I recently read “The Tools” by Barry Michels and Phil Stutz and found its ideas quite useful in all aspects of life; regardless if I’m procrastinating, frustrated with my child or helping a client. What I find so useful is that  it can be used in real time when I’m dreading a meeting with an adversary or trying to reframe my thoughts about a run-in with my boss.  The authors want to start a movement and welcome sharing the information they posit in the book.  So here is my take on forward motion with the 5 tools:

Reversal of Desire.  I use this tool when I’m feeling resistance or fear or when I’m anticipating something uncomfortable.  This would typically cause me to procrastinate and put off the pain. Kick the can down the road a bit. Delay the confrontation and hope it goes away.  The first step is to face the pain and focus on the pain as if it is a cloud in front of you and internally scream, “Bring it on!”. I want it because it will bring value. The second step is to internally scream, “I love pain!” and keep moving forward to be one with the cloud of pain.  The final step is to feel the pain cloud spit me out and close behind me. Say inwardly, “Pain sets me free!” As I leave the cloud I am propelled forward. I find this to be similar to going through pain instead of around it; to feel the feels. To face adversity head on, and to use it to catapult yourself forward.

Active Love. I’ve started practicing this every day, especially during my loving kindness meditation in which I wish loving kindness of family, friends, clients and adversaries. I will pick out one or two folks to focus my love on whether it’s my son that I had a disagreement with, someone in need of encouragement or a client that is refusing to budge. It can be used the moment someone angers me or when I’m reliving an injustice from the past or when I know I have to confront someone. The first step is concentrating on bringing a world of infinite love into my heart and filling my chest.  The next step is transmitting all the love into the other person and not holding anything back.  The last step is feeling the love enter the other person and feeling a sense of oneness and then relax into all the energy reverberating back so that we are both enhanced by the love.  I recently suggested this to a client who was anticipating an uncomfortable meeting with their boss and they were amazed how the meeting went so smoothly and didn’t hold the animosity that they were anticipating.  I think to some degree this works because you aren’t carrying a sword and shield into a conflict but instead an openness and oneness with the other person. 

Inner Authority.  This tool is all about taking a look at my insecurities in the form of The Shadow. The Shadow represents everything that makes you and me feel insecure like appearance, education or economic status. I imagine my shadow as an 11-year-old painful skinny girl with blue horn rim glasses and buck teeth. The are many occasions to use this: When I’m having anxiety about speaking to a new client, a confrontation, or a speaking engagement. Also when worrying about a future event I’m attending or traveling overseas or anticipating conflicts at an upcoming event.  First, I image myself on stage (in front of one person or a hundred).  Step two is to bond with my shadow. I ignore the audience and focus on my eleven-year-old self and create an unbreakable bond with her so that we are one unit. Step three is to internally shout in unison with my shadow, “Listen!”. The authority comes from myself and my shadow speaking in one voice.  This tool helps me speak with clarity and authority.

Grateful Flow.  I use this tool when I’m wrapped up in negative thinking and I’ve been taken over by the Black Cloud. The Black Cloud limits me in what I can accomplish and keeps me stuck where I am instead of forward motion.  This tool can be used when I’m in a negative spiral of thoughts like “that client is never going to pay me” and “they don’t want to use me anymore” or “ I’m charging too much.” It can also be used when sitting at a red light or waiting in line or upon waking or going to sleep.  The first step is to list what I’m grateful for. As I list what I am grateful for I try to pace myself and really connect to what I am grateful for like the new orchid blossom, the blue bird, the green leaves in the breeze or my mother’s phone call.  It’s important to mix it up each time. After 30 seconds I stop listing and embrace the sensations of gratefulness. The last step is I to connect to the energy coming from my heart and feel the power of infinite giving. I have historically kept a gratitude journal and this has been an extension of that and I’ve learned to expand my list of what I am grateful for and to embrace the power of it.

Jeopardy.  The authors emphasized that everyone will slack off from using the tools. Sort of resting on your laurels that now you have this magical state and it doesn’t need to be practiced anymore.  I’m not here yet but cues to use this tool are when you know you need to use a tool but, for whatever reason, can’t get yourself to use one or when you think you’ve grown beyond the tool.  The first step is called Deathbed Scene and you imagine yourself lying on your deathbed.  The next step is to when your older self, screams at you not to waste the present moment.  The last step is to use fear as a motivator; you don’t want to squander your life which creates an urgent desire to start using one of the first four tools. 

I think that once I really learned the tools, it became easier and more second nature to use it. I recommend you go to their website It took me trying to use them several times before I really embraced the steps. I was surprised how quickly any one of the steps take because it’s all internal and can be used any time.  Which tool would you like to try?