5 Secrets to Managing Up

On January 28, 2022January 21, 2022 By Cathy NoiceIn Cathy NoiceLeave a comment

I’ve been a leadership coach for over ten years. Most of my clients are either middle managers or high potentials and one of the biggest issues clients bring to me is how to manage up. Managing up can be described as a method of career development that’s based on consciously working for the mutual benefit of yourself and your boss. It can be a struggle for newly promoted managers or newly acquired managers or individual contributors looking for a leg up on the next project or promotion. Interacting with your boss can be fraught with insecurity and vulnerabilities. On one hand you want to be confident and knowledgeable, but you also don’t want to step on any toes or overreach. You want to be persuasive but not overbearing. It’s a delicate balance.

Here are my five go to tools for managing up:

Power Pose

Ever since I read Amy Cuddy’s book, Presence, and viewed her Ted Talk on the power pose, I have suggested it to my students taking the SHRM-SCP exam, my clients applying for a new position and to my clients who are headed into a managing up conversation with their boss. Basically, the mind follows what the body says. If you stand like Wonder Woman or Superman (think hands confidently on your hips, shoulders back, feet shoulder width apart and head held high) for two minutes, your brain starts to follow what your body is telling it, i.e., you are a bad@$$. I have personally done this before a first date, in a bathroom stall before a job interview, and right before a public speaking engagement. It’s been proven that your cortisol (stress hormone) goes down and your testosterone increases. Increases in testosterone helps improve mood and health in both men and women. Before you head into that uncomfortable conversation on getting on that plum project, try the power pose.

What would it take?

Over thirty years ago, I wanted to get a promotion to a General Manager position for the restaurant chain I was working for at the time. I knew it was between me and a guy named Randy. Randy had more longevity with the company and we both had recently been through a management development course. I set up a meeting with my boss’ boss and said “What would it take for me to be the next General Manager?” He suggested a few things like learning the inventory system so I could handle month end on my own. Inside of three months, I was promoted over Randy. I firmly believe that if I hadn’t asked “What would it take?” I never would have gotten that promotion. From reading the book “How Women Rise”, I know that women can assume that their boss knows about their hard work, merits and aspirations. By asking, “What would it take?” you are clearly putting a stake in the ground of what you want and asking for support in getting there.

Third person

Talking about yourself in the third person can help control your nerves before having a one-on-one with your boss. It’s easy when we use self-talk in the first person to trash your self-esteem. “I can’t believe I’m late again, I’m an idiot!” “Ugh, I’m never going to get that promotion, I’m not good enough.” When I switch to the third person, I’m more careful, positive and respectful as if I’m talking to a good friend. ” Cathy, you’ve got this.” It’s also helpful in keeping rumination at bay. It puts distance between you and your objective and calms your nerves.

Excited and Curious

I’ve learned to rephrase anxiety or concerns into excitement or curiosity. It’s a way to reframe from disempowering thoughts like “I’m too nervous to talk to my boss about the widget project” to empowering thoughts like “I’m excited to talk to my boss about the widget project.” I change my self-narrative from “I’m afraid to move to a new town” to “I’m curious to move to a new town.” The use of the language we use in our head can be either debilitating or empowering. I try to use empowering ones.

A few strong points

I recently read Think Again by Adam Grant. In the book he takes a look at Harish Natarajan who has won three dozen debate tournaments. One of the key takeaways from Natarajan was to focus in on just a few solid points to persuade your audience, in this case, your boss. Before reading the book, I could barrage my boss with twelve reasons why we should add a new benefit for our employees. It turns out that if there is weakness in a single reason, it causes collateral damage to the rest. The audience (your boss) focuses on the one weakness. If you base your rationale on one or two solid reasons versus eleven good reasons and one weak reason, the solid reasons win out. It’s quality versus quantity. Focus on one or two strong points when having the managing up conversation.

It’s ironic that most of these secrets are about managing yourself and your own mindset instead of managing your boss or your boss’ boss. Heading into a conversation with your boss is more of an inside game on controlling your clarity of thought and emotions through your own self talk. What are your secrets to managing up?

Sit Up Straight. How to Take Up Space.

On May 21, 2016May 23, 2016 By Cathy NoiceIn Workplace NavigatorLeave a comment

I had the pleasure of hearing Amy Cuddy speak last week at the WorkHuman Conference. Amy has the second most viewed TedTalk and there is a good reason why. She has terrific advice on how to be able to handle pressure without succumbing to fear and anxiety. It was quite the thought provoking talk on how to be “Present.”

The interesting thing is that Amy models what she speaks. She walks the talk in front of a crowd of some 1000 onlookers. She is a petite woman but regardless she is a power house on the stage. In addition, she points to the science to back up her claims and I’m going to outline them here. Sit Up Straight

Sitting up straight and other advice on being more powerful:

The 2 Minute Power Pose. I’ve been giving this advice to my students at Duke University for the last few years. Right before we take the final exam, I have everyone stand up and pose like Wonder Woman or Super Man (whichever makes you feel more powerful) and we count to 120. Studies have shown that doing the power pose for 2 minutes increases testosterone which makes you more assertive, confident, risk tolerant and competitive. In addition, your cortisol drops with makes you less stressed, less anxious, more secure, and less fearful. One of my students said after doing the power pose, “I’m going to do every day.” What’s two minutes if you can go through the day more powerful? So I’ve been working on how I sleep as well. It’s not like your mind isn’t reading your body while it sleeps. No more fetal position for me! I’ve been working on the power pose while I sleep.

Sit Up Straight. Turns out your mother’s advice was correct. As Amy said, your mind and body are constantly conversing. So whatever your body is emulating, the mind is readying. She didn’t like “fake it till you make it” but rather “fake it until you become it.” She asked everyone to look at their posture. Suddenly we were all sitting up in our seats. I’m sitting up straight as I write this. When I sit up straight I feel more alert, more authoritative, more powerful. One small change can make the difference in your entire day. So imagining a string at the back of your neck and pull yourself up.

Don’t Cross Your Arms. This one is SO difficult for me. It makes you appear defensive. I am constantly crossing my arms, especially if a room is cold. But when Amy modeled crossing her arms on stage? She looked smaller. Timid and weak. So now I imagine myself in that important interview or project meeting. If it happens to be in a cold room? Or just by habit I cross my arms? It’s not likely to be successful. So habit or no. Cold room or no. Keep those arms open.

Think about how you walk. A power walk has more of an exaggerated swing to the arms. Your legs have a longer stride. You posture is tall and erect. Walking with purpose tells your body that you are powerful. You are bold. You are in control. I’ve recounted a story before from my twenties where I was lost in Harlem one summer evening and being followed by some young men. I turned on my power walk (I didn’t realize at the time that it would have a powerful effect). Nobody was messing with me. My fear and anxiety were dampened down and I got to where I was going safely without incident.

Own your space. I’m a tall woman. I’ve spent a lot of life trying to appear petite. To deny my presence if you will. I’d find myself around petite women and I try to shrink myself. This is not productive. I remember in my final coaching class with CRR Global, I was facilitating with a tall, charismatic man name Michael. At the end, I remember the insightful instructor, Marita Fridjhon said, “This is a power couple.” I realized that I had taken on Michael’s power. I owned my space, my taller than the average woman body. Accept your body large or small and own it.

Don’t fill in the void with your voice. Another huge learning experience for me is to accept silence. Powerful people don’t fill space with their voice. They lower their voice and speak slowly. As Amy says in her book Presence, “When people feel powerful or are assigned to high-power roles in experiments, they unconsciously lower their voice frequency, or pitch, making their voices expand and sound ‘bigger.'” Our voices are affected by anxiety and threat- both of which cause us to speak at a high pitch.” Power up and lower your voice.

Be powerful.

6 Techniques to Boost Your Personal Power.

On April 23, 2016April 25, 2016 By Cathy NoiceIn Workplace NavigatorLeave a comment

You walk into a conference and don’t recognize a single soul. You quickly grab a seat in the back for an early escape and avoid making eye contact. You sit down and focus on your only available friend…your phone. Instead of reaching out to your neighbor sitting next to you, you shuffle your papers and check out Facebook notifications. You are isolated and feeling small. It’s time to regain your personal power.

I just finished giving a webinar yesterday on communication skills. The way it was set up was that I had to talk continuously for 75 minutes without a break with my slides. The only way to have interaction with the attendees was through a chat box. The first time I gave one of these presentations, I swore I would never do it again. It feels like talking to a lamp post. So why did I do it again? I decided to power up. My performance did a 180 and so did my reviews. It was the exact same presentation but this time I brought my power. So how did I do that?

Here ya go:

Take on a power pose. I take on a power pose every time I have to speak or lead an important meeting. As written in the 3 Elements of Charisma, “Studies have shown that by simply standing in a Power Pose for two minutes, testosterone levels increase, while cortisol levels decrease, making you feel more confident and less stressed. When you feel more confident, you act more powerful.” So my default is to stand like Wonder Woman with my hands on my hips for two minutes. I suggested this to my webinar participants forgetting there might be men on the line and one of them sent a message “Is Superman OK?” I had to laugh. “Sure! Superman, Batman, The Hulk. It’s all good.” Pick your superhero and power up.

Walk with purpose. I recently read Adam Braun’s Pencils of Promise, in which he starts each chapter with a mantra and in that chapter describes how he used it. He found himself trying to get out of Thailand and on to Nepal to meet his dad when he was gravely ill. He was sweating profusely and when he went through security his body temperature set off an alarm. The authorities told him he had to go to the hospital and pointed him to a woman. He mustered up his confidence, put his shoulders back, walked with purpose and approached the woman. He told her that the authorities wanted her to take him to his flight. She did. Crisis averted.

Where you are, is exactly where you need to be. One of the most frightening experiences of my life was getting disoriented when I got off a subway station on the west side of Manhattan. Instead of heading to West End Avenue on 104^th street, I headed towards Amsterdam Avenue. It was a hot, humid summer evening and EVERYONE was on the street. A crowd of young men started following me and were speaking a language I didn’t understand. When I realized I was going the wrong direction, I decided it would be a really bad idea to turn around. So I ended up putting my shoulders back and acting like I knew exactly where I was and ended up walking the full block (and it was one of those double wide blocks…it felt like an eternity) taking a left and walking all the way back on 105^th street. The men eventually faded back and I made it to my destination. So when you walk in that conference and don’t know a soul; you’re exactly where you need to be. Own it.

Set your intention. At a conference with Christine Kane before going on stage, she goes off alone and centers herself. She sets her intention. I now do the same thing. I set my intention that it’s all about my client. It’s all about the participants. I want them all to take at least one thing and find it useful. My intention is to serve. When I do that, it takes the fear away. My focus becomes about them and not me. Set your intention for your audience’s best outcome.

Smile. I had the privilege of having Jackie Kellso instruct me at a Dale Carnegie class. They videotaped us speaking. Jackie kept emphasizing that I needed to smile. In the end, there were 7 video clips of me and the metamorphic change that happened after three days was amazing. When I smiled? The entire speech was enlivened. My body language changed dramatically. So when you walk into that interview? Or that high stakes meeting? Be sure to smile.

Have a talisman. I have strange little habits. I drink coffee from a red cup when I have a big meeting planned. I have a particular necklace that my husband gave me that I wear when I need to feel powerful. I try and wear red if I’m going into a negotiation. I seem to recall that Ronald Reagan would call on the women in the press core that wore red. A talisman is a ring or stone that is believed to have magical powers. It’s like a rabbit’s foot. It doesn’t matter if does or doesn’t have actual magical powers. It just matters that you feel more powerful.

Using all these techniques to power up before and during a presentation is why that dreaded webinar turned around. I now look forward to it. I sit up in my chair with my headset on and smile. I know the folks on the line can’t see me but I am positive they can feel my power.