journal – Workplace Navigator

You arrive home from work and completely forgot to stop at the bank, the store, the pharmacy, the _____. How did I space that out? You wake up at 2 AM and relive the outcome of the meeting with your boss, coworker, direct report, ______. You not only relive it one or two times–you relive it twenty times by the time it’s 2:15 AM. Not a good night’s sleep. You open your front door after a full day’s work and all you want to do is zone out with a box of Oreos and Grey’s Anatomy reruns. The last thing you want to do is hear about your partner’s lousy day. Not a very healthy or positive end to your day.

There is an answer for this end-of-day malaise and ensuing erosion to your health and happiness. I subscribe to an app called Whil. One of the series on the app is called “Live Fully Every Day” by Peter Bonanno. I have been using his “End Your Workday Cleanly” for about a week and the transition from work to home has vastly improved. Instead of waking up at all hours of the night with a huge to-do list for work, replaying the not-so productive production meeting, or trying to escape into Never Neverland when arriving at home–I’ve found I am finally able to bring closure to the day.

Here are ideas for clearing out your day:

Journal at workday’s end. This has been a real life saver for me. I sleep better and am able to transition into my life at home much more energized. Bonanno recommends writing this with pen and paper. Melanie Pinola equally recognizes the importance of handwriting your thoughts in her Life Hacker article: “The Wall Street Journal discusses several studies that show students who took handwritten notes outperformed those who typed their notes on their computers. Compared with those who type their notes, people who write them out in longhand appear to learn better, retain information longer, and more readily grasp new ideas, according to experiments by other researchers who also compared note-taking techniques.” So take out a piece of paper at the end of the workday and answer these prompts:

Journal Prompt:

What I am feeling right now is…

What’s left for me to do another time is…

What I’m grateful for today is…

This is a great brain dump that clears you head. And it ends on a high note by highlighting what you are grateful for, which is a positive punch to the end of the workday.

Transition when arriving home to a quick walk with a friend or significant other. As Bonanno pointed out, he and his wife walked at days end, but since they were not journaling, the walks took forever and started to turn into a pity party at times. After starting to journal at the end of the work day, the walk with his spouse took maybe 10 minutes of recounting the day. It became a much more positive experience. Positivity is good and helps your evening get off to a great start. So you’ve done your brain dump, you’ve connected with a loved one and now you are going to have a much better evening.

10 minutes of daily planning. At your day’s end, do what Stephen Covey has espoused for decades. Take ten minutes to plan your next day. This along with the journaling helps you schedule the various things you never got to and places them in plain sight for the next day of work. I’ve been doing this for at least a decade and I am rarely caught off guard by missing something. It’s also part of Choice 3 of the Franklin Covey’s Five Choices to Extraordinary Productivity. Couple this with 30 minutes of weekly planning, and both will keep you on target with your personal vision and mission.

Self-reflection on a daily basis is a way of acknowledging what you have accomplished. It’s so easy to get caught up in what you didn’t do instead of what you actually did. Instead of thinking about “what went wrong”, think of “what didn’t go wrong”. The glass is half full.

Most people have some point of feeling grateful; like when the rain finally stops; when they get the overdue raise; when the dog is finally house broken. Sometimes it’s like pounding our head into the wall and when it finally stops, we feel grateful. We can wait for the pain to stop to finally reap our reward. Finally, the house is done; the project went live; the promotion is announced. These can be once-in-a-lifetime, periodic, or once-a-year events. Being grateful for these events is important but it’s not a practice of gratitude.

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A practice of gratitude is finding the joys of life; the little things along with the big things. My dog lying on her back on the couch without a care in the world as Hurricane Florence rages outside. The first sip of coffee at 5:10 AM. The warm embrace. The smile. The knowing glance. The warm melody of the cello playing Bach. There are thousands of things each day that pass by either noticed or not. Gratitude is the butterfly net to catch them.

Here is how to put gratitude into practice:

Reframe the event or issue

I first learned this during my Results Based Coaching with the Neuroleadership Group some seven years ago. Reframing is changing the context in which you view something. Typically, it’s turning something less desirable into something desirable. Changing the glass from being half empty into half full or half empty to thank goodness we have water. Having survived Hurricane Florence this past month has really done a reframe around power, water, air conditioning and abundant grocery stores. It goes from: “I can’t believe Walmart is closed!” to “Thank goodness Food Lion is open and they have fresh produce.” “The bridge is impassable,” to “At least I have power and can work from home.” So, when you run out of gas and have to walk to the gas station, view it as at least I got some exercise today. Reframe the negative into a positive.

Find the opportunity

Figure out what is available. When Hurricane Florence was bearing down on Wilmington, NC, I was home taking advantage of power and hot water. I think I took at least two showers a day and kept starting up the dishwasher and washing machine. I was thinking, “Well, who knows how long we will have power. Let me do another load.” My boyfriend Roy has never seen a multi-story building he didn’t like. We checked into a hotel that had nine floors. Roy immediately decided that we were going take those stairs twice. “Here is a great opportunity!” So there I was, hiking up and down nine flights of stairs. Why waste a good opportunity for exercise? Park in the farthest spot, walk in the rain, put on a loaded backpack while you mow the lawn. Find the opportunity.

Just two beats longer

I found this in Brendon Burchard’s book, The Motivational Manifesto. As Burchard writes: Let us forget for now where we are supposed to be and what we should be doing. Instead, let us hold this moment for just two beats longer.

Do not breathe so quickly. Take in air for two beats longer.

Do not scan the room. Sense the room by gazing into each shadow and corner for two beats longer.

Do not merely glance at her. Look into her eyes and hold them for two beats longer.

Do not gulp down the next meal but savor each bite for two beats longer, let the tastes melt and linger.

Do not send the heartless note. Read it once more and spend two beats longer sensing the pain it may cause another.

Do not give a perfunctory kiss good-bye while juggling everything on the way out the door. Make the kiss count, make it firm and solid and true, holding the moment passionately for two beats longer.

Life is lived in the extra beats we hold as time unfolds.

In my opinion, those two beats hold gratitude. Savor the moment.

Journaling or whatever

Figure out a way to catalogue your gratitude. I personally have been keeping a gratitude journal for over five years. People approach this task differently – you can figure out what works for you. I kept a gratitude jar on my desk three years ago and wrote each moment of gratitude on a slip of paper, stored it in a jar until year end, and read each one on New Year’s Day. There is the practice of carrying a gratitude rock in your pocket and then touching it whenever you are grateful. You can create a gratitude tree and hang a “leaf” with each thing you are grateful for. You can write a gratitude letter once a day or week or month to thank someone you are grateful for. What’s important is that you pick something you can practice on a regular basis. I currently write five things I am grateful for in the morning and one item I am grateful for in myself (like being able to climb those 9 flights of stairs – TWICE!).

Compliment others

Nothing feels better than paying a sincere compliment. It’s completely free and feels absolutely fantastic. So, whether it’s your co-worker showing up with a new hairstyle or your assistant having completed the report in a timely manner, find something to compliment. People love to be noticed. This can be with someone you know or not. If you like the earrings of the cashier at Whole Foods, tell them you like them. It’s an easy way to pay gratitude forward. If someone pays you a compliment, be sure to say “thank you.” No qualifiers to discount the compliment like: “This old thing? I have had it for years.” Or “I really don’t like the color.” Give and accept compliments gracefully.

The underlying theme of all of this is being present and paying attention. Once it is part of you, it becomes easier and things to be grateful for multiply. Try it yourself. What are you grateful for?