Tag: dog

Dogs, Pink Jackets and Lessons on Leadership

On By Cathy NoiceIn Cathy NoiceLeave a comment

This originally published in 2013 and my beloved dog, Baci, has since passed away but the lessons still resonate.

Dogs are amazing at reflecting back what humans’ desire.  Most of us treat our pets like they are part of the family but I think my dog, Baci, thinks that she is an employee and a damn good one.   My relationship with her has taught me as much as any off-site training or college course.  Our relationship is simple and can guide you in your relationships at work.

My dog Baci in her pink jacket.

1. Trust. Baci expects her meals to be timely and fair.  She’s the first one to speak up if the kibbles are late to the bowl.  My employees and customers expect the same when it comes to compensation, goods or services. You better be on time and accurate or there will be attrition.

2. Appreciation.  There isn’t a dog who doesn’t demand their belly scratched once, twice, countless times a day. Your coworkers, boss or clients want the same “scratch” but I doubt they are up front about asking for it. Show them appreciation and more frequently than they expect.

3. Dutiful.  Baci has very clear duties at the Noice House, keep it free of all squirrels, geese and lizards.  She does an outstanding job. I am confident that she is on duty no matter what.  We haven’t had squirrels take up residence, so I know she is on top of her game.  You should have the same confidence in those who surround you at work. It’s best to assume they have your best interest at heart; that they are looking out for you. If some squirrels move in, then clarify what your expectations are.

4. Perspective. Baci has a different lens. She views things from ground level. I might be cutting up pizza on the kitchen counter or potting a plant.  She doesn’t care except for whatever falls on the floor and hopefully it’s the former. Your clients, cohorts and boss all have a different perspective and some are from the penthouse and others are in the basement. Make sure you know their perspective if you end up dropping something.

5. Attention.  I admit that I lose sight of Baci’s priorities when I’m in my office concentrating on work.  Sometimes I get up from my desk to find her sprawled at my feet and surrounded by her army of toys. She has carefully brought each toy as a gift while I wasn’t paying attention. Are your direct reports doing the same? Showing up early, staying late, working extra hours on that overdue project…are you paying attention?

6. Needs.  Baci is exasperating at times. She can’t decide if she wants in or out, to sit on my lap or on her “princess” chair; upstairs or down. Are your clients fickle and difficult to figure out? Are they changing their minds and causing you frustration. They are taking the cue from your guidelines and how malleable you are (I give in easily on letting Baci in or out). Are you meeting your clients’ needs or tuning them out?

7. Team player.  I love to dress up Baci.  And she is happy to oblige (ok…I’m not sure she’s happy). Whether it’s some Halloween monstrosity or a pink rain jacket that I happen to think is cute; she patiently shows up to be the team player; poses for pictures and moves on.  I bet there are things your co-workers put up with just because you think it’s cute or critical.  Are you letting them put on that pink rain jacket once in a while?

Animals teach us humility, patience and appreciation.  Maybe it’s time we apply those lessons to the human race. 

What has your pet taught you?

🐾 In Honor of my Beloved Baci

On By Cathy NoiceIn Cathy Noice2 Comments

My beloved dog, Baci, passed away on August 8th, 2023 at the age of 14 just shy of 15 years. She was the center of my family for the first eight years of her life while we lived in a lake front home that was her oyster.  For the last six years, she has been my constant companion as I moved from house to apartment to town home.  In each successive move, the place got smaller and her ability to roam was hampered. I began working from home in 2020, and she became essentially an appendage.  Typically, being within 3 feet of me or, at the very least, within her field of vision as she perched on her beloved spot on the love seat. 

My beloved dog Baci

Here are all the things I will miss about my beloved Baci:

  • A morning scratch. When Baci was much more agile, she would hop up on the coach where I was sitting (or any other possible scratcher) and put her paw on my arm to get my attention to give her a scratch.  The minute I backed off scratches, she would put her paw on me again to continue.
  • Punctual. She always knew what time it was especially if it was time for a walk or a meal or a kid needed to get to the school bus.  She was always a step ahead, anticipating each upcoming event and would happily remind you in case you had forgotten.
  • Alert.  She definitely lost her vision and hearing in recent years but I can remember her starting to bark when a garbage truck was a half mile away. I couldn’t hear it but she could. She knew the rumble of the truck and knew a stranger would be in the driveway pulling out the garbage cans.  She always had a perch by the front window to bark at walkers, runners and, most especially, dogs. And if she was outside, she ran along the perimeter of her area to ward off “the enemy”.
  • Her sworn enemy was the lake.  She grew up next to the lake since she was a puppy. She ran up and down the lake bank especially on summer weekends as jet skiers and boats made waves for her to try to attack from the bank.  She fell in rarely, she was able to swim but for some reason she saw the lake as a huge wet monster.
  • Compliant. Baci would always go along with whatever was asked of her like being put in a motor boat and watching her family get on an inner tube on the dreaded wet monster (see above).  There were her Halloween costumes, a pink jacket, ugly Christmas sweaters and, probably worst of all, the dreaded bell collar on Christmas Day that hampered her ability to catch a squirrel. Near the end, I had started putting her in diapers at night and she never baulked. The obligatory picture of each kid holding her before heading off to college.  If Mom wanted it, she complied.
  • Squirrels.  Baci had an incredible prey drive.  There was one tree in the front yard that Baci chased many a squirrel up.  She would race around the base of the tree and would charge the trunk trying to get up it, to no avail. In the last two years while walking the trails of Woodcroft, she would tug on the leash trying to chase them. 
  • Rabbits. Baci would stop and “point” especially at a rabbit.  She could stand still for 15 minutes waiting to stomp on top of the rabbit.  She was never successful and, in fact, frequently would overshoot the rabbit giving it an escape route. In all of her hunting, she never brought anything home expect a bird and a vol and that was over ten years ago.
  • Flies.  Baci could catch a fly.  She could sit by a window sill and focus on the fly and then hit it with her tongue. 
  • Steps.  At the lake house my children’s bedrooms were on the second floor up a carpet covered staircase.  There were many times when she would sneak upstairs to snuggle with one of my kids in their room.  Unfortunately, we updated the house to get rid of the carpet not thinking about Baci’s ability to navigate hardwood steps. After the carpet was removed we would often have to coax her back down the stairs.  
  • Her spot.  Baci always had her “spot” in the house or apartment.  For many years until Hurricane Matthew, it was a burgundy lounge chair we started calling the Princess Chair since she always held court in the chair.  Later it was the brown love seat that she always occupied until she was less agile and then it became her gray bed.  
  • Toys.  Baci stopped destroying toys after the first few years.  She had a beloved bunny or tug toy she would grab onto and pull and growl.  She really loved a lacrosse ball for a while and many tennis balls.  She could chase and return a ball but really loved to pull on a tug.
  • Hikes.  She went on countless hikes with me and would be overwhelmed by all the smells that surrounded her.  So much so that she rarely paid attention to other hikers and their dogs.  It’s so strange that she would bark at dogs crossing her home space but didn’t pay attention to them out in the world and really wanted to forage in the forest to chase down smells. Some of my best memories of her will be hiking down a tree lined trail looking for what was around the next bend.

And now there is silence. My days are aimless without my companion to remind me of what is coming up next. Her absolute joy at each and every meal and snack. Her waiting for me expectantly to return home. The anticipation of the leash and a walk outside in a wonderful exploration of world. The happy, unconditional symbiosis broken with only memories to sustain me and knowing she had and was the best. 

🫣5 Ways to Combat Guilt

On By Cathy NoiceIn Cathy NoiceLeave a comment

I just took my 14-year-old dog, Baci, to the vet for her annual checkup.  I inevitably feel guilty by the end of the visit because I failed to brush her teeth or try out the pain reliever that the vet recommended last year. I also was told to listen to Baci when she does not want to walk more than a block.  Ugh.  I feel the full rathe of guilt as I walk my sweet Baci back to the car. 

I had a client who was unable to sign into the coaching platform I use. He was frustrated and opted out of coaching because of the poor technology of the platform. Ugh. More guilt. When my children come home, I frequently forget to stock their favorite cereal or snack. Ugh.  Guilty of being a bad mom. There are countless sources of guilt in my life and how I address it is important so that I don’t lapse into shame.

Here are the 5 ways I combat guilt:

Make a list.  Prepare a list of all the things I do for my dog, my children, my clients, my family, my friends and neighbors. I collect the evidence of what I do for others.  In Baci’s case, I have constantly said that “When I come back as a dog, I want to live Baci’s life.”  She’s fed every day, gets to go on a walk (when she wants), gets full run of the house inclusive of all the snuggly couches and love seats.  I drive her 90 minutes to a boarding place in my old town when I’m on a trip because they are so sweet to her.  It’s hard for me to feel guilty when I take stock of all that I do for Baci and others.

Ask for more information.  Check in on those that I feel I’m neglecting.  Obviously, my dog is unable to answer but I can tell you that she doesn’t cower when I am near her. She is always excited to see me in the morning and to head out for a walk. Baci does not feel neglected. My adult children are pretty clear about their expectations although there was a moment over the holidays when my daughter had expected dinner and I said “I didn’t think you’d be here.” I suddenly realized that she was hurt (she had to extend her visit for several weeks) and then I said “I didn’t expect you to be here for tonight’s dinner, I thought you would be hanging with your friend.” Sometimes guilt can occur because we aren’t explicit with our own expectations.

Self Gratitude.  I keep a gratitude journal every day where I write 5 things or people I am grateful for as well as one thing I’m grateful I did for myself, like writing this blog, walking, swimming or safe travels. I do this because we are wired towards a negativity bias. If your ancestors weren’t listening for the rustle in the bushes, they would not have survived the saber tooth tiger. This constant scanning of what is wrong in the environment skews what could be fun to look at to what is wrong; like I shouldn’t have eaten that bagel or I should have walked 5 miles.  I try to be grateful every day and look for my accomplishments and successes

Role reversal.  I try to think about if the roles were reversed. Obviously, this is difficult with my dog, Baci, but let’s face it, she is living the good life. As for my children, I think about this a lot as I try not to invade their lives too much but rather to be supportive when needed. My son can think that I know more than I do about what’s going on in his life. If he’s under a lot of stress, he can assume that I realize this, even when he’s not in the same room or city. I come from a place of “If he wants to talk, he will.”  Sometimes I need to be more proactive and reach out.  I think about how I would feel if I was in his shoes and it makes me more compassionate. 

Decide on boundaries.  I know that with Baci, I’m not likely at this point to invest in extraordinary means to extend her life. Outside of regular vaccines and vet visits, she’s been the center of my life for 14 years. Keeping a decent quality of life is what’s important. With my children, I try to be clear about how much help and support I’m willing to give and be clear in communicating those boundaries. If they’ll be arriving home after 2 AM, I appreciate a text. I stay out of their relationship with their father as it’s none of my business and I don’t need the guilt associated with trying to fix anyone but myself.  I’ve made and continue to work on my boundaries. 

I don’t get as overwhelmed by guilt anymore. I certainly get pangs of guilt like not flossing enough when I head to the dentist or staying 100% plant based when I get my cholesterol results but for the most part, I’ve done pretty well combating guilt.  How about you?  How do you combat guilt?

My Dog. My Witness.

On By Cathy NoiceIn Cathy Noice Graham, Workplace Navigator1 Comment

It has been a tumultuous year. I lived in limbo for seven months following Hurricane Matthew, rebuilt my home, saw my daughter move to the west coast, and some seven months ago, decided to stop numbing out with alcohol. There has been one constant through all of this: my beloved Brittany named Baci. I’ve written about Baci several times in the past but it’s not until you are truly tested that you realize the love of a dog, may be the secret to your success.

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I say success after all this tumult because I am so much better than I was a year ago. I am stronger. Wiser. Complete. Happy. I need to give credit where credit is due. It’s all because of a dog. The best dog I have ever owned. Of course, the Universe conspires when I need inspiration to write a post. Articles on the love of a pet and its health benefits started showing up in my feed this past week. This post on my dog is long overdue.

Here is how Baci has been my witness:

Social lubricant. If it’s the neighbor, the UPS driver, the HVAC guy or the tile setter, Baci is the social lubricant that brings it all together. Sometimes, it’s me allaying fears that she might be a biter (she’s not), or a question about her breed (Brittany), or getting up in someone’s business when they are repairing the house. Baci is the natural ease of social tension if a stranger is walking up to the door or a neighbor is walking their dog. People are naturally curious about Baci or any dog for that matter. She makes awkward interactions so much the better by just wagging her tail and soaking up the attention.

Alarm system. Baci sleeps most of the day. She is nine years old and kicks back most of the day at this point. I live in a larger, older home. There are noises. Unaccounted for noises. A creak here, a sigh there. I know that if it’s something to pay attention to, Baci will be on top of it. Her hearing is a lot better than mine. She can hear a garbage truck or the UPS driver from half a mile away. I know that if it’s something to be concerned about, Baci will let me know. If she is calmly sleeping and the ice maker dumps a load of ice cubes and she doesn’t react? It’s all OK. And she knows it’s her role.

Stress reducer.  As I write this, Baci is sleeping sweetly under a picture window. She looks so calm and relaxed. How could I possibly be uptight about doing my taxes today with such a relaxed dog in the room? As written by Kristen Strut for Huffington Post, “There’s a reason therapy dogs are so effective: Spending just a few minutes with a pet can lower anxiety and blood pressure, and increase levels of serotonin and dopamine, two neurochemicals that play big roles in calm and well-being.” So Baci is my therapy dog and I get to have her everyday, all day.

Heart health. I don’t have high blood pressure. I have a family history of high blood pressure but somehow it’s missed me. Now I realize it’s probably Baci’s doing. As written on WebMD, “Heart attack patients who have pets survive longer than those without, according to several studies. Male pet owners have less signs of heart disease — lower triglyceride and cholesterol levels — than non-owners, researchers say.” Hmmm. The rest of my immediate family doesn’t own a pet. Baci is the secret to my heart health.

Unconditional love.  Baci does not care if my boss is mad at me or if I gained five pounds. She doesn’t care if I put too much lemon in the dish for dinner or if I binge watch Ozark all day. I frequently wake up at 4 AM. Baci doesn’t give a hoot if I wake up at 4 AM. She’s ready to go. No judgement. No admonishments. I am perfectly perfect as far as she is concerned. She even forgives me if I forget to fill the water dish or stash her toys for a few days. She loves me no matter what. And I love her.

Allergy fighter.  I am allergic to multiple things from aspirin to dust mites to various trees and grasses. I was on asthma medication for some fifteen years. I’ve had Baci for the last nine years. I am now off all asthma medication. I can’t say it’s Baci for sure but not having to take asthma medication is terrific. As written on WebMD, “A growing number of studies have suggested that kids growing up in a home with ‘furred animals’ — whether it’s a pet cat or dog, or on a farm and exposed to large animals — will have less risk of allergies and asthma.” I realize this is anecdotal but this is the longest I have ever lived with an inside pet and now I am asthma free.

I have a reason to get home. A reason to get back safely from a trip. A reason to wake up. A reason to stay sober. A reason to get dressed and get to work. A reason to keep my house. A reason to be grateful. A reason to stay the course. Baci gives me purpose. She is there through thick and thin. She is my rock…yes, she is my witness.