reads this post and changes one thing in their life because of it, then it’s worth 45 minutes of my time to make that happen.  Know why you are doing what you are doing and align your efforts with it. How will that production report affect your organization?  How will that conversation with your co-worker move you forward in attaining your vision?  Line up your actions with your vision.
  • Frequently the steps aren’t easy.  I have struggled with this.  When I was in Paris several years ago, I ended up having to take a spiral staircase to many of my destinations.  I’m really tall and have large feet, so trudging up a small spiral staircase is not only difficult but I can’t see the top.  When we were visiting Sainte-Chapelle (a cathedral built in 1248), my friend and Francophile, Susannah, pointed to a very narrow stone spiral staircase to travel up.  I figured there is no way this building (built 8 centuries ago) is worth being claustrophobic or on my tip toes for.  I was wrong.  Against my better judgment, I followed Susannah up the staircase.  The top of the stairs revealed one of the most heart-stopping, breathtaking, stained glass-encrusted spaces I have ever been in. Take the steps–the view may surprise you.
  • Step into fear.  My friend Janine and I went to the Eiffel Tower the day after the Brussel airport bombing.  We had tickets to what I thought would be the 1st landing of the tower.  I’m not crazy about heights and I figured that would work just fine.  It turns out we had tickets to the top.  When we got to the top, there was another staircase to go up. Janine was game to go up and I was fine where I was.  She ran up the stairs and came back down to get me. “Cath, you gotta come!”  I stepped into my fear, took the steps and saw a Paris I will never forget.  If I reframed it as a challenge rather than a fear, it became much easier to conquer.
  • Have support.  I’ve already shown you two examples where my friends have supported me in venturing up staircases with terrific results.  These same friends are in “Cathy’s Brain Trust” and they give me weekly feedback on my posts.  I feel accountable to them to continue to write.  Who is depending on you?  Who are you supported by?  When pushing through to your highest aspirations, you need to make sure you have support.  My daughter is part of that group and she knows me well. Writing is definitely a challenge and I know she’s always cheering me on.
  • Be open to the unknown.  Frequently we don’t know exactly where we are headed.  We have a vision but there is so much that is unseen from the bottom of the staircase.  My friend Susannah and I were hiking in Haystack State Park.  At the end of the hike was Haystack Tower…with a spiral staircase no less.  It was a hot, humid day and I think the last thing I  wanted to do was go up the tower’s two flights of stairs.  Susannah assured me that the views were at the top of the tower.  So-you guessed it-I went up the two flights and the payoff was a view of three states at once: MA, CT and NY.  Stick it out and it will pay off.
  • One step at a time.  Many times I have clients who are frozen from being overwhelmed.  They want to take action, but when they decide they want to write a book, it’s paralyzing.  They can’t take any step because a step like “write a book” is not easily done in a morning.  The key is to break it down into chunks.  Bite-size chunks like “write an outline”, “decide what software to use” or “research books on writing non-fiction for one hour”.  Break it down one step at a time so that the step can be accomplished in 90 minutes or less.

This isn’t always easy when there are so many distractions in life.  It’s easy to think that skimming through and putting out fires is getting you to where you want to go.  Figure out which staircase you want to go up and start with one small step.  The view from the top is going to be awesome.

Do It Scared

You want to ask for a raise from your boss but you chicken out. There’s no way she’ll give you one. You want to get on the new project team but put off asking. Pretty soon, the project is launched and you are sitting on the sidelines. You want to run in that 5k but you have never done one before. You are afraid everyone will be laughing at you (or at least judging you). Fear can stop us in our tracks.

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I recently read Take the Stairs by Rory Vaden and he espoused, “Do it scared.” Being scared can paralyze you into inaction. I have been paralyzed by fear before and I realized that I did decide that I would do it scared. So Vaden’s words resonated for me. If you wait for the fear to dissipate, well…that could be a long wait. There are some things I am still afraid of. One example that comes to mind is a bridge in Western North Carolina that is called “Mile High Swinging Bridge.” I saw my son and brother walk across that perilously high moving bridge, but my acrophobia hijacked my brain. I just couldn’t do it. I froze. On the other hand, there are many examples of how I did step into fear, and it’s made me a stronger, more confident person.

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So here are ways to Do It Scared:

 

  • Reframe it as a challenge.  In Kelly McGonigal’s book, The Upside of Stress, she writes that instead of saying you are nervous about the speech you are giving tomorrow, reframe it instead into a positive, like “I’m excited about the speech I’m giving tomorrow.” I actually explained this to my husband after I read the book and he holds me accountable for my language. So if I say, “I’m nervous about this facilitation I’m doing tomorrow.” He’ll say, “Aren’t you excited about the facilitation tomorrow?” This helps me regroup and dampen down the fear.

 

  • Find your why.  I have a white board in my office that says “Make a Difference in People’s Lives!” This is my why. So when I’m doing something scary like facilitating or speaking with a group  I am not familiar with, I make sure I set my attention to make a difference in their lives. I want at least one person in that room to have a takeaway to improve their life. That’s not as intimidating as “I want everyone in the room to love me.” I am just there to change one person’s life. If there is more? Great. But one person out of that roomful of seventy people having a take away is definitely possible.

 

  • Don’t wait to be comfortable.  Vaden wrote, “Do it uncomfortable.” I have fallen for this before. I’ll want to wait until all the conditions are perfect, but perfect never comes. Pretty soon procrastination takes over. I’m waiting on one more data point. One more piece of feedback. When I was standing next to that bridge, I was waiting for the wind to stop. It didn’t. Comfortable never comes so you never take the first step.

 

  • Find an accomplice.  The first time I spoke in another state, I brought my husband along. I knew I was going to be nervous because it was a big group, and the facilitation I was doing was new to me. I wanted support, so I brought it with me. I think I might have walked across that bridge if my husband was there to hold my hand. Wind or no wind. Put together a personal board of directors–your team to help guide your life and/or business. I have “Cathy’s Brain Trust”, who help me with topic choices and editing my blog. I feel accountable to them to have a new post every week. Having support helps me face my fears.

 

  • Jump.  It’s funny but on that same trip to Grandfather Mountain and that darn bridge, my son and I did a zip line trip. I had never been on a zip line before but it sounded like fun. Of course, I hadn’t really thought it through. Which was probably a good idea. First you sign your life away. Then they start suiting you up with a hard hat, gloves and straps. Next thing you know you are following a group of 8 people up to the platform to take the leap. Maybe I didn’t want to chicken out in front of my son. Maybe I didn’t want to chicken out on myself. I took the leap and it was a blast. Sometimes thinking it through paralyzes you. Jump.

 

  • One day at a time.  I usually have a facilitation or speaking gig a few times a month. There was a time where I worried about it for weeks before, especially if there were five different topics scheduled that month. I learned that by looking at it a week ahead and preparing (i.e. review the materials, gather flip charts and PowerPoints, post it notes, etc.), I spend less time worrying about the event. I felt more confident and don’t let the fear of public speaking hijack me. Prepare one day at a time.

 

This is not to say that every event has been flawless. Sometimes I talk too fast or forget an important piece. But that’s OK. At least I stepped into fear and did it scared. The more I do it, the easier it gets. Oh and that darn bridge? It’s still on my bucket list. What do you need to do scared?