showing up – Workplace Navigator

This is my 104th post. That means I’ve been showing up every week with a post for two years. This is not what I envisioned when I started. I gave it six months mentally. I decided to write a blog for six months and then make a decision. Well I did the first part. I wrote a post every week for six months but I never made a decision. I just kept showing up. We all do that. Make a decision by not making a decision. Success by default.

I started an exercise program 5 weeks ago. I show up everyday and work out. I do three mental games on Luminosity every day for about 3 minutes; I’ve been doing that for about 4 months. I meditate every day for 10 minutes; I’ve been doing that for over 18 months. I didn’t do it all in one day. On January 1st I didn’t decide to start writing a blog, working out, mediating and doing some mental games. Sounds like a lot. It couldn’t be maintained if I did it all at once. I would be overwhelmed and burned out. I added something to my routine gradually over time; small incremental changes over time and showing up. Once it’s part of my routine it’s hard to shake. It’s what I do. I know how to show up.

So how do you do it? How do you show up? Here are some tips:

1. The 20 Second Rule. Set things up so it only takes 20 seconds. Shawn Achor wrote about this in the “Happiness Advantage”. If your sneakers are by your bed or your meditation app is on the first page of your phone or your dvd is primed with the workout you want to do…you will do it. Take the clarinet out of the closet, the book you want to read off the shelf, find that recipe you’ve always said you would make. Whatever you want to “show up” for better be easy to reach, find or access. I started writing my blog after my husband refinished an office for me. I have my space and it’s easy to access my “blog” folder. Showing up should only be 20 seconds away.

2. Buddy. Find a buddy to hold you accountable. Periodically, my son (who is a freshman in college) will text me in the middle of the night and ask me to wake him up in the morning at some designated hour. He will add “and make sure I stay up!” Hmmm. How am I supposed to do this from an 11 hour drive away…throw a shoe? At the appointed hour, I ask him to send a photo of the elevator (his dorm is on the 11th floor) within 15 minutes. It works. He knows he can count on me. I’m his accountability buddy for early morning workouts. Find your accountability buddy; someone to nudge you when you need it.

3. Bucket. When possible, set up routines when you have a full bucket. A full willpower bucket. As Charles Duhigg illustrates in the “Power of Habit”. We all start with a full bucket in the morning of willpower. Slowly but surely it leaks away. The more we test our will power by trying out a new diet (say only eat cabbage all day) or trying to quit smoking…we quickly deplete our willpower reservoir. So, if you want to start a new routine or habit, try it early in the day before you start to be tested or try only one new habit at a time. So don’t quit smoking, go on a cabbage diet and start writing a blog on the same day. Really bad idea. Keep in mind the level of your will power bucket.

4. Chunks. Make big things into small chunks. How do you eat an elephant? You start with an eyelash. When I coach folks, this is something that only the coachee can decide. If I tell the coachee, well, finish the project by Friday… they will not lift a finger. They need to decide how they want to chunk it. Some spend 15 minutes a day, some will have their to-do list for the week by 10 AM Sunday, some have an app for that, some start on the top shelf, the left side of the drawer. Chunk it up. But make sure you are chunking it the way you like it. Would you let your friend cut up your food on your plate for you? Nope. Carve it into the chunks you want.

5. Reflect. Reflect back on what you did…not what you didn’t. I’ve had clients come into a coaching session and be completely dejected…”I didn’t get anything done”. Really? By the end of the session, when we really look back, they’ve completed every action item, frequently over-completed, but they are focusing on the one thing they didn’t get to. I only exercised two times this week and I wanted to exercise four times. Don’t dwell on the one thing you didn’t do. You are human. Bask in the fact that you completed so many other things and you are moving forward. Reflect and acknowledge your accomplishments.

I never imagined two years ago that I would have a thriving blog with hundreds of followers and viewers from over 100 countries. But it’s a habit now. I show up and write.

What do you want to show up for?

I finally checked off a bucket list item on Saturday. I finished my first half marathon. Whew. What a relief. I must say it wasn’t easy but the sense of accomplishment is amazing. I can remember when the goal first came out of my mouth. I was working with an amazing Coach named Stephen Starkey. We were working through a Brain Based Coaching process and I had to come up with three challenging goals to accomplish in 6 months. I had initially figured I’d set my goal as running 10 miles. Period. Stop. Mostly because I had run 10 miles before and I figured I could easily attain that goal. Then Steve said, “Is that challenging enough?” Whoa. I knew in my heart it wasn’t. It was a softball goal. So then I said “I want to run a half marathon”. What? Where in the world did that come from? I wanted to grab the words with my hands and put them back in my mouth. Did I mention I’m not a runner? I’m a really slow jogger and, at that point, I was lucky to run …er jog two miles at a time. It’s amazing how one coach and one question can prompt you to push yourself.

So it’s one thing to set the goal, it’s a whole other animal to actually finish; to cross the finish line. How many New Year’s resolutions have you not accomplished? Granted, there are folks out there with the stamina and chutzpa to just go run 13.1 miles without any training. God bless them all. But I’m over 50, not exactly svelte and it was going to take months of training to be able to survive the race and not leave it on a gurney. This part was definitely accomplished with the steadfast help of another amazing Coach, Travis Marsh. With his help, he kept me accountable to my goal and helped me plan out the action items to achieve it. Having a coach made the difference.

So what here are the steps to crossing the finish line:

1. Challenging. Go after something challenging. Go for the uncharted territory. If you are writing a blog, then write a book. If you have your Associate’s degree, then get your Bachelor’s. If you raised $500 for Cancer last year, raise $2,000 this year. If you’ve run a 5K, then sign up for a 10k. Push yourself. It definitely helps to have a coach asking you, “Is that challenging enough?” Go big or go home.

2. Google. Google or research best practices. This is invariably the first step for most of the clients I coach. Find an article on how to write a book. Research what school’s are the best for pottery making. See where the best areas are to go reef diving. Get a book on tango dancing. Figure out which half marathon works best for you based on location and your personal commitments. Invest in some research.

3. Plan. Plan the steps to get there. Within a few weeks of setting the goal, I had the strategies and some action steps already planned out. Travis helped me break it up into manageable chunks. I had my weekly long runs scheduled out all the way up to race day. If you have a goal that does not require planning, then go back to step one and start over. It’s not challenging enough.

4. Execute. This is where you are going to have to show up. I have run three times a week since I set the goal. Rain. Heat. Humidity. Darkness. Plan on adversity. As it turns out, the day of the race was overcast with drizzle, a temperature of 70 degrees and about 95% humidity. Not ideal running conditions. Although my mother figured I would call it off due to weather, I knew there was no way I was giving up on the goal. I found a rain poncho and took a plastic baggie for my phone. I had spent 5 months running and planning for this day. Adversity or not, I was going to show up!

5. Envision. In the four days that lead up to the race, I was constantly trying to squelch my fear. Fortunately, my son had sent me a YouTube link of Jimmy Valvano and the 1983 NC State Basketball team called “Survive and Advance”. One of the most incredible things in the video, is that Jimmy V would have the team practice cutting down the nets (which is what happens for the winning basketball team after a championship game) every year. Use an entire practice to cut down the nets. First, of course, he had set the challenging goal of winning a national championship, and then, he made sure the team was envisioning success. I started envisioning crossing the finish line, putting a 13.1 sticker on my car, and having the medal around my neck. Envision success.

6. Support. Make sure you have support. Whether it’s someone to underwrite your education, drive you to the soccer tournament or proof read your manuscript. I can assure you that if my husband had not been available to pick up a dozen Krispy Kreme’s after a 14 mile run or been there at mile 12 of the race to help encourage me to the finish, I might still have finished but his support made it easier. As well as the countless (I mean more than 100) people along the race route and in the race, who said “You’ve got this” or “Good job”, a high five or a thumbs up. It carried me to the end.

7. Do it. It’s going to take tenacity. My son has spent three years planning and working towards running track for an NCAA Division 1 team. He works out everyday. He applied to the schools that fit his criteria. He ultimately went to the school he had the best chance of making the team. He contacted (pestered) the coach. When he got to the University of Miami, he busted his hump at every practice. He made the team. His tenacity and work ethic paid off. Just do it.

Now I’m in the enviable position of being unfettered. I haven’t decided my next goal but I feel like anything is possible. So get out there and cross that finish line.